Ever have one of those days? Haven't even had a chance to get out on the wrong side of the bed before the day goes to pot!? Welcome to my little corner of paradise today! Ugh. And when I get here (to work) I'm feeling paranoid, because my co-workers keep IM'ing one another and giggling - hate feeling left out of the loop, you know?
Don't know what else to do but count my blessings and be happy anyway...
Planning on (or at least hoping to) organizing "C-word" gift lists in my down time today. We'll see how that goes.
It's hard for me to get my head around the fact that our absolutely gorgeous sunset last night was an effect of a weather hiccup half a world away. And that same hiccup caused such horrifying destruction and devastation.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
First Full Day
So, today was the first full day of school. Not bad I guess. DS2 seems to be adjusting well. DS1 said he found all his classes - actually his 'team' all have the same classes, so I can just picture them making their way down the hall like a herd of little lemmings...so cute! Anyway, the worst part, for me, anyway, seems to be the picking up of the kiddos - here - let me make that a bit more imposing: THE PICKING UP OF THE KIDDOS. Much better. And much more like it really is. In past years, when everyone was at the same school, I took my lunch "hour" on days when DH worked and sat outside the school, waiting for them to be paroled and then took them to the sitters. I then went back to work to finish out my day. Peachy keen.
Now however, the school board, in it's infinite *coughcough* wisdom, has changed the starting and ending times of the school day. Mornings are not a problem. Afternoons: DS1 gets out at 3pm. DS2 gets out at 3:45!!! ACK! And I still only have the same lunch "hour"! So today, I got to DS1's school precisely one minute after the bell rang (in order to maximize my at-work time.) Then we went to DS2's school. And sat. And sat. And sat. Did I mention we sat? Yeah. Just. Sitting. Waiting. For. EVER.
So, that's the yucky part. But, we'll just have to do it - there really is no other option. Fortunately, my friend boss is pretty understanding!
On a happier note: Donna - he's not in an oil well - I heard from Skip! Doing fine - just waiting to get into a real house.
Now however, the school board, in it's infinite *coughcough* wisdom, has changed the starting and ending times of the school day. Mornings are not a problem. Afternoons: DS1 gets out at 3pm. DS2 gets out at 3:45!!! ACK! And I still only have the same lunch "hour"! So today, I got to DS1's school precisely one minute after the bell rang (in order to maximize my at-work time.) Then we went to DS2's school. And sat. And sat. And sat. Did I mention we sat? Yeah. Just. Sitting. Waiting. For. EVER.
So, that's the yucky part. But, we'll just have to do it - there really is no other option. Fortunately, my friend boss is pretty understanding!
On a happier note: Donna - he's not in an oil well - I heard from Skip! Doing fine - just waiting to get into a real house.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
They're Baa-aack
...at school, that is. Today was the first 1/2 day. Sounds like it went well...
I know y'all don't want to hear it, but I've started making lists for the "C-word" holiday (which is only 123 days away...) Started my gift list, card list, and baking list. Planned menus for the "T-word" holiday as well as the "C-word" one.
The PT talked about Zoe after practice last night. I hope I can work out going next year...! Depending on the dates next year, and finances, of course, I may be able to swing it. It's difficult to schedule child care because of DH's work hours, but next year, if they hold to the date I think they will, is the best possible configuration. We'll see...
Back to work...:)
I know y'all don't want to hear it, but I've started making lists for the "C-word" holiday (which is only 123 days away...) Started my gift list, card list, and baking list. Planned menus for the "T-word" holiday as well as the "C-word" one.
The PT talked about Zoe after practice last night. I hope I can work out going next year...! Depending on the dates next year, and finances, of course, I may be able to swing it. It's difficult to schedule child care because of DH's work hours, but next year, if they hold to the date I think they will, is the best possible configuration. We'll see...
Back to work...:)
Monday, August 22, 2005
New & Improved, Ultra Terrific, Completely Free Weekend Recap!!!
Maybe if I say it enthusiastically enough, I'll actually believe it! Actually, the weekend was good. Busy, but good. Friday was DS1's birthday sleepover, and of course they insisted on staying up til all hours - at least 4am. But I think they had a good time, so that's all that really matters. But during the day we were crazy busy running around town!
Saturday was a little calmer. DH didn't work as he thought he'd have to, which was good. Went to a new restaurant - not bad - especially when you get to feed a family of four for zip-zero-zilch-nada-nothing-FREE!! If you're into that kind of thing, or course. And then my beloved husband took us to my favorite hobby store! And then to a candle store! Love that man o' mine!
Sunday worship was good! Our minister was able to present the message only three weeks after major heart surgery! Relaxed the rest of the day, grilled out, chilled. Took DS1 to his first Junior High youth group event. Which he loved. Said it was the best time he'd ever had in his whole life.
On another note, the sauna at our house is officially out of commission. Some people may be saddened to hear something like that, but we were actually very happy! You see, we don't actually have a built-in sauna per se. We had a heavily leaking water heater. So the temperature downstairs was crazy warm for a basement, and not to mention the hot water all over the floor. Ugh. But that got replaced Sunday morning (thanks, Matt!) and I can walk into my laundry room without hip waders! Hooray!
So. On to this week...
Happy Monday!
Saturday was a little calmer. DH didn't work as he thought he'd have to, which was good. Went to a new restaurant - not bad - especially when you get to feed a family of four for zip-zero-zilch-nada-nothing-FREE!! If you're into that kind of thing, or course. And then my beloved husband took us to my favorite hobby store! And then to a candle store! Love that man o' mine!
Sunday worship was good! Our minister was able to present the message only three weeks after major heart surgery! Relaxed the rest of the day, grilled out, chilled. Took DS1 to his first Junior High youth group event. Which he loved. Said it was the best time he'd ever had in his whole life.
On another note, the sauna at our house is officially out of commission. Some people may be saddened to hear something like that, but we were actually very happy! You see, we don't actually have a built-in sauna per se. We had a heavily leaking water heater. So the temperature downstairs was crazy warm for a basement, and not to mention the hot water all over the floor. Ugh. But that got replaced Sunday morning (thanks, Matt!) and I can walk into my laundry room without hip waders! Hooray!
So. On to this week...
Happy Monday!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
The Second Decade Begins
"It's a boy!"
We cried with joy. A boy! A son! A little someone who could bring such happiness!
"It's a boy!"
Our own little 'frog' - all tummy and legs on the sonogram. Our 'Tank' - who was, um, a healthy size when he came into this world. Finally.
"It's a boy!"
Cute as a bug with those HUGE blue eyes and curls. Toddling around, playing so sweetly, always had a ball in his hand.
"It's a boy!"
Trying so hard to be patient when the 'new' baby came home. Growing so fast.
"It's a boy!"
School already? Wow! Such potential, so quick to learn new things. Made a wonderful Simba in the school program.
"It's a boy!"
Struggles with math. Struggles with staying seated, because you were so curious about everything. Perservering and trying.
"It's a boy!"
Hmmm...so girls aren't so icky after all...
"It's a boy!"
Wow - junior high! It's gone by so fast...
Love you, Sweetie!
We cried with joy. A boy! A son! A little someone who could bring such happiness!
"It's a boy!"
Our own little 'frog' - all tummy and legs on the sonogram. Our 'Tank' - who was, um, a healthy size when he came into this world. Finally.
"It's a boy!"
Cute as a bug with those HUGE blue eyes and curls. Toddling around, playing so sweetly, always had a ball in his hand.
"It's a boy!"
Trying so hard to be patient when the 'new' baby came home. Growing so fast.
"It's a boy!"
School already? Wow! Such potential, so quick to learn new things. Made a wonderful Simba in the school program.
"It's a boy!"
Struggles with math. Struggles with staying seated, because you were so curious about everything. Perservering and trying.
"It's a boy!"
Hmmm...so girls aren't so icky after all...
"It's a boy!"
Wow - junior high! It's gone by so fast...
Love you, Sweetie!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Monday
I'm doing the best I can - I wish I could do more, but I can't...if I could give something up, believe me I would! I hate month-end at work - especially when it falls on a Monday! Too busy to surf - uh - I mean - get everything done I need to! Yeah, that's it! And then there's the laundry when I get home, and...*sigh*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Dreams
I actually had a nightmare last night. I can't recall the last time I had one. And this was a doozy! Just real enough to really freak me out, yet I knew it was a dream. The whole screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-but-no-sound-coming-out scenario due to things/people around me being possessed and haunted and stuff. Ugh. I'm so tired this morning. I think the worst part was when DS2 was whispering my name while I was dreaming - scared me to death!
Wonder where this particular fear came from? Alot of it was simply deep frustration with people around me, not necessarily true fear. "Just let me get out of here and away from you people who are enthralled with these ghosties - and especially away from the box in the closet that seems to have independent movement!" Thankyouverymuch! Not my proudest dream moments...
Today starts school registration for the kids. And a week from today is DS1's birthday. It's all happening so fast. DS1 is convinced that anytime I'm out of his sight running errands that I'm in reality buying him birthday loot. He would be so disappointed to discover that I haven't even THOUGHT of anything to give him yet. *sigh*
...muddling through...
(PS: Only 136 days til Christmas...)
Wonder where this particular fear came from? Alot of it was simply deep frustration with people around me, not necessarily true fear. "Just let me get out of here and away from you people who are enthralled with these ghosties - and especially away from the box in the closet that seems to have independent movement!" Thankyouverymuch! Not my proudest dream moments...
Today starts school registration for the kids. And a week from today is DS1's birthday. It's all happening so fast. DS1 is convinced that anytime I'm out of his sight running errands that I'm in reality buying him birthday loot. He would be so disappointed to discover that I haven't even THOUGHT of anything to give him yet. *sigh*
...muddling through...
(PS: Only 136 days til Christmas...)
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Tuesday
Well, still haven't heard from my dad or anyone on that side of the family as to details or needs, so I'm kind of in a holding pattern right now. Thank you for your prayers and kind words.
I've got some possible blog-able ideas, but I haven't fully developed them yet. I've been thinking on them for awhile. Just not in publishable form yet. But soon.
School registration is coming up frighteningly fast! This week for one and next week for the other. For some reason, I'm feeling really anxious this year.
Work is calling...(I'm trying to ignore it, but it's a persistant little dickens!)
I've got some possible blog-able ideas, but I haven't fully developed them yet. I've been thinking on them for awhile. Just not in publishable form yet. But soon.
School registration is coming up frighteningly fast! This week for one and next week for the other. For some reason, I'm feeling really anxious this year.
Work is calling...(I'm trying to ignore it, but it's a persistant little dickens!)
Friday, August 05, 2005
Friday
Sorry I'm posting kinda late today. I actually decided to get work stuff done first, and then blog - novel concept, I realize.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still struggling with anger, but still torn over how to help my dad. My grammy called Wednesday night and apologized for what she had said - which helped a great deal. I told her she was easy to forgive! The others...well...I'm workin' on it.
So. On to bigger and better things, I guess.
Have a good weekend...
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still struggling with anger, but still torn over how to help my dad. My grammy called Wednesday night and apologized for what she had said - which helped a great deal. I told her she was easy to forgive! The others...well...I'm workin' on it.
So. On to bigger and better things, I guess.
Have a good weekend...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
A death in the "family"
My stepmother has died. My grandfather called yesterday to let us know. My first reaction was grief. I actually got teary when DH called me to tell me. Then I lost it a little bit at praise team practice (sorry guys!) I'm not sure why I was upset, though. That's been the question of the day. DH was surprised at my reaction.
This is a situation I've been dreading. You see, I'm an only child, so when one of my parents dies, it comes to me. All the decisions, all the bills, everything. To me. Granted, she was my STEP mother, and had children of her own, but my father is disabled due to epilepsy. He has brain damage due to a hunting accident which occured before I was a year old. He hasn't worked in nearly 40 years, has numerous medications to take daily, can't drive, has one eye - might as well be nicknamed "Lucky." So, here's my secondary reaction - what am I going to do with Dad? Do I go down for the funeral and stay for awhile to help him out? Do I bring him back here (they live out of state)? How am I going to get to the service? What do I do with the kids, DH and the dog? I couldn't reach my dad last night, and my grandfather was not home - for hours, it seemed. So I had no direction as to make plans for anything. I did what any self-respecting 38 year old woman would do - I called my grammy!
Which didn't go as well as I had hoped. She was sympathetic, but as she so succinctly stated, "she was nothing to you." True as that may be, I would want to be there for him. "But honey, he wasn't anything to you either." Ouch. Yeah, great, thanks - that helps a lot. Or, you know, not. Then I was able to reach my grandfather and aunt. My aunt was nearly as sympathetic as my mom's mom. Evidently, dad is being - um - strong-willed about things. He's fighting with my stepmother's daughter. He has 'friends' who are helping him out with housing and meds, etc - which makes my grandfather very suspicious. As I've stated, he cannot live alone, so my aunt and grandfather were looking into assisted living for him here, but he's been there for so long, he wouldn't know anyone around here anymore. And there's no way he could live with them, as my aunt put it. My grandfather and aunts have never liked his wife, so I could understand some of their feelings. But, come on - HE'S family! They aren't going to the service, which is today. Not even going to send flowers. Well.
So, I get off the phone with my aunt and start talking to DH about this. And then the anger starts to rear it's ugly little head.
- grammy is right - neither one of them is anything to me
- he deserted me and my mom
- he didn't tell his only child that he had even remarried, let alone that she has new brothers and sisters
- he had to be nagged to spend time with me when I was growing up
- he moved away to be closer to her adult children
- I have seen him exactly One. Time. in the last 20 years - which was his mother's funeral, in spite of the fact he has evidently been here to see his father and sisters numerous times
- he STILL has not even called to tell me she has died
As I've said before, my family is the rogue's gallery of dysfunctional families. As I'm expressing this anger to DH, he gently, but very convictingly, points out that when I first heard the news, all he saw was God - caring for my father, wanting to take care of him, etc. But after my family's influence, he saw something else. (Darn him - really irritates me when he's right!)
So basically, I have to do what God wants me to do, in spite of the circumstances and people involved. Even though I think my feelings are justified, I will do what needs to be done. Which, right now evidently, is not a whole lot. Except what is right.
This is a situation I've been dreading. You see, I'm an only child, so when one of my parents dies, it comes to me. All the decisions, all the bills, everything. To me. Granted, she was my STEP mother, and had children of her own, but my father is disabled due to epilepsy. He has brain damage due to a hunting accident which occured before I was a year old. He hasn't worked in nearly 40 years, has numerous medications to take daily, can't drive, has one eye - might as well be nicknamed "Lucky." So, here's my secondary reaction - what am I going to do with Dad? Do I go down for the funeral and stay for awhile to help him out? Do I bring him back here (they live out of state)? How am I going to get to the service? What do I do with the kids, DH and the dog? I couldn't reach my dad last night, and my grandfather was not home - for hours, it seemed. So I had no direction as to make plans for anything. I did what any self-respecting 38 year old woman would do - I called my grammy!
Which didn't go as well as I had hoped. She was sympathetic, but as she so succinctly stated, "she was nothing to you." True as that may be, I would want to be there for him. "But honey, he wasn't anything to you either." Ouch. Yeah, great, thanks - that helps a lot. Or, you know, not. Then I was able to reach my grandfather and aunt. My aunt was nearly as sympathetic as my mom's mom. Evidently, dad is being - um - strong-willed about things. He's fighting with my stepmother's daughter. He has 'friends' who are helping him out with housing and meds, etc - which makes my grandfather very suspicious. As I've stated, he cannot live alone, so my aunt and grandfather were looking into assisted living for him here, but he's been there for so long, he wouldn't know anyone around here anymore. And there's no way he could live with them, as my aunt put it. My grandfather and aunts have never liked his wife, so I could understand some of their feelings. But, come on - HE'S family! They aren't going to the service, which is today. Not even going to send flowers. Well.
So, I get off the phone with my aunt and start talking to DH about this. And then the anger starts to rear it's ugly little head.
- grammy is right - neither one of them is anything to me
- he deserted me and my mom
- he didn't tell his only child that he had even remarried, let alone that she has new brothers and sisters
- he had to be nagged to spend time with me when I was growing up
- he moved away to be closer to her adult children
- I have seen him exactly One. Time. in the last 20 years - which was his mother's funeral, in spite of the fact he has evidently been here to see his father and sisters numerous times
- he STILL has not even called to tell me she has died
As I've said before, my family is the rogue's gallery of dysfunctional families. As I'm expressing this anger to DH, he gently, but very convictingly, points out that when I first heard the news, all he saw was God - caring for my father, wanting to take care of him, etc. But after my family's influence, he saw something else. (Darn him - really irritates me when he's right!)
So basically, I have to do what God wants me to do, in spite of the circumstances and people involved. Even though I think my feelings are justified, I will do what needs to be done. Which, right now evidently, is not a whole lot. Except what is right.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Conclusions
Today's the day! I've been waiting for it for, well, a year now. One year ago today, I started my 'new and improved' blog. I'm not sure what, if anything, I wanted to accomplish with this thing, but there ya go.
I've gone back and read my past posts and comments, perhaps looking for the meaning or purpose behind blogging, or a deeper meaning IN my blogs. I found that in the past year I've been up and down. I've been deep and shallow. I've been needy and giving. I've been close to God and not so close. I've made it through tough times with my DH and kiddos, and celebrated good times with them. I've been bold and I've been retiring. I've made friends, and adjusted other relationships.
It's been a year in the life. And what I've discovered is: I'm human. No better, no worse than anyone else. Just me. I've changed some things that I needed to, and maybe found things I still need to work on.
Thanks to those of you who have joined me on this journey - ready for the next page?
I've gone back and read my past posts and comments, perhaps looking for the meaning or purpose behind blogging, or a deeper meaning IN my blogs. I found that in the past year I've been up and down. I've been deep and shallow. I've been needy and giving. I've been close to God and not so close. I've made it through tough times with my DH and kiddos, and celebrated good times with them. I've been bold and I've been retiring. I've made friends, and adjusted other relationships.
It's been a year in the life. And what I've discovered is: I'm human. No better, no worse than anyone else. Just me. I've changed some things that I needed to, and maybe found things I still need to work on.
Thanks to those of you who have joined me on this journey - ready for the next page?
Monday, August 01, 2005
Happy August!
Monday again - yahoo. Or not. Let's see - weekend recap: Friday was a day off of work for me and the kiddos and I went to visit my grandmother - whose hobby is spoiling us! She bought school supplies - wow! Big hugs!
Saturday, we hung out at home, and visited with a friend who had come into town to help celebrate our pastor's 25th anniversary. She's always so fun to have around! Saturday evening I went to a get-together of some of the other out-of-towners - lots of laughter and reminiscing!
Sunday was church at the park. The body honored Larry for his service and we had a good time fellowshipping and renewing friendships.
I was most anxious to see my friend who came over Saturday this weekend, as well as our former college minister and his wife. It has been a LOOOOONG time since I had seen them. I have to confess, I was a little disappointed when I had to introduce myself to them. They had such an influence and impact on me, and although I am guilty of not keeping in touch with them, I have often thought about them and prayed for them. I guess they didn't realize the size of the footprints they left in my life. Just goes to show ya! Sunday after church, she apologized profusely for not having recognized me, but told me that she did remember me and gave me a big hug. Which really meant alot.
Blugs!
Saturday, we hung out at home, and visited with a friend who had come into town to help celebrate our pastor's 25th anniversary. She's always so fun to have around! Saturday evening I went to a get-together of some of the other out-of-towners - lots of laughter and reminiscing!
Sunday was church at the park. The body honored Larry for his service and we had a good time fellowshipping and renewing friendships.
I was most anxious to see my friend who came over Saturday this weekend, as well as our former college minister and his wife. It has been a LOOOOONG time since I had seen them. I have to confess, I was a little disappointed when I had to introduce myself to them. They had such an influence and impact on me, and although I am guilty of not keeping in touch with them, I have often thought about them and prayed for them. I guess they didn't realize the size of the footprints they left in my life. Just goes to show ya! Sunday after church, she apologized profusely for not having recognized me, but told me that she did remember me and gave me a big hug. Which really meant alot.
Blugs!
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