...at school, that is. Today was the first 1/2 day. Sounds like it went well...
I know y'all don't want to hear it, but I've started making lists for the "C-word" holiday (which is only 123 days away...) Started my gift list, card list, and baking list. Planned menus for the "T-word" holiday as well as the "C-word" one.
The PT talked about Zoe after practice last night. I hope I can work out going next year...! Depending on the dates next year, and finances, of course, I may be able to swing it. It's difficult to schedule child care because of DH's work hours, but next year, if they hold to the date I think they will, is the best possible configuration. We'll see...
Back to work...:)
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
New & Improved, Ultra Terrific, Completely Free Weekend Recap!!!
Maybe if I say it enthusiastically enough, I'll actually believe it! Actually, the weekend was good. Busy, but good. Friday was DS1's birthday sleepover, and of course they insisted on staying up til all hours - at least 4am. But I think they had a good time, so that's all that really matters. But during the day we were crazy busy running around town!
Saturday was a little calmer. DH didn't work as he thought he'd have to, which was good. Went to a new restaurant - not bad - especially when you get to feed a family of four for zip-zero-zilch-nada-nothing-FREE!! If you're into that kind of thing, or course. And then my beloved husband took us to my favorite hobby store! And then to a candle store! Love that man o' mine!
Sunday worship was good! Our minister was able to present the message only three weeks after major heart surgery! Relaxed the rest of the day, grilled out, chilled. Took DS1 to his first Junior High youth group event. Which he loved. Said it was the best time he'd ever had in his whole life.
On another note, the sauna at our house is officially out of commission. Some people may be saddened to hear something like that, but we were actually very happy! You see, we don't actually have a built-in sauna per se. We had a heavily leaking water heater. So the temperature downstairs was crazy warm for a basement, and not to mention the hot water all over the floor. Ugh. But that got replaced Sunday morning (thanks, Matt!) and I can walk into my laundry room without hip waders! Hooray!
So. On to this week...
Happy Monday!
Saturday was a little calmer. DH didn't work as he thought he'd have to, which was good. Went to a new restaurant - not bad - especially when you get to feed a family of four for zip-zero-zilch-nada-nothing-FREE!! If you're into that kind of thing, or course. And then my beloved husband took us to my favorite hobby store! And then to a candle store! Love that man o' mine!
Sunday worship was good! Our minister was able to present the message only three weeks after major heart surgery! Relaxed the rest of the day, grilled out, chilled. Took DS1 to his first Junior High youth group event. Which he loved. Said it was the best time he'd ever had in his whole life.
On another note, the sauna at our house is officially out of commission. Some people may be saddened to hear something like that, but we were actually very happy! You see, we don't actually have a built-in sauna per se. We had a heavily leaking water heater. So the temperature downstairs was crazy warm for a basement, and not to mention the hot water all over the floor. Ugh. But that got replaced Sunday morning (thanks, Matt!) and I can walk into my laundry room without hip waders! Hooray!
So. On to this week...
Happy Monday!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
The Second Decade Begins
"It's a boy!"
We cried with joy. A boy! A son! A little someone who could bring such happiness!
"It's a boy!"
Our own little 'frog' - all tummy and legs on the sonogram. Our 'Tank' - who was, um, a healthy size when he came into this world. Finally.
"It's a boy!"
Cute as a bug with those HUGE blue eyes and curls. Toddling around, playing so sweetly, always had a ball in his hand.
"It's a boy!"
Trying so hard to be patient when the 'new' baby came home. Growing so fast.
"It's a boy!"
School already? Wow! Such potential, so quick to learn new things. Made a wonderful Simba in the school program.
"It's a boy!"
Struggles with math. Struggles with staying seated, because you were so curious about everything. Perservering and trying.
"It's a boy!"
Hmmm...so girls aren't so icky after all...
"It's a boy!"
Wow - junior high! It's gone by so fast...
Love you, Sweetie!
We cried with joy. A boy! A son! A little someone who could bring such happiness!
"It's a boy!"
Our own little 'frog' - all tummy and legs on the sonogram. Our 'Tank' - who was, um, a healthy size when he came into this world. Finally.
"It's a boy!"
Cute as a bug with those HUGE blue eyes and curls. Toddling around, playing so sweetly, always had a ball in his hand.
"It's a boy!"
Trying so hard to be patient when the 'new' baby came home. Growing so fast.
"It's a boy!"
School already? Wow! Such potential, so quick to learn new things. Made a wonderful Simba in the school program.
"It's a boy!"
Struggles with math. Struggles with staying seated, because you were so curious about everything. Perservering and trying.
"It's a boy!"
Hmmm...so girls aren't so icky after all...
"It's a boy!"
Wow - junior high! It's gone by so fast...
Love you, Sweetie!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Monday
I'm doing the best I can - I wish I could do more, but I can't...if I could give something up, believe me I would! I hate month-end at work - especially when it falls on a Monday! Too busy to surf - uh - I mean - get everything done I need to! Yeah, that's it! And then there's the laundry when I get home, and...*sigh*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Dreams
I actually had a nightmare last night. I can't recall the last time I had one. And this was a doozy! Just real enough to really freak me out, yet I knew it was a dream. The whole screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-but-no-sound-coming-out scenario due to things/people around me being possessed and haunted and stuff. Ugh. I'm so tired this morning. I think the worst part was when DS2 was whispering my name while I was dreaming - scared me to death!
Wonder where this particular fear came from? Alot of it was simply deep frustration with people around me, not necessarily true fear. "Just let me get out of here and away from you people who are enthralled with these ghosties - and especially away from the box in the closet that seems to have independent movement!" Thankyouverymuch! Not my proudest dream moments...
Today starts school registration for the kids. And a week from today is DS1's birthday. It's all happening so fast. DS1 is convinced that anytime I'm out of his sight running errands that I'm in reality buying him birthday loot. He would be so disappointed to discover that I haven't even THOUGHT of anything to give him yet. *sigh*
...muddling through...
(PS: Only 136 days til Christmas...)
Wonder where this particular fear came from? Alot of it was simply deep frustration with people around me, not necessarily true fear. "Just let me get out of here and away from you people who are enthralled with these ghosties - and especially away from the box in the closet that seems to have independent movement!" Thankyouverymuch! Not my proudest dream moments...
Today starts school registration for the kids. And a week from today is DS1's birthday. It's all happening so fast. DS1 is convinced that anytime I'm out of his sight running errands that I'm in reality buying him birthday loot. He would be so disappointed to discover that I haven't even THOUGHT of anything to give him yet. *sigh*
...muddling through...
(PS: Only 136 days til Christmas...)
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Tuesday
Well, still haven't heard from my dad or anyone on that side of the family as to details or needs, so I'm kind of in a holding pattern right now. Thank you for your prayers and kind words.
I've got some possible blog-able ideas, but I haven't fully developed them yet. I've been thinking on them for awhile. Just not in publishable form yet. But soon.
School registration is coming up frighteningly fast! This week for one and next week for the other. For some reason, I'm feeling really anxious this year.
Work is calling...(I'm trying to ignore it, but it's a persistant little dickens!)
I've got some possible blog-able ideas, but I haven't fully developed them yet. I've been thinking on them for awhile. Just not in publishable form yet. But soon.
School registration is coming up frighteningly fast! This week for one and next week for the other. For some reason, I'm feeling really anxious this year.
Work is calling...(I'm trying to ignore it, but it's a persistant little dickens!)
Friday, August 05, 2005
Friday
Sorry I'm posting kinda late today. I actually decided to get work stuff done first, and then blog - novel concept, I realize.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still struggling with anger, but still torn over how to help my dad. My grammy called Wednesday night and apologized for what she had said - which helped a great deal. I told her she was easy to forgive! The others...well...I'm workin' on it.
So. On to bigger and better things, I guess.
Have a good weekend...
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still struggling with anger, but still torn over how to help my dad. My grammy called Wednesday night and apologized for what she had said - which helped a great deal. I told her she was easy to forgive! The others...well...I'm workin' on it.
So. On to bigger and better things, I guess.
Have a good weekend...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
A death in the "family"
My stepmother has died. My grandfather called yesterday to let us know. My first reaction was grief. I actually got teary when DH called me to tell me. Then I lost it a little bit at praise team practice (sorry guys!) I'm not sure why I was upset, though. That's been the question of the day. DH was surprised at my reaction.
This is a situation I've been dreading. You see, I'm an only child, so when one of my parents dies, it comes to me. All the decisions, all the bills, everything. To me. Granted, she was my STEP mother, and had children of her own, but my father is disabled due to epilepsy. He has brain damage due to a hunting accident which occured before I was a year old. He hasn't worked in nearly 40 years, has numerous medications to take daily, can't drive, has one eye - might as well be nicknamed "Lucky." So, here's my secondary reaction - what am I going to do with Dad? Do I go down for the funeral and stay for awhile to help him out? Do I bring him back here (they live out of state)? How am I going to get to the service? What do I do with the kids, DH and the dog? I couldn't reach my dad last night, and my grandfather was not home - for hours, it seemed. So I had no direction as to make plans for anything. I did what any self-respecting 38 year old woman would do - I called my grammy!
Which didn't go as well as I had hoped. She was sympathetic, but as she so succinctly stated, "she was nothing to you." True as that may be, I would want to be there for him. "But honey, he wasn't anything to you either." Ouch. Yeah, great, thanks - that helps a lot. Or, you know, not. Then I was able to reach my grandfather and aunt. My aunt was nearly as sympathetic as my mom's mom. Evidently, dad is being - um - strong-willed about things. He's fighting with my stepmother's daughter. He has 'friends' who are helping him out with housing and meds, etc - which makes my grandfather very suspicious. As I've stated, he cannot live alone, so my aunt and grandfather were looking into assisted living for him here, but he's been there for so long, he wouldn't know anyone around here anymore. And there's no way he could live with them, as my aunt put it. My grandfather and aunts have never liked his wife, so I could understand some of their feelings. But, come on - HE'S family! They aren't going to the service, which is today. Not even going to send flowers. Well.
So, I get off the phone with my aunt and start talking to DH about this. And then the anger starts to rear it's ugly little head.
- grammy is right - neither one of them is anything to me
- he deserted me and my mom
- he didn't tell his only child that he had even remarried, let alone that she has new brothers and sisters
- he had to be nagged to spend time with me when I was growing up
- he moved away to be closer to her adult children
- I have seen him exactly One. Time. in the last 20 years - which was his mother's funeral, in spite of the fact he has evidently been here to see his father and sisters numerous times
- he STILL has not even called to tell me she has died
As I've said before, my family is the rogue's gallery of dysfunctional families. As I'm expressing this anger to DH, he gently, but very convictingly, points out that when I first heard the news, all he saw was God - caring for my father, wanting to take care of him, etc. But after my family's influence, he saw something else. (Darn him - really irritates me when he's right!)
So basically, I have to do what God wants me to do, in spite of the circumstances and people involved. Even though I think my feelings are justified, I will do what needs to be done. Which, right now evidently, is not a whole lot. Except what is right.
This is a situation I've been dreading. You see, I'm an only child, so when one of my parents dies, it comes to me. All the decisions, all the bills, everything. To me. Granted, she was my STEP mother, and had children of her own, but my father is disabled due to epilepsy. He has brain damage due to a hunting accident which occured before I was a year old. He hasn't worked in nearly 40 years, has numerous medications to take daily, can't drive, has one eye - might as well be nicknamed "Lucky." So, here's my secondary reaction - what am I going to do with Dad? Do I go down for the funeral and stay for awhile to help him out? Do I bring him back here (they live out of state)? How am I going to get to the service? What do I do with the kids, DH and the dog? I couldn't reach my dad last night, and my grandfather was not home - for hours, it seemed. So I had no direction as to make plans for anything. I did what any self-respecting 38 year old woman would do - I called my grammy!
Which didn't go as well as I had hoped. She was sympathetic, but as she so succinctly stated, "she was nothing to you." True as that may be, I would want to be there for him. "But honey, he wasn't anything to you either." Ouch. Yeah, great, thanks - that helps a lot. Or, you know, not. Then I was able to reach my grandfather and aunt. My aunt was nearly as sympathetic as my mom's mom. Evidently, dad is being - um - strong-willed about things. He's fighting with my stepmother's daughter. He has 'friends' who are helping him out with housing and meds, etc - which makes my grandfather very suspicious. As I've stated, he cannot live alone, so my aunt and grandfather were looking into assisted living for him here, but he's been there for so long, he wouldn't know anyone around here anymore. And there's no way he could live with them, as my aunt put it. My grandfather and aunts have never liked his wife, so I could understand some of their feelings. But, come on - HE'S family! They aren't going to the service, which is today. Not even going to send flowers. Well.
So, I get off the phone with my aunt and start talking to DH about this. And then the anger starts to rear it's ugly little head.
- grammy is right - neither one of them is anything to me
- he deserted me and my mom
- he didn't tell his only child that he had even remarried, let alone that she has new brothers and sisters
- he had to be nagged to spend time with me when I was growing up
- he moved away to be closer to her adult children
- I have seen him exactly One. Time. in the last 20 years - which was his mother's funeral, in spite of the fact he has evidently been here to see his father and sisters numerous times
- he STILL has not even called to tell me she has died
As I've said before, my family is the rogue's gallery of dysfunctional families. As I'm expressing this anger to DH, he gently, but very convictingly, points out that when I first heard the news, all he saw was God - caring for my father, wanting to take care of him, etc. But after my family's influence, he saw something else. (Darn him - really irritates me when he's right!)
So basically, I have to do what God wants me to do, in spite of the circumstances and people involved. Even though I think my feelings are justified, I will do what needs to be done. Which, right now evidently, is not a whole lot. Except what is right.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Conclusions
Today's the day! I've been waiting for it for, well, a year now. One year ago today, I started my 'new and improved' blog. I'm not sure what, if anything, I wanted to accomplish with this thing, but there ya go.
I've gone back and read my past posts and comments, perhaps looking for the meaning or purpose behind blogging, or a deeper meaning IN my blogs. I found that in the past year I've been up and down. I've been deep and shallow. I've been needy and giving. I've been close to God and not so close. I've made it through tough times with my DH and kiddos, and celebrated good times with them. I've been bold and I've been retiring. I've made friends, and adjusted other relationships.
It's been a year in the life. And what I've discovered is: I'm human. No better, no worse than anyone else. Just me. I've changed some things that I needed to, and maybe found things I still need to work on.
Thanks to those of you who have joined me on this journey - ready for the next page?
I've gone back and read my past posts and comments, perhaps looking for the meaning or purpose behind blogging, or a deeper meaning IN my blogs. I found that in the past year I've been up and down. I've been deep and shallow. I've been needy and giving. I've been close to God and not so close. I've made it through tough times with my DH and kiddos, and celebrated good times with them. I've been bold and I've been retiring. I've made friends, and adjusted other relationships.
It's been a year in the life. And what I've discovered is: I'm human. No better, no worse than anyone else. Just me. I've changed some things that I needed to, and maybe found things I still need to work on.
Thanks to those of you who have joined me on this journey - ready for the next page?
Monday, August 01, 2005
Happy August!
Monday again - yahoo. Or not. Let's see - weekend recap: Friday was a day off of work for me and the kiddos and I went to visit my grandmother - whose hobby is spoiling us! She bought school supplies - wow! Big hugs!
Saturday, we hung out at home, and visited with a friend who had come into town to help celebrate our pastor's 25th anniversary. She's always so fun to have around! Saturday evening I went to a get-together of some of the other out-of-towners - lots of laughter and reminiscing!
Sunday was church at the park. The body honored Larry for his service and we had a good time fellowshipping and renewing friendships.
I was most anxious to see my friend who came over Saturday this weekend, as well as our former college minister and his wife. It has been a LOOOOONG time since I had seen them. I have to confess, I was a little disappointed when I had to introduce myself to them. They had such an influence and impact on me, and although I am guilty of not keeping in touch with them, I have often thought about them and prayed for them. I guess they didn't realize the size of the footprints they left in my life. Just goes to show ya! Sunday after church, she apologized profusely for not having recognized me, but told me that she did remember me and gave me a big hug. Which really meant alot.
Blugs!
Saturday, we hung out at home, and visited with a friend who had come into town to help celebrate our pastor's 25th anniversary. She's always so fun to have around! Saturday evening I went to a get-together of some of the other out-of-towners - lots of laughter and reminiscing!
Sunday was church at the park. The body honored Larry for his service and we had a good time fellowshipping and renewing friendships.
I was most anxious to see my friend who came over Saturday this weekend, as well as our former college minister and his wife. It has been a LOOOOONG time since I had seen them. I have to confess, I was a little disappointed when I had to introduce myself to them. They had such an influence and impact on me, and although I am guilty of not keeping in touch with them, I have often thought about them and prayed for them. I guess they didn't realize the size of the footprints they left in my life. Just goes to show ya! Sunday after church, she apologized profusely for not having recognized me, but told me that she did remember me and gave me a big hug. Which really meant alot.
Blugs!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Not feeling like creamed corn - how's about creamed spinach, or...?
Well, it's Thursday. Things have been moving along. I'm off tomorrow (hooray!) and thinking about heading to my hometown.
I've been getting information about my next high school reunion - which is this fall. It's been really interesting to hit the website and see what people have been up to. Thanks to the site, I don't really feel that I have to attend the actual reunion! Sweet!
Speaking of reunions, we're having one at church this weekend - sort of. I'm so looking forward to seeing people from 'back in the day.' My friend Diane and her family will be coming back - can't wait for girl talk!!
In stitching news, I've finished 8 out of 12 freebie month patterns. Ideally, I want to fix them so I can switch them in and out of frames - not have 12 framed pieces rattling around. We'll see. I've made my wish list for patterns that I would LOVE to stitch (bored at work one day) and have been cruising ebay (bad girl!) - actually picked up a couple. I've been a good girl, though! Started kitting out a couple of projects last night that I'm looking forward to doing. Don't know if I'll get to them real soon, though.
Have a good day!
I've been getting information about my next high school reunion - which is this fall. It's been really interesting to hit the website and see what people have been up to. Thanks to the site, I don't really feel that I have to attend the actual reunion! Sweet!
Speaking of reunions, we're having one at church this weekend - sort of. I'm so looking forward to seeing people from 'back in the day.' My friend Diane and her family will be coming back - can't wait for girl talk!!
In stitching news, I've finished 8 out of 12 freebie month patterns. Ideally, I want to fix them so I can switch them in and out of frames - not have 12 framed pieces rattling around. We'll see. I've made my wish list for patterns that I would LOVE to stitch (bored at work one day) and have been cruising ebay (bad girl!) - actually picked up a couple. I've been a good girl, though! Started kitting out a couple of projects last night that I'm looking forward to doing. Don't know if I'll get to them real soon, though.
Have a good day!
Monday, July 25, 2005
Monday
So. The weekend.
Watched the one year old niece Saturday morning. DH went to the blues festival Saturday afternoon with his mom and sister. Said he had a great time.
Sunday we stayed home. All day. No church, as those of you who read DH's blog may have known. Just cleaned and did laundry and chilled (and stitched.) And, you know, it was nice. Got to reconnect with the family. Did a quick study in James with DH and the boys.
Today, yes, while at work, tried to work on decorating themes for the craft auction this fall. Any supplemental ideas greatly appreciated!
And now. It's Monday evening, and I've just caught up with DH's day, and his new blog entry. Wow. He said his day was good, and he was able to get with Mark today. Man, I miss him and Co! As for DH's blog entry - well, to be honest, I just want to sit here and cry. I know he's hurting so much about this, and I just feel like there's nothing I can do to fix it. I love my church, imperfect as it may be. I know he loves the body here. He wants to do so much, but doesn't feel like he can. I don't know. I am doing my best to support him in his struggles, but I don't know if I'm helping or hindering. He has repeatedly told me that he isn't asking me to leave our church, and I truly believe he means that. I don't want to leave, but if he decides to go somewhere else, I'm not sure I'm going to know how to 'do' that.
...asking for prayers...Thanks!
Watched the one year old niece Saturday morning. DH went to the blues festival Saturday afternoon with his mom and sister. Said he had a great time.
Sunday we stayed home. All day. No church, as those of you who read DH's blog may have known. Just cleaned and did laundry and chilled (and stitched.) And, you know, it was nice. Got to reconnect with the family. Did a quick study in James with DH and the boys.
Today, yes, while at work, tried to work on decorating themes for the craft auction this fall. Any supplemental ideas greatly appreciated!
And now. It's Monday evening, and I've just caught up with DH's day, and his new blog entry. Wow. He said his day was good, and he was able to get with Mark today. Man, I miss him and Co! As for DH's blog entry - well, to be honest, I just want to sit here and cry. I know he's hurting so much about this, and I just feel like there's nothing I can do to fix it. I love my church, imperfect as it may be. I know he loves the body here. He wants to do so much, but doesn't feel like he can. I don't know. I am doing my best to support him in his struggles, but I don't know if I'm helping or hindering. He has repeatedly told me that he isn't asking me to leave our church, and I truly believe he means that. I don't want to leave, but if he decides to go somewhere else, I'm not sure I'm going to know how to 'do' that.
...asking for prayers...Thanks!
Friday, July 22, 2005
*insert pithy title here*
I've been following (lurking) a blog (actually, a few blogs) that deal with women's journeys through infertility. It's run me through a rainbow of emotions: sorrow, jubilation, anger - everything. They are heart-wrenching in their honesty. I couldn't imagine their struggles.
It's made me so grateful that my kids are healthy and that we had little or no trouble with conception/pregnancy. "I need to go home and really, truly appreciate my kiddos," I thought. So I resolved to do just that.
...umm...and then reality hits, and I am a screaming banshee! And it's directed at my poor kids - the very ones I promised myself I would hug and cherish. Ugh. Why? Why do I do that!?! I know it's me being selfish, but it's like I can't stop!
So, boys, I am sorry. I really do love you and am so grateful for you! I can't imagine life without you two! ...even (maybe especially) when it seems that I'm a crazy woman...
It's made me so grateful that my kids are healthy and that we had little or no trouble with conception/pregnancy. "I need to go home and really, truly appreciate my kiddos," I thought. So I resolved to do just that.
...umm...and then reality hits, and I am a screaming banshee! And it's directed at my poor kids - the very ones I promised myself I would hug and cherish. Ugh. Why? Why do I do that!?! I know it's me being selfish, but it's like I can't stop!
So, boys, I am sorry. I really do love you and am so grateful for you! I can't imagine life without you two! ...even (maybe especially) when it seems that I'm a crazy woman...
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The sounds of silence
Wow! It sure is quiet out here in my little corner of Blogville! Helloooo...helloooo...helloooo...
Guess everyone's as busy or tired or (insert term here) as I am!
Slept last night - wahoo! Did a bible study with family last night - wahoo! Life proceeding on course, as far as I can see anyway...
Decided can't pull off Zoe this year, so I guess the craft auction can have me for another year.
Please keep the doin's at my office in mind as you pray today. 'Not nice boss' is being a real, well, um, you know - to friend boss. Stress levels rising dangerously. Thanks!
Take care everyone!
Guess everyone's as busy or tired or (insert term here) as I am!
Slept last night - wahoo! Did a bible study with family last night - wahoo! Life proceeding on course, as far as I can see anyway...
Decided can't pull off Zoe this year, so I guess the craft auction can have me for another year.
Please keep the doin's at my office in mind as you pray today. 'Not nice boss' is being a real, well, um, you know - to friend boss. Stress levels rising dangerously. Thanks!
Take care everyone!
Monday, July 18, 2005
More mindless drivel...
...cuz I'm really tired!
Okay:
Choose a letter and list ten items below that begin with the letter you chose...
I choose "B"
1. name a family member: Butch - just don't call him that to his face!
2. name a movie: Bad News Bears - for some reason, the kiddos really want to see this - don't think so...
3. name a game: Balderdash - lots of memories playing this after holiday dinners with my family
4. name an automobile: Bonneville - my mom's company car for YEARS
5. name a fictional character: Barney Miller - the character we couldn't figure out at DH's mom's birthday party was Nick
6. name a famous person: Barbra Streisand - love it when the movie channels start showing Hello Dolly! and Funny Girl/Lady
7. name a food: bratwurst - would love to have grilled brats straight out of their beer hot tub for supper tonight!
8. name a household item: boxer shorts - gimme a break - I'm going on about 2 hours of sleep! :)
9. name a book: Berenstain Bears - not my favorite - but maybe I get double points...?
10. name a song: Blue Bayou - this would be my mother's influence (and double points again!)
Okay:
Choose a letter and list ten items below that begin with the letter you chose...
I choose "B"
1. name a family member: Butch - just don't call him that to his face!
2. name a movie: Bad News Bears - for some reason, the kiddos really want to see this - don't think so...
3. name a game: Balderdash - lots of memories playing this after holiday dinners with my family
4. name an automobile: Bonneville - my mom's company car for YEARS
5. name a fictional character: Barney Miller - the character we couldn't figure out at DH's mom's birthday party was Nick
6. name a famous person: Barbra Streisand - love it when the movie channels start showing Hello Dolly! and Funny Girl/Lady
7. name a food: bratwurst - would love to have grilled brats straight out of their beer hot tub for supper tonight!
8. name a household item: boxer shorts - gimme a break - I'm going on about 2 hours of sleep! :)
9. name a book: Berenstain Bears - not my favorite - but maybe I get double points...?
10. name a song: Blue Bayou - this would be my mother's influence (and double points again!)
Friday, July 15, 2005
Find a happy place! Find a happy place!
As I was meandering my way to DH's station yesterday (yeah, okay, so I forgot where he was and tried to go to the wrong one - leave me alone!), I came upon a house which nearly epitomizes my 'happy place.' It was an unpretentious little house, but the front porch is what caught my attention. It was light and airy, with white wicker and ferns. I don't know what it is about those two particular items together, but I love 'em! I could imagine myself sitting on that porch, in that wicker chair, next to those ferns, cold glass of lemonade on the table, stitching away to my heart's content - no phones, no TV, no stress! The kids getting along, the dog not running away, DH happy and content. And not stitching just anything, mind you! Stitching one of those big beautiful Miribilia designs, or a Teresa Wentzler, or a Just Nan, or maybe a Lavendar and Lace - with all the supplies I could ever need right at hand. Ahhh... Okay, I'll stop - I'm drooling on my keyboard!
How much more wonderful will heaven be?
How much more wonderful will heaven be?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
A...B...C
I know my recent posts haven't exactly been earth-shatteringly deep or meaningful, or, heck, even interesting - but hey, that's kinda where I am right now...
So. On with today's creamed corn...
A is for age: 38
B is for booze: Fuzzy Berry
C is for career: litigation coordinator (sounds a lot more impressive than it is!)
D is for dad's name: Danin
E is for essential item to bring to a party: whatever the host/hostess requests, I guess
F is for favorite songs at the moment: wow - lots right now
G is for goof off thing to do: cross stitch or TV (evidently, I have very eclectic viewing trends...)
H is for hometown: *sigh* small town, Illinois
I is for instrument you play: took piano for a number of years, but haven't played in a long time!
J is for jam or jelly you like: anything with the word 'berry'
K is for kids: 2
L is for living arrangements: DH and kiddos and dawg
M is for mom's name: Ellen
N is for name of good friend: JL
O is for overnight stays in hospital: 2 - both for births
P is for phobias: small spaces, and I'm not real crazy about heights
Q is for quotes you like: Psalm 27:4, Psalm 104:33
R is for longest relationship: current with DH - nearly 13 years of marriage
S is for siblings: none, nada, zero, zip
T is for Texas: father-in-law lives there, and now some very dear friends do too
U is for unique traits: umm...
V is for vegetables that you love: sweet potatoes, sweet corn (hmmm - sensing a trend...)
W is for worst trait: lazy
X is for X-rays you've had: sprained ankle in high school, couple of times for pneumonia
Y is for yummy food you make: I make a mean broiled chicken breast; german pancake
Z is for zodiac sign: gemini
So. On with today's creamed corn...
A is for age: 38
B is for booze: Fuzzy Berry
C is for career: litigation coordinator (sounds a lot more impressive than it is!)
D is for dad's name: Danin
E is for essential item to bring to a party: whatever the host/hostess requests, I guess
F is for favorite songs at the moment: wow - lots right now
G is for goof off thing to do: cross stitch or TV (evidently, I have very eclectic viewing trends...)
H is for hometown: *sigh* small town, Illinois
I is for instrument you play: took piano for a number of years, but haven't played in a long time!
J is for jam or jelly you like: anything with the word 'berry'
K is for kids: 2
L is for living arrangements: DH and kiddos and dawg
M is for mom's name: Ellen
N is for name of good friend: JL
O is for overnight stays in hospital: 2 - both for births
P is for phobias: small spaces, and I'm not real crazy about heights
Q is for quotes you like: Psalm 27:4, Psalm 104:33
R is for longest relationship: current with DH - nearly 13 years of marriage
S is for siblings: none, nada, zero, zip
T is for Texas: father-in-law lives there, and now some very dear friends do too
U is for unique traits: umm...
V is for vegetables that you love: sweet potatoes, sweet corn (hmmm - sensing a trend...)
W is for worst trait: lazy
X is for X-rays you've had: sprained ankle in high school, couple of times for pneumonia
Y is for yummy food you make: I make a mean broiled chicken breast; german pancake
Z is for zodiac sign: gemini
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Gimme another 5!
5 things I miss most about my childhood:
-Anticipating Christmas - nowadays, it seems that the pressure to make it memorable and 'perfect' (which I know is not the point) has stripped the joy
-Summer vacation - I could do with three months off of work every year...
-Playing - leaving the house in the morning and not coming home til dark - with no worries!
-Imagination - all the countless times we invented our own games, or made up stories, or our own secret clubs that met in the 'jungle' in the backyard
-Innocence - my kids know more about the world than I ever thought about at their age
-Anticipating Christmas - nowadays, it seems that the pressure to make it memorable and 'perfect' (which I know is not the point) has stripped the joy
-Summer vacation - I could do with three months off of work every year...
-Playing - leaving the house in the morning and not coming home til dark - with no worries!
-Imagination - all the countless times we invented our own games, or made up stories, or our own secret clubs that met in the 'jungle' in the backyard
-Innocence - my kids know more about the world than I ever thought about at their age
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Gimme 5!
Thanks to Karen for this...
5 snacks I enjoy:
fruit
'designer' ice cream
cereal
trail mix
Jelly Bellys
5 songs I know all the words to:
wow - um...probably almost any of the praise and worship songs we do for church - unless of course we're actually up front trying to sing...
5 things I would do with $100,000,000:
pay off our debts
college for the kiddos
5 locations I would love to run away to:
The UK - doesn't matter where
Hilton Head Island, SC
Charleston, SC
Kentucky/Tennessee
Alaska
5 things I like doing:
singing
reading
cross stitching
watching old movies
talking to DH
5 things I would never wear:
spandex
short shorts
scuba suit
snow skis
metal on my face
5 recently seen movies:
Hello Dolly! (just last night, as a matter of fact)
Are We There Yet?
Breakfast Club
Sixteen Candles (one of my favorite stations has a thing for Molly Ringwald right now)
Star Wars 3
5 famous people I'd like to meet:
Paul McCartney
Darlene Zschech
Paula Deen
Frank Bialec
Michael Crawford
5 biggest joys of the moment:
family (including the dawg)
praise team practice
a fast computer (here at work, anyway!)
watching DH grow in his faith
RAIN
5 favorite toys:
dominos
Cranium game
the dawg aka Fuzzbutt
computer
the remote
How about you?
5 snacks I enjoy:
fruit
'designer' ice cream
cereal
trail mix
Jelly Bellys
5 songs I know all the words to:
wow - um...probably almost any of the praise and worship songs we do for church - unless of course we're actually up front trying to sing...
5 things I would do with $100,000,000:
pay off our debts
college for the kiddos
spoil DH
indulge my cross stitch stash habit
travel5 locations I would love to run away to:
The UK - doesn't matter where
Hilton Head Island, SC
Charleston, SC
Kentucky/Tennessee
Alaska
5 things I like doing:
singing
reading
cross stitching
watching old movies
talking to DH
5 things I would never wear:
spandex
short shorts
scuba suit
snow skis
metal on my face
5 recently seen movies:
Hello Dolly! (just last night, as a matter of fact)
Are We There Yet?
Breakfast Club
Sixteen Candles (one of my favorite stations has a thing for Molly Ringwald right now)
Star Wars 3
5 famous people I'd like to meet:
Paul McCartney
Darlene Zschech
Paula Deen
Frank Bialec
Michael Crawford
5 biggest joys of the moment:
family (including the dawg)
praise team practice
a fast computer (here at work, anyway!)
watching DH grow in his faith
RAIN
5 favorite toys:
dominos
Cranium game
the dawg aka Fuzzbutt
computer
the remote
How about you?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Stuck like glue
Well, if nothing else, DH's recent post certainly opened some lines of communication! There was a veritable revolving door on my house last night!
______________________________________________
Last night at the supper table (finally), DS1 announced that he had a very important question to ask us. He puffed up his chest in a very self-important manner, and asked "When did you attach yourself to Christ?"
"You mean, when did we become christians?"
"Yeah, that."
So, DH and I grinned at his word choice, and then gave him an abbreviated version of our testimonies. DS1 said that they asked all their camp counselors that at FCA sports camp last week.
But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered. Have I really 'attached' myself to Christ? I pictured a sticky sandbur. Have I given up everything I know and am I clinging to Him for dear life, knowing that without Him there is no hope for me? Or picture superglue. Is my attachment to Him such that I have become bonded at the deepest level? Or perhaps a frightened toddler. In my eagerness to be near Him, am I in a position to nearly knock Him over in my desperation?
What if my attachment is more like a post-it note? Convenient, and long-lasting, but eventually fading with time and effort. Or perhaps like an allegiance to a trendy cause, the fervor dying away when the cause becomes unnecessary or unpopular.
What's your attachment?
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Vengeance is mine, saith the wife
Yep. Got DH. Had a surprise party for him this weekend. Mwahaha...
I'm struggling with some stuff right now, and, once again, I can't hide my feelings. So, I was not Miss Perky Sunday morning. Sorry PT! Still struggling, but getting better at hiding it.
And as a side note to Beaner - DH asked me to make a run for pork rinds last night - and I blame you! :D
I'm struggling with some stuff right now, and, once again, I can't hide my feelings. So, I was not Miss Perky Sunday morning. Sorry PT! Still struggling, but getting better at hiding it.
And as a side note to Beaner - DH asked me to make a run for pork rinds last night - and I blame you! :D
Friday, June 24, 2005
Thanx!
Thanks for everyone's encouraging words! (And yeah, I know it's just a modem...thanks honey!) It was just a temporary slump - headache, stress, busy-crazy, single parenting, yada yada yada. I'll be fine. Just need to focus on the good stuff!
Anyhoo - the friend boss is gone today and will be on into next week. So, the stress will continue. I'm terrified that one of her clients will call and I'll be left floundering with no idea how to help them! She also is the administrator for their web-site and all that entails - and, well, I'm clueless about all that! Another disadvantage to her being gone is that the yucky boss will be sticking close to the office. *sigh* And as much as he thinks he knows what goes on around here - he is truly out of the loop.
And. On top of that, I've just realized that DS2's birthday is in 11 (!) days - and I have nothing planned. Crud! I think we'll be having his party the weekend after his birthday, so I have a little more time, but sheesh - his birthday creeps up on me FAST! And if I'm not mistaken, we're having people over for a cookout on the Fourth - so there's cleaning and planning and decorating to do.
I'm feeling a little unorganized about the whole school thing too. I usually have all the important dates organized on my calendar by now, and I don't yet, and to be honest, it's freaking me out. Especially with DS1 starting a new school in the fall. I know I still have time to do everything - I'm usually just a bit more organized than this. I think I'll put that project at the top of my priority list this weekend.
Lord, give me peace and patience. Let me hear You whisper to me. Help me not be distracted from what's truly important. Remind me that I only have to do my best - nothing more.
Anyhoo - the friend boss is gone today and will be on into next week. So, the stress will continue. I'm terrified that one of her clients will call and I'll be left floundering with no idea how to help them! She also is the administrator for their web-site and all that entails - and, well, I'm clueless about all that! Another disadvantage to her being gone is that the yucky boss will be sticking close to the office. *sigh* And as much as he thinks he knows what goes on around here - he is truly out of the loop.
And. On top of that, I've just realized that DS2's birthday is in 11 (!) days - and I have nothing planned. Crud! I think we'll be having his party the weekend after his birthday, so I have a little more time, but sheesh - his birthday creeps up on me FAST! And if I'm not mistaken, we're having people over for a cookout on the Fourth - so there's cleaning and planning and decorating to do.
I'm feeling a little unorganized about the whole school thing too. I usually have all the important dates organized on my calendar by now, and I don't yet, and to be honest, it's freaking me out. Especially with DS1 starting a new school in the fall. I know I still have time to do everything - I'm usually just a bit more organized than this. I think I'll put that project at the top of my priority list this weekend.
Lord, give me peace and patience. Let me hear You whisper to me. Help me not be distracted from what's truly important. Remind me that I only have to do my best - nothing more.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Can't win for losing
Okay, my self-pity/lack of self-esteem demon is getting a workout today.
Ever have one of those days when you try to do something right, you think you're doing something good, and it blows up in your face? Everything just goes all pear-shaped.
And you end up in a bigger mess than when you started. Ugh. All of which sends me on some sort of downward spiral - you can't do anything right, you're worthless, why are you even here, you don't even count at this school, etc.
I'm not looking for pity or anything. Just putting it out there.
Ever have one of those days when you try to do something right, you think you're doing something good, and it blows up in your face? Everything just goes all pear-shaped.
And you end up in a bigger mess than when you started. Ugh. All of which sends me on some sort of downward spiral - you can't do anything right, you're worthless, why are you even here, you don't even count at this school, etc.
I'm not looking for pity or anything. Just putting it out there.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Weekend Highlights
FRIDAY
* Day off!
* Long lost family in town
* Meeting with troubled friend - and we were both laughing when he left
SATURDAY
* Family, family, and more family
* Quo's famous spaghetti
* Fishing
* Sunburn
* Ribs, chicken, macaroni salad - reunion food rocks!
SUNDAY
* Happy Father's Day
* Baseball game
* Cheap seats
* Watching DH and kiddos play ball and run the bases at the ball field
* Player autographs! On EVERYTHING!
* More sunburn
I need another day off to recover! And to heal - sunburn is killing me!
* Day off!
* Long lost family in town
* Meeting with troubled friend - and we were both laughing when he left
SATURDAY
* Family, family, and more family
* Quo's famous spaghetti
* Fishing
* Sunburn
* Ribs, chicken, macaroni salad - reunion food rocks!
SUNDAY
* Happy Father's Day
* Baseball game
* Cheap seats
* Watching DH and kiddos play ball and run the bases at the ball field
* Player autographs! On EVERYTHING!
* More sunburn
I need another day off to recover! And to heal - sunburn is killing me!
Monday, June 20, 2005
Happy Birthday!
Today is my husband's birthday. He is such a joy to have in my life! I know I am truly blessed by having him around!
He is terrific with the kiddos - much more willing to go out and throw the ball around than I tend to be! I know they will look back and thank him for all he did for them, and consider him to be their hero and inspiration.
He's an awesome cook! Yes - TRULY blessed - I know! It's such a relief to come home and find dinner waiting - you have no idea! I'll gladly do dishes for such a treat! And he enjoys doing it!
He's a servant. He will go the extra mile for anyone who asks.
He's my best friend. He's there to challenge me when I need it, and he's not afraid to tell me hard things when I need to hear them. He's my biggest supporter and fan. He listens to my fears and hopes and dreams.
He's my fountain of youth. He keeps me young because he's young at heart. He encourages me to lighten up when he sees I'm being far too serious!
He's a hero - and not just because of the job! He provides for his family, keeps us grounded, calls us higher and urges us to be our best. And if that's not a hero...!
I am a lucky woman to have you in my life, sweetie! I love you! Happy birthday!
He is terrific with the kiddos - much more willing to go out and throw the ball around than I tend to be! I know they will look back and thank him for all he did for them, and consider him to be their hero and inspiration.
He's an awesome cook! Yes - TRULY blessed - I know! It's such a relief to come home and find dinner waiting - you have no idea! I'll gladly do dishes for such a treat! And he enjoys doing it!
He's a servant. He will go the extra mile for anyone who asks.
He's my best friend. He's there to challenge me when I need it, and he's not afraid to tell me hard things when I need to hear them. He's my biggest supporter and fan. He listens to my fears and hopes and dreams.
He's my fountain of youth. He keeps me young because he's young at heart. He encourages me to lighten up when he sees I'm being far too serious!
He's a hero - and not just because of the job! He provides for his family, keeps us grounded, calls us higher and urges us to be our best. And if that's not a hero...!
I am a lucky woman to have you in my life, sweetie! I love you! Happy birthday!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Thursday
I have to admit that I have a great sense of relief. Last night at church, we were able to encourage and embrace the fourth party in the situation here. We got to shower her with love and acceptance and forgiveness, and I am so glad! I'm glad she was there, that she was able to go before the body, and accept what we were longing to give her.
I know God is working here at Northside! It's amazing to see how this body of believers has pulled together and rallied around those who are hurting.
Lord, please continue to work here. Continue to pour out Your grace and love and comfort. Let healing begin!
I know God is working here at Northside! It's amazing to see how this body of believers has pulled together and rallied around those who are hurting.
Lord, please continue to work here. Continue to pour out Your grace and love and comfort. Let healing begin!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Come, Lord Jesus
Sometimes I just ache for Jesus to come back! I want Him to return and save me and those I love from the pain of everyday life. Isn't pain avoidance a legitimate defense mechanism? Or is my prayer a cop-out?
As I was working on my Christmas gifts last night, I came across a quote which, well, to be honest, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. "Much of what [God] allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up!"
I'm not sure if this is a helping thing for me today or not. I kind of understand the idea behind the statement, but it doesn't make things easier to bear.
As I was working on my Christmas gifts last night, I came across a quote which, well, to be honest, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. "Much of what [God] allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up!"
I'm not sure if this is a helping thing for me today or not. I kind of understand the idea behind the statement, but it doesn't make things easier to bear.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Storms
We had some pretty heavy thunderstorms roll through the area last night. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it rained a bit Sunday too. Just seems like the heavens are weeping. I know that sounds melodramatic and overblown, but it's just the mood. I'm always fascinated by storms, and after it was over last night, I stepped out on the deck looking at the clouds. The light was so odd. It was that weird, otherworldly yellow-sepia tone in the sky that makes everything and everyone look jaundiced. And everything was so still. The birds hadn't restarted their songs yet. Everyone was still inside, protected. Everyone but my family. We all stepped out and saw the most beautiful full rainbow. All of us just stood and watched the clouds move through the rainbow. The breeze was cool and refreshing. Restorative after the heat of the day. A tonic. The clouds shifted, the earth turned, and the rainbow started to fade quickly. The breezes blew, the sun moved and the rainbow returned, brighter than before.
DH and I just watched in awe. He leaned over and said quietly, "I hope they saw that."
Me, too.
Lord, please keep pouring out Your love! Give us strength, peace and rest. Please let the healing begin!
DH and I just watched in awe. He leaned over and said quietly, "I hope they saw that."
Me, too.
Lord, please keep pouring out Your love! Give us strength, peace and rest. Please let the healing begin!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Sunday
I have never - NEVER - seen bravery and humility and love and Jesus like I did today. In the midst of the pain, He began healing. In the midst of anger, He brought love. This has been a really hard time, but I pray this is the beginning of reconciliation and healing. Please continue to be on your knees for our church family and individuals.
Thank You Lord! Please continue to cover them and protect them!!!
Thank You Lord! Please continue to cover them and protect them!!!
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Desperately in need of prayer covering!
Blog family, I covet your prayers for a situation here. Please pray for restoration, reconciliation, forgiveness, healing and strength. I don't want to get into the reasons for the need for you to be on your knees - that's not my place. Just, please - PLEASE - be praying for our church family.
Lord, sometimes it's hard to find You. I don't understand why these things happen. I'm sick at heart. I just wish things were right. Lord, be with us as a church. Be with us as individuals. If understanding can't be given to us, then let us at least draw together.
Lord, sometimes it's hard to find You. I don't understand why these things happen. I'm sick at heart. I just wish things were right. Lord, be with us as a church. Be with us as individuals. If understanding can't be given to us, then let us at least draw together.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Back for a quick question
Do you believe anticipation is worse than the actual unpleasant event? I mean, if you have to do something or experience something decidedly un-fun, is waiting for that time worse than actually doing/experiencing it? Granted, execution is probably an exception to this hypothetical-osity-ness...
Just wonderin'...
Just wonderin'...
Thursday
Thursday again. I feel like I'm just now getting caught up at work. Ugh. I just keep plugging away...
Don't hate me, but I've started working on Christmas gifts. Only about 200 days until Christmas for those of you who are counting...!
Oops - gotta go - boss just walked in...Buh bye! Have a good day!
Don't hate me, but I've started working on Christmas gifts. Only about 200 days until Christmas for those of you who are counting...!
Oops - gotta go - boss just walked in...Buh bye! Have a good day!
Monday, June 06, 2005
Back to the salt mines...
Well, last week was great! Vacations are usually terrific, and though we didn't do anything 'special' or anything, I know I had a great time! Monday, of course, was the cookout/surprise birthday party thing; Tuesday - well, to be honest, we recovered! Wednesday I took the kiddos to see Star Wars; Thursday we went to Peoria; Friday - off to Chicago for the day. Saturday I went to see family, while DH and the kids went bowling and then over to see his family in the evening. And Sunday, we recovered - again!
Then today - work - ugh. I really tried to have a good attitude about coming in today. And I think I succeeded. (Getting the brain started again this morning was a little tough, but I did it!) But all the stuff piled up is really starting to get to me. So, I decided to go into denial and blog a bit.
I admit that I did miss my work computer last week! I have all my daily blog reading available at the click of my mouse, instead of having to type the addresses in one at a time. I guess I never realized how many blogs I actually read in a day. Sheesh! So, while I didn't do much writing or commenting last week, I did read!
Take it easy, folks - I know I am! lol!
Then today - work - ugh. I really tried to have a good attitude about coming in today. And I think I succeeded. (Getting the brain started again this morning was a little tough, but I did it!) But all the stuff piled up is really starting to get to me. So, I decided to go into denial and blog a bit.
I admit that I did miss my work computer last week! I have all my daily blog reading available at the click of my mouse, instead of having to type the addresses in one at a time. I guess I never realized how many blogs I actually read in a day. Sheesh! So, while I didn't do much writing or commenting last week, I did read!
Take it easy, folks - I know I am! lol!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I got 'got'!
Well, I definitely was had! We had planned a cookout for Memorial Day and invited some of our favorite people for ribs, chicken, potato salad, banana pudding - the works! And we made it through Monday morning with all the requisite preparation - cooking, cleaning, etc. The first guests arrived and meat came off the grill, and I was busy in the house trying to keep up with the demand (the food was awesome - thanks everyone!) DH called me outside and proceeds to inform me that this was actually a surprise birthday party for me! What a sweetie!! This is the second surprise party he's been able to pull on me - and this time the kiddos actually kept it from me! I don't whether to be proud of them or concerned...lol! It was a wonderful time, and I had a ball!
Thank you honey, for all your hard work - and thank you friends for coming!
Thank you honey, for all your hard work - and thank you friends for coming!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Thursday
So why do people make such a big deal about birthdays? I mean, it's just another trip of the earth around the sun, another batch of seasons, another 365 days! 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. Bam! There goes another one! It's another 52 weeks of experience, of life. Another year of growth, hopefully spiritual growth. Why are we so hung up on numbers in our society? Weight, age, IQ points - all are quantitative measurements. What about the quality of the living? What about the joys experienced, the sorrows endured, the love shared, the friendship enjoyed? What about the beauty of a sunrise, the glory of a sunset? The innocence of a child's smile, the wisdom of a grandparent's story? Isn't the life you've lived and experienced worth far more than the number attached to your life span?
...or am I just trying to convince myself...?
On the domestic front - yes, that was DS1 on the local news describing in his inimitable way how it feels to have a firefighter for a father, with the smoke and flames rolling in the background. "It's scary. It just is, scary." Ah, this mother's heart is so proud! However, the English/Victorian Lit. major - hmmm - maybe not so much! Where are the WORDS?!? LOL! And for those who called and expressed their concern as to whether or not DH was at the scene, thank you! Yes, he was called in, and yes he was fighting the fire, and to be honest, I expect him to be there for awhile yet.
I have to admit that I drove as close to the scene as traffic would allow - note to self - DO. NOT. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN! It's really tough to see this seeminly chaotic scene with danger and destruction and know that your husband is somewhere in there. And I know he was loving every minute of it! He so rarely actually gets to see real flames - except in the grill! As a matter of fact, DH happened to see DS1&2 (Nutsy & Trigger, Thing1 & Thing2, Toejam & Earl - take yer pick!) and asked if I was with them. He was happy to hear that I was at home (they had gone with a friend and his mother and grandmother.) Wish I'd have stayed there!
...or am I just trying to convince myself...?
On the domestic front - yes, that was DS1 on the local news describing in his inimitable way how it feels to have a firefighter for a father, with the smoke and flames rolling in the background. "It's scary. It just is, scary." Ah, this mother's heart is so proud! However, the English/Victorian Lit. major - hmmm - maybe not so much! Where are the WORDS?!? LOL! And for those who called and expressed their concern as to whether or not DH was at the scene, thank you! Yes, he was called in, and yes he was fighting the fire, and to be honest, I expect him to be there for awhile yet.
I have to admit that I drove as close to the scene as traffic would allow - note to self - DO. NOT. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN! It's really tough to see this seeminly chaotic scene with danger and destruction and know that your husband is somewhere in there. And I know he was loving every minute of it! He so rarely actually gets to see real flames - except in the grill! As a matter of fact, DH happened to see DS1&2 (Nutsy & Trigger, Thing1 & Thing2, Toejam & Earl - take yer pick!) and asked if I was with them. He was happy to hear that I was at home (they had gone with a friend and his mother and grandmother.) Wish I'd have stayed there!
Monday, May 23, 2005
Angels and bugs
I got a call yesterday from my aunt and grandfather, stating that they were coming to town and hoping to drop by to see us. Of course, at the time they called, we were sitting in church. Wouldn't ya know it?! Fortunately, they stopped by on their way out of town, so I got to see them. My aunt, indeed, most of the women in the family (both sides) are/were involved in Job's Daughters - a masonic organization for girls. Currently, my aunt and grandfather are the adult leaders of the chapter in my home town, and my aunt is in line to be the big boss of the state in about two years. She has asked me to help her with some cross stitching for her term as GG, as soon as she finds the 'right' angel (her mascot.) Well, some of that surf time at work came in handy as I was able to direct her to a particular designer's website. Woohoo! We'll see what she thinks...
The boys and I watched the Crufts Dog Show last night. Wow - huge! However, I didn't see a Brit among the competitors. Speaking of dogs - ours is a goofball! Of the HIGHEST degree! His breed happens to point (only spaniel that does, so I'm told) and to watch him point while on the deck or looking out the front door is a riot! He absolutely WILL. NOT. MOVE. You can bug him, tease him, call him, anything - and he just stays like he is. Usually, he's watching a rabbit (his favorite!) or a chipmunk in the backyard, or birds in the front. Well, last night, I let him out for the last time of the night, and before he's at the steps of the deck, he starts pointing. And there I am, straining to see what the heck he's looking at. No, don't see a rabbit. No birds. No chipmunks. Nothing. DS1 crept up beside me and, after watching a few seconds, told me Wrigley was pointing at the lightning bugs! Sheesh!
The boys and I watched the Crufts Dog Show last night. Wow - huge! However, I didn't see a Brit among the competitors. Speaking of dogs - ours is a goofball! Of the HIGHEST degree! His breed happens to point (only spaniel that does, so I'm told) and to watch him point while on the deck or looking out the front door is a riot! He absolutely WILL. NOT. MOVE. You can bug him, tease him, call him, anything - and he just stays like he is. Usually, he's watching a rabbit (his favorite!) or a chipmunk in the backyard, or birds in the front. Well, last night, I let him out for the last time of the night, and before he's at the steps of the deck, he starts pointing. And there I am, straining to see what the heck he's looking at. No, don't see a rabbit. No birds. No chipmunks. Nothing. DS1 crept up beside me and, after watching a few seconds, told me Wrigley was pointing at the lightning bugs! Sheesh!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Friday
FRIDAY!! Woo-ha! Nothing much has been going on in my little world. I've been stitching again - which has been a real stress reliever for me. Not stitching anything huge or complicated. I found some freebie patterns of the months of the year - really small ones - but they're put out by a floss company. And of course, I can't find their floss in my local cross stitch shop, so I get to customize them when I kit them out. LOVE to do that!
The kiddos are nearly done with school for the year - happy and sad at the same time. Looking forward to having them home! Summer starts the birthday season for us, too, so I need to get on the ball planning some parties.
Today is Wrigley's birthday - and yes, looks like we'll be doing something for him - and this after I swore I wouldn't be one of those dog people! Oh well, he's worth it!
So. There ya go. Small town me and my small town life and small town thoughts of randomness...but I'm okay with that!
The kiddos are nearly done with school for the year - happy and sad at the same time. Looking forward to having them home! Summer starts the birthday season for us, too, so I need to get on the ball planning some parties.
Today is Wrigley's birthday - and yes, looks like we'll be doing something for him - and this after I swore I wouldn't be one of those dog people! Oh well, he's worth it!
So. There ya go. Small town me and my small town life and small town thoughts of randomness...but I'm okay with that!
Monday, May 16, 2005
From Captivating...
"You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved. You are sought after, pursued, romanced, the passionate desire of you Fiance, Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed...Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty...Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love."
I think what has affected me most about this book, and the 'Guidance' print mentioned in an earlier blog, is that, taken personally, they refer to me as a 'woman.' Now that might sound a bit odd, but bear with me. I went from being a 'child' (read: 'afterthought'), shuffled from pillar to post by a single mother, to being a 'roommate' in college and immediately after, to a 'girlfriend', 'fiancee', 'wife', and then to 'mommy.' I've never really stopped and thought of myself as 'woman' without these other labels. 'Woman' as a stand-alone entity. 'Woman' as worthy of respect. 'Woman' as having special, God-given talents and abilities.
Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not faulting my DH or DKs at all. I love my role and titles of wife and mother! I wouldn't trade my life for anything! And I know they love and respect me. But there's never been an opportunity to just be a 'woman'. I don't think I've ever even referred to myself that way. On various forms asking for gender, it limits the choice to 'male' and 'female'. Not 'man' or 'woman'. Even the term 'female' has a cold, clinical and sterile feel. Whereas 'woman' sounds warm and nurturing, creative and giving.
I don't know where I'm trying to go with this. Probably nowhere. It's just something that struck me and I felt I needed to get it written somewhere.
I think what has affected me most about this book, and the 'Guidance' print mentioned in an earlier blog, is that, taken personally, they refer to me as a 'woman.' Now that might sound a bit odd, but bear with me. I went from being a 'child' (read: 'afterthought'), shuffled from pillar to post by a single mother, to being a 'roommate' in college and immediately after, to a 'girlfriend', 'fiancee', 'wife', and then to 'mommy.' I've never really stopped and thought of myself as 'woman' without these other labels. 'Woman' as a stand-alone entity. 'Woman' as worthy of respect. 'Woman' as having special, God-given talents and abilities.
Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not faulting my DH or DKs at all. I love my role and titles of wife and mother! I wouldn't trade my life for anything! And I know they love and respect me. But there's never been an opportunity to just be a 'woman'. I don't think I've ever even referred to myself that way. On various forms asking for gender, it limits the choice to 'male' and 'female'. Not 'man' or 'woman'. Even the term 'female' has a cold, clinical and sterile feel. Whereas 'woman' sounds warm and nurturing, creative and giving.
I don't know where I'm trying to go with this. Probably nowhere. It's just something that struck me and I felt I needed to get it written somewhere.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Thursday
One of my co-workers gave his 3 day notice today. He starts a new job Monday. I'm going to miss him! He was so funny! But I understand - the fees weren't there, the drive was the pits, etc. So, see ya 'round, Sparky!
The book that DH and DKs got me for Mother's Day is by Stasi and John Eldredge (of Wild at Heart fame) and is called Captivating. And what Wild at Heart has done for a lot of the men I know, I believe Captivating will do for lots of women I know. It explores the questions in a woman's heart like the other book did for the a man's heart. I have found so many things I identify with in this book! I told DH last night that the women's ministry servant group should make this the theme for our women's retreat next year - and I haven't even finished the book yet! The only problems I can see are that a study guide would have to be constructed and that I don't think we could get through it in the limited time we have that weekend!
DS1 has his final elementary school music program tonight. Final, that is, if he actually can pass this grade! From what I've seen and heard of the program, it should be really cute - I know he's had a lot of fun doing it!
Well...back to work...
The book that DH and DKs got me for Mother's Day is by Stasi and John Eldredge (of Wild at Heart fame) and is called Captivating. And what Wild at Heart has done for a lot of the men I know, I believe Captivating will do for lots of women I know. It explores the questions in a woman's heart like the other book did for the a man's heart. I have found so many things I identify with in this book! I told DH last night that the women's ministry servant group should make this the theme for our women's retreat next year - and I haven't even finished the book yet! The only problems I can see are that a study guide would have to be constructed and that I don't think we could get through it in the limited time we have that weekend!
DS1 has his final elementary school music program tonight. Final, that is, if he actually can pass this grade! From what I've seen and heard of the program, it should be really cute - I know he's had a lot of fun doing it!
Well...back to work...
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Mem'ries...
...like the corners of my mind...la di da di da di daaa di
Sorry!
DS1 and I were doing some cleaning last night in anticipation of our Memorial Day cookout bash-type thing - never too early to do spring cleaning - lol! Anyway, we came across my junior high and high school yearbooks. So, of course, we had to take a break and peruse them. Riot! The funnest (is that a word?) part was reading all the signatures. "You're so sweet - stay that way" and "never forget the fun we had..." and "you'll go far in life 'cuz your so smart and funny" yada yada yada...
It was really bad when someone signed with a nickname of some sort, because I absolutely cannot remember these people's regular names, let alone nicknames! And then there were the people who signed my yearbooks and I don't remember EVER even talking to them, let alone knowing them well enough to garner sappy sentiments and signatures for posterity!
I'm so glad that Jesus won't ever forget me. And that the words He left for me to read will still ring true forever.
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... Isaiah 49:16a
...he remembers his covenant forever... Psalm 111:5
Sorry!
DS1 and I were doing some cleaning last night in anticipation of our Memorial Day cookout bash-type thing - never too early to do spring cleaning - lol! Anyway, we came across my junior high and high school yearbooks. So, of course, we had to take a break and peruse them. Riot! The funnest (is that a word?) part was reading all the signatures. "You're so sweet - stay that way" and "never forget the fun we had..." and "you'll go far in life 'cuz your so smart and funny" yada yada yada...
It was really bad when someone signed with a nickname of some sort, because I absolutely cannot remember these people's regular names, let alone nicknames! And then there were the people who signed my yearbooks and I don't remember EVER even talking to them, let alone knowing them well enough to garner sappy sentiments and signatures for posterity!
I'm so glad that Jesus won't ever forget me. And that the words He left for me to read will still ring true forever.
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... Isaiah 49:16a
...he remembers his covenant forever... Psalm 111:5
Monday, May 09, 2005
Happy Mother's Day
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
I got the sweetest hand-drawn cards from the kiddos - nothing better than that! And of course, DS1 always cracks me up when he signs things - 'from your loving son' - what ten year old talks like that?! DH got me a book that he didn't even know I wanted - he's good! And told me that the picture I blogged about will hopefully be coming to our house sometime soon - as soon as the store finds one for him. I didn't have to do dishes or laundry or anything! I got the remote ALL DAY! Pretty good Mother's Day!
I called my grandmother to wish her a HMD and make sure she got her card (and in a roundabout way - to make sure my mother got her card too.) What I wanna know is - where are the cards for dysfunctional families?! I mean, it's always been a problem especially for Mother's Day! "You've always been there for me, your unconditional love means the world to me, I couldn't have done it without you," blah blah blah. Come one - where are the cards that say "Thanks for the egg!" or "Thanks for the nine month rent-free accomodations" or "You were awesome when I was a kid, but recently..." Sorry if I sound a little bitter. Mother's Day just puts me in a bit of a snit.
So, I'll focus on how wonderful my day was and how much grammy loved her card and leave it at that.
I got the sweetest hand-drawn cards from the kiddos - nothing better than that! And of course, DS1 always cracks me up when he signs things - 'from your loving son' - what ten year old talks like that?! DH got me a book that he didn't even know I wanted - he's good! And told me that the picture I blogged about will hopefully be coming to our house sometime soon - as soon as the store finds one for him. I didn't have to do dishes or laundry or anything! I got the remote ALL DAY! Pretty good Mother's Day!
I called my grandmother to wish her a HMD and make sure she got her card (and in a roundabout way - to make sure my mother got her card too.) What I wanna know is - where are the cards for dysfunctional families?! I mean, it's always been a problem especially for Mother's Day! "You've always been there for me, your unconditional love means the world to me, I couldn't have done it without you," blah blah blah. Come one - where are the cards that say "Thanks for the egg!" or "Thanks for the nine month rent-free accomodations" or "You were awesome when I was a kid, but recently..." Sorry if I sound a little bitter. Mother's Day just puts me in a bit of a snit.
So, I'll focus on how wonderful my day was and how much grammy loved her card and leave it at that.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
What do YOU think?
Found this story on Fox News: (yes, I filter...)
California churchgoers called the cops on three strange men they thought were skin heads - but the bald trio turned out to be Marines looking for a buddy.
"They have short Marine haircuts, and someone perceives that they're skinheads, and that they were intimidating people," San Bernardino County sheriff's Sgt. Frank Gonzales told the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin of Ontario, Calif. "It turns out that was not the case, and they were very polite."
It all began April 24 at Spanish-language mass at St. Peter and St. Paul Roman Catholic Church in Rancho Cucamonga, about 40 miles east of Los Angeles.
During the service, three bald men in civilian clothes came in and sat down.
Before Mass had even finished, the three suddenly got up, walked to the front of the room, turned and faced the congregation in silence for a few moments - and then left.
"It was very disrespectful," said parishioner Aida Nordahl, who said she and her fellow congregants were put ill at ease.
The next Sunday, May 1, the three men came back, sitting among worshippers and talking to each other during Mass.
That's when someone in the congregation called the sheriff's department.
The three men told deputies that they'd just returned from service in Iraq and were looking for a friend they though might attend services at the church.
When they didn't see him in the congregation the first time, they came back a week later.
The Rev. Patrick Kirsch explained what had happened to relieved parishioners, and said he considered the matter closed.
"We don't want to make it more than it is," he said. "I was reassured by the police that [the men] wouldn't be back."
...just wanted to see what the blog family thinks about this story...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
It's WHAT...?!
I picked the kiddos up from school yesterday, and DS1 was sooo excited!
"Mom! Guesswhatprojectwe'redoinginschoolit'ssocooldoyouwannaknowwhatitisactuallyit'sprettygrossareyousureyouwannaknow?"
"Uh, do I have a choice?"
"No!"
He then proceeds to show me a ziploc baggie of what looked like dryer lint.
"Guess what this is!"
"Um..."
"Owl vomit!!"
Riiiiiight.
"And look at this!" He holds up a second ziploc bag full of something I wasn't quite sure I actually wanted to look at.
"Guess what this is!"
I don't think so.
"Mouse bones! Look! Here's a skull!"
Okay - driving now! Please put all that away and never bring it out in my presence EVER. AGAIN. Love you okay buh-bye!
So I guess my question is - where would one 'harvest' such a product? I mean, does one wander through the woods and happen to find small piles of dryer lint, and think - hey! I can gather this for distribution to elementary school students! Woo-ha! Cha-ching!
And for the record - yes, owl vomit does in fact smell terrible. Thanks for asking.
"Mom! Guesswhatprojectwe'redoinginschoolit'ssocooldoyouwannaknowwhatitisactuallyit'sprettygrossareyousureyouwannaknow?"
"Uh, do I have a choice?"
"No!"
He then proceeds to show me a ziploc baggie of what looked like dryer lint.
"Guess what this is!"
"Um..."
"Owl vomit!!"
Riiiiiight.
"And look at this!" He holds up a second ziploc bag full of something I wasn't quite sure I actually wanted to look at.
"Guess what this is!"
I don't think so.
"Mouse bones! Look! Here's a skull!"
Okay - driving now! Please put all that away and never bring it out in my presence EVER. AGAIN. Love you okay buh-bye!
So I guess my question is - where would one 'harvest' such a product? I mean, does one wander through the woods and happen to find small piles of dryer lint, and think - hey! I can gather this for distribution to elementary school students! Woo-ha! Cha-ching!
And for the record - yes, owl vomit does in fact smell terrible. Thanks for asking.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
"Is there a problem?!" Sheesh!
Can I just say how much I detest when people are inconsiderate, rude, and downright selfish! Especially when it's someone you HAVE to be around! No avoidance! And then that person has the nerve to ask what's wrong!? Ugh! ...breathe in...breathe out... Okay - venting over - for now!
We're anxiously awaiting the results of DS1' s math test today. (Thanks, Kate!) We've been encouraging him to study harder and bring his grades up, because he doesn't have much time left this year. Don't know if he's going to make it in time!
The office manager has been gone the last two days and so I've been covering her work as well as my own, so this won't be very long (or very interesting, for that matter!) Just wanted to check in and say yes I'm still here somewhere - buried under paperwork and phone cords! lol!
Happy Tuesday!
We're anxiously awaiting the results of DS1' s math test today. (Thanks, Kate!) We've been encouraging him to study harder and bring his grades up, because he doesn't have much time left this year. Don't know if he's going to make it in time!
The office manager has been gone the last two days and so I've been covering her work as well as my own, so this won't be very long (or very interesting, for that matter!) Just wanted to check in and say yes I'm still here somewhere - buried under paperwork and phone cords! lol!
Happy Tuesday!
Friday, April 29, 2005
...if I...
Jettybetty has a list of questions to answer 'just fer fun' on her blog today - very bloggable questions...so here goes...
The questions: If I could be a scientist...if I could be a farmer...if I could be a musician...if I could be a doctor...if I could be a painter...if I could be a gardener...if I could be a missionary...if I could be a chef...if I could be an architect...if I could be a linguist...if I could be a psychologist...if I could be a librarian...if I could be an athlete...if I could be a lawyer...if I could be an inn-keeper...if I could be a professor...if I could be a writer...if I could be a llama-rider...if I could be a bonnie pirate...if I could be an astronaut...if I could be a world-famous blogger...if I could be a justice on any one court in the world...if I could be married to any current famous political figure...
So, I guess whatcha do is pick one or two or three of these and speculate away...!
The funny thing is, as I was typing the list, I kept wondering why I couldn't be one of these things. (And I know DH is applauding wildly at the idea of not limiting my thinking...!) I mean, I realize some of these are kinda out there, but some of them aren't. I'm not necessarily an astronaut or an architect, and I never ride my llama or sail my pirate ship in public, but as for the rest, yeah, I think I could or have done them all to some degree.
As a wife and mother.
And no, I don't want this to be one of those cutesy, smarmy, sappy mother's day things that always get forwarded in emails!
The questions: If I could be a scientist...if I could be a farmer...if I could be a musician...if I could be a doctor...if I could be a painter...if I could be a gardener...if I could be a missionary...if I could be a chef...if I could be an architect...if I could be a linguist...if I could be a psychologist...if I could be a librarian...if I could be an athlete...if I could be a lawyer...if I could be an inn-keeper...if I could be a professor...if I could be a writer...if I could be a llama-rider...if I could be a bonnie pirate...if I could be an astronaut...if I could be a world-famous blogger...if I could be a justice on any one court in the world...if I could be married to any current famous political figure...
So, I guess whatcha do is pick one or two or three of these and speculate away...!
The funny thing is, as I was typing the list, I kept wondering why I couldn't be one of these things. (And I know DH is applauding wildly at the idea of not limiting my thinking...!) I mean, I realize some of these are kinda out there, but some of them aren't. I'm not necessarily an astronaut or an architect, and I never ride my llama or sail my pirate ship in public, but as for the rest, yeah, I think I could or have done them all to some degree.
As a wife and mother.
And no, I don't want this to be one of those cutesy, smarmy, sappy mother's day things that always get forwarded in emails!
- But as a wife and mother, yes, I have been a doctor - and we need to buy stock in band-aids.
- I am a musician - specializing in lullabies.
- I've been known as a pretty mean finger painter in my time.
- Nothing is sweeter in my garden than marigolds presented by a grubby kindergartener.
- Chef? Well, okay, DH is more the chef than I am, but I can make a mean German pancake when the occasion calls for it!
- Anyone who can decipher that a toddler wants a cookie is a master linguist!
- Psychologist and lawyer kind of go hand in hand for anyone with more than one child. "Why did you hit your brother? How do you think that makes him feel? What should your punishment be?"
- Inn-keeper goes along with the chef-thing - somedays it feels like I run a B&B!
- Fourth grade math qualifies ANYONE as a professor these days!
- Athletic? Well, maybe not so much to look at me per se, but let my kids or DH get into trouble and the Flash has nuttin' on me!
- And as for a missionary, well that's pretty obvious. My mission field is in my own backyard.
Maybe not the answers sought, but that's what I got!
Happy weekend!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Yes, Lord
We got our latest catalog/flyer from our local christian bookstore yesterday. I usually peruse it looking for new music or novels - just to see what's out there. They also have lots of inspirational knick-knacks, etc, including pictures. Well, last night, one of the pictures stopped me cold. Not so much for the art, but for the words.
I read the first line and my heart started pounding and my soul cried out! Even with all the other stuff I've been dealing with, this - THIS - is the prayer and longing of my heart! I just didn't know how to say it.
Guidance
I am a woman who walks with the Lord.
His hand guides my steps.
He is the One who goes before me
and makes my way safe.
I am led with gentleness,
kindness and grace.
He sets the perfect pace.
My steps are steps of peace.
He is beside me as my Helper,
ahead of me as my Shield,
and behind me as my Protector.
He is the purpose of my journey,
and the destination I seek.
I read the first line and my heart started pounding and my soul cried out! Even with all the other stuff I've been dealing with, this - THIS - is the prayer and longing of my heart! I just didn't know how to say it.
Friday, April 22, 2005
prayer
Things went MUCH better last night with the kiddos! They worked together on art projects, and nary an argument was heard! Wahoo! I was able to get some rest, and didn't get blamed for it!
I've been talking to God a bit lately, again, whatever. Not too much in depth, but more like those quick 'popcorn' prayers - you know, you hear of someone's need and fire off and quick 'be with them, Lord' prayer. I'm still struggling a bit with getting 'down and dirty' with EVERYTHING in prayer, you know? This is going to sound odd, but I've been looking at the lives of some catholic saints - don't ask me why! And yes, I've been filtering...but it's been really hard for me to imagine the prayer lives of these people! Praying for days on end. I've never been a really strong 'prayer warrior' or anything like that, and to be honest, it concerns me. My attention wanders constantly, and I don't feel like I have any deep meaningful times with the Lord. And this isn't just recently - this has been since I've become a christian. Although if you ask DH, prayer is always my first reponse to him when he's facing difficulty: 'Did you pray about it?' 'Maybe this is something to take to God in prayer.' 'Let's pray. You first.'
Wow - this is so NOT what I was going to write about today!
Anyone else struggle with this?
I've been talking to God a bit lately, again, whatever. Not too much in depth, but more like those quick 'popcorn' prayers - you know, you hear of someone's need and fire off and quick 'be with them, Lord' prayer. I'm still struggling a bit with getting 'down and dirty' with EVERYTHING in prayer, you know? This is going to sound odd, but I've been looking at the lives of some catholic saints - don't ask me why! And yes, I've been filtering...but it's been really hard for me to imagine the prayer lives of these people! Praying for days on end. I've never been a really strong 'prayer warrior' or anything like that, and to be honest, it concerns me. My attention wanders constantly, and I don't feel like I have any deep meaningful times with the Lord. And this isn't just recently - this has been since I've become a christian. Although if you ask DH, prayer is always my first reponse to him when he's facing difficulty: 'Did you pray about it?' 'Maybe this is something to take to God in prayer.' 'Let's pray. You first.'
Wow - this is so NOT what I was going to write about today!
Anyone else struggle with this?
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Brother vs brother
Wow! This bronchitis has just been kicking my tail! I've just been exhausted! I'm barely getting done what absolutely HAS to be done some days. But the biaxin seems to be kicking in, and hope springs eternal for singing Sunday.
I went outside this morning and cut some lilacs to bring into the office - they're at their peak and GORGEOUS! Unfortunately, my only white lilac bush succumbed to a windstorm last year.
It's official! Not only have I blown Mother of the Year - this morning I blew the Lifetime Achievement Award too. I don't know what the deal is with these two creatures living in our home! It's like since I've been sick this week (which, according to DS1 is all my fault!) they've sensed a weakness in the parent herd and are moving in for the kill! Sheesh! This morning's battle was over those silly 'Live Strong'-esque bracelets. Evidently they were discussing a trade, and one changed his mind, and then chaos ensued with the younger going after the elder's throat at the breakfast table - aaarrrrggghhhh! Where are the Walton's when you need them?! So, the bracelets got tossed at DH's command - albeit temporarily - and that launched DS2's lament that nobody likes him. If they're like this at 8 & 10, what the heck am I going to do at 14 & 16?!?
Lord, please restore peace to our home!
I went outside this morning and cut some lilacs to bring into the office - they're at their peak and GORGEOUS! Unfortunately, my only white lilac bush succumbed to a windstorm last year.
It's official! Not only have I blown Mother of the Year - this morning I blew the Lifetime Achievement Award too. I don't know what the deal is with these two creatures living in our home! It's like since I've been sick this week (which, according to DS1 is all my fault!) they've sensed a weakness in the parent herd and are moving in for the kill! Sheesh! This morning's battle was over those silly 'Live Strong'-esque bracelets. Evidently they were discussing a trade, and one changed his mind, and then chaos ensued with the younger going after the elder's throat at the breakfast table - aaarrrrggghhhh! Where are the Walton's when you need them?! So, the bracelets got tossed at DH's command - albeit temporarily - and that launched DS2's lament that nobody likes him. If they're like this at 8 & 10, what the heck am I going to do at 14 & 16?!?
Lord, please restore peace to our home!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
prayer request
I've been following Karla Cadeau's pregnancy through her blog www.babycadeau.blogspot.com for awhile now. Unfortunately, Ava died soon after delivery due to a heart condition that the doctors thought was under control. Please pray for Karla and Mark as they are holding Ava's funeral tomorrow.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Monday, April 18, 2005
A report on Sunday...
Well, I made it through singing Sunday - and without my mask. Truthfully, I was far more concentrated on my physical well-being than my spiritual. Turns out I have acute bronchitis. Ugh. So, after lip-synching my way through a good portion of worship leading (thanks Deanie!) I came home and collapsed. Today meant a visit to my favorite Dr at the doc-in-a-box, who surprised me when he told me it not pneumonia - it is spring, after all. So, I'm home, and the kiddos are out of school, and I'm exhausted! Will try to sleep now. Have a good day, everyone...
Friday, April 15, 2005
Friday
Thanks to all of you! You've been so encouraging and understanding! I don't think my funk is quite as deep as it was earlier in the week...
I've not quite gotten to the point where I'm a happy peppy person again, but I'm getting there. I actually listened to some christian music today - something I haven't done in some time - which if you know me at all is waaaay out of character!
No offense, Fireguy, but I'm kinda looking forward to some down time tonight. Peace, quiet, time to think, reflect, and stitch (yes, I found a project that, for all intents and purposes is free!), and maybe even make more than a nodding acquaintance with God. We'll see.
I can't make any predictions or promises as to Sunday morning, and I may have to pull out my happy face mask for singing (I hope not!) but I'll be there.
I've not quite gotten to the point where I'm a happy peppy person again, but I'm getting there. I actually listened to some christian music today - something I haven't done in some time - which if you know me at all is waaaay out of character!
No offense, Fireguy, but I'm kinda looking forward to some down time tonight. Peace, quiet, time to think, reflect, and stitch (yes, I found a project that, for all intents and purposes is free!), and maybe even make more than a nodding acquaintance with God. We'll see.
I can't make any predictions or promises as to Sunday morning, and I may have to pull out my happy face mask for singing (I hope not!) but I'll be there.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
sorry
I need to apologize for tonight - if you read further, you'll understand why. So, sorry, Kate, Julie, Skip, Deanie, Jeff and Dwight. Just wasn't feelin' it tonight.
To Want To Want To
Sunday, a visiting woman in our class made the comment that sometimes all you can pray is to want to want to. I guess that reflects where I am right now. I'm struggling with just about everything. I've never really had my faith challenged or felt like I've been forced to examine my faith, and it's not a pleasant feeling! I feel like a rebellious child - something I've never been - and I know that God is there, and He loves me and is waiting for me to get my act together, and that is comforting, but right now, the rest of it doesn't feel like it's there, you know? I don't feel like I'm angry at God or anything - nothing has happened, really, that would 'justify' an anger. Maybe I'm just tired. Tired of putting up a front, or putting on a happy face, or...I don't know. I just feel spiritually numb right now. Prayers, when I say them, don't even make it to the ceiling, although I believe I meant them, as well as the ones I wrote here. Study is a chore to mark off my list. I just feel like I'm going through the motions, and while deep down I know this is temporary, and I know that I want to - I don't know - 'get better?', I don't feel an urgency to do that. Is this normal? Well, obviously probably not. Do I just need to stew for awhile, and then get back on track? Do I need to take a break? How would that even be possible? *sigh*
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
clarifying
Okay, maybe the depression example wasn't the best one to use. How about this? If I say I'm the Queen of England, dress like her (or not - ugh - those hats!), talk like her, believe I am her, that certainly doesn't give me the power to invade the Falklands, does it? I mean, I can say and act and believe all I want, but that don't make it so.
So, if someone is acting like a 'good christian' - saying the right things, promising to pray for your problems, serving the church, etc, and possibly believes they are a 'good christian'...but what if they don't feel it inside? Are they truly a 'gc'?
So, if someone is acting like a 'good christian' - saying the right things, promising to pray for your problems, serving the church, etc, and possibly believes they are a 'good christian'...but what if they don't feel it inside? Are they truly a 'gc'?
Baseball - a contact sport?
Well, DS1 has his first black eye. The neighborhood kids tend to gravitate to our back yard for baseball - which is fine perfectly fine with me! Last night, one of the girls was horsing around and started throwing sticks - one of which caught DS1 just below his right eye.
You know, I always pooh-pooh'd those people who said they couldn't handle the sight of their kids' blood. But I gained a new empathy for those people yesterday! He had blood all over his face and hands and was crying so, it would break your heart - mostly out of fear. But within probably ten minutes or so, he was back out talking to his friends, albeit with a cloth held up to his eye. This morning he looked like a young prizefighter - and boy, was he proud!
I'm interested in any opinions: Do you believe that if you act a certain way long enough or often enough that you will start to become that way? For example, if you suffer from depression, but you tell yourself to act happy, will you actually get happy? And can it be considered genuine?
You know, I always pooh-pooh'd those people who said they couldn't handle the sight of their kids' blood. But I gained a new empathy for those people yesterday! He had blood all over his face and hands and was crying so, it would break your heart - mostly out of fear. But within probably ten minutes or so, he was back out talking to his friends, albeit with a cloth held up to his eye. This morning he looked like a young prizefighter - and boy, was he proud!
I'm interested in any opinions: Do you believe that if you act a certain way long enough or often enough that you will start to become that way? For example, if you suffer from depression, but you tell yourself to act happy, will you actually get happy? And can it be considered genuine?
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Do you see what I see?
From Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What:
"In the Gospels, Jesus is always surrounded by the poor, by the marginalized. And, adversely, He is often opposed by the powerful. Not all the powerful, but those who oppose Him are almost always the people who are ahead in the lifeboat. In this way, Jesus disrupted the system by which people were gaining their false redemption."
Miller then goes on to quote Phillip Yancey from The Jesus I Never Knew:
"The more unsavory the characters, the more at ease they seemed to feel around Jesus. People like these found Jesus appealing: a Samaritan social outcast, a military officer of the tyrant Herod, a quisling tax collector, a recent hostess to seven demons. In contrast, Jesus got a chilly response from more respectable types. Pious Pharisees thought him uncouth and worldly, a rich young ruler walked away shaking his head, and even the open-minded Nicodemus sought a meeting under the cover of darkness. I [Yancey] remarked to the class how strange this pattern seemed, since the Christian church now attracts respectable types who closely resemble the people most suspicious of Jesus on earth. What has happened to reverse the pattern of Jesus' day? Why don't sinners like being around us?"
Miller continues:
"...Jesus was offering redemption through a relationship with Himself, and for those who were already being redeemed by a jury of their peers, people like politicians or wealthy people or powerful religious leaders, the redemption Jesus offered must have felt like a step down; but for those who had nothing...Jesus offered everything."
"In the Gospels, Jesus is always surrounded by the poor, by the marginalized. And, adversely, He is often opposed by the powerful. Not all the powerful, but those who oppose Him are almost always the people who are ahead in the lifeboat. In this way, Jesus disrupted the system by which people were gaining their false redemption."
Miller then goes on to quote Phillip Yancey from The Jesus I Never Knew:
"The more unsavory the characters, the more at ease they seemed to feel around Jesus. People like these found Jesus appealing: a Samaritan social outcast, a military officer of the tyrant Herod, a quisling tax collector, a recent hostess to seven demons. In contrast, Jesus got a chilly response from more respectable types. Pious Pharisees thought him uncouth and worldly, a rich young ruler walked away shaking his head, and even the open-minded Nicodemus sought a meeting under the cover of darkness. I [Yancey] remarked to the class how strange this pattern seemed, since the Christian church now attracts respectable types who closely resemble the people most suspicious of Jesus on earth. What has happened to reverse the pattern of Jesus' day? Why don't sinners like being around us?"
Miller continues:
"...Jesus was offering redemption through a relationship with Himself, and for those who were already being redeemed by a jury of their peers, people like politicians or wealthy people or powerful religious leaders, the redemption Jesus offered must have felt like a step down; but for those who had nothing...Jesus offered everything."
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
5Q4
Okay - here are my answers to Donna's 5Q4 for me. Evidently the rules are to copy and paste the questions and answers and to challenge you, dear readers, to be interviewed by moi (the first four of you, anyway...)
1. You once mentioned that you used to think you were invisible. When would you like to have the ability to be invisible?
I think currently I would most like to be invisible when it's for my own protection and self-preservation! A really cool defense mechanism, doncha think? Actually, I don't know that I have a good or valid reason for being invisble - at least not a reason that isn't selfish and sneaky...lol!
2. You have talked about your estranged relationship with your mother. What effect, positive or negative, do you think this has had on your relationship with your children?
I have always assured my kids that there is nothing they could do to make me stop loving them. I pray they will never test me on that! We have always been very up front with the kids as to the reasons behind my mother's actions. I hope they can understand the error of her thinking, while at the same time learning forgiveness and ultimately, acceptance of others.
3. You spoke of a friend with whom you had a falling out and later reconciliation. Has your friendship been the same since the "bad times"?
While it's true there was a meeting of the minds and apologies and forgiveness offered and accepted, I'm not sure "reconciliation" is the best word to describe what happened. I think we kinda left things as they are: not a lot of contact, but the knowledge that we'll be there when we seek one another out. Sometimes I regret the distance, but most times I'm at peace.
4. At one time your job was incredible stressful for you. Are your stress levels better? Did the whole incident from December blow over?
"At one time"! HA! Actually, this past Sunday marked my fifth anniversary here, and so far, so good. I think things have blown over for the most part. We're such a small office, and stress around here tends to breed and be contagious! I am looking around for something else - just keeping my options open...!
5. Do you think your posting style or content changed any when your husband began to read your blog?
I don't think changed all that much. I have always tried to be honest and truthful, while respecting feelings and privacy. My husband has been a source of inspiration and encouragement in my blogging. In fact, I feel he's much better at blogging than I am. There are times, however, when I wish I had a completely anonymous blog where I could vent and release the screaming banshee that seems to be my alter ego - yell and vent while being completely - AHA! - invisible!!
Thanks, Donna! Anyone else...?
1. You once mentioned that you used to think you were invisible. When would you like to have the ability to be invisible?
I think currently I would most like to be invisible when it's for my own protection and self-preservation! A really cool defense mechanism, doncha think? Actually, I don't know that I have a good or valid reason for being invisble - at least not a reason that isn't selfish and sneaky...lol!
2. You have talked about your estranged relationship with your mother. What effect, positive or negative, do you think this has had on your relationship with your children?
I have always assured my kids that there is nothing they could do to make me stop loving them. I pray they will never test me on that! We have always been very up front with the kids as to the reasons behind my mother's actions. I hope they can understand the error of her thinking, while at the same time learning forgiveness and ultimately, acceptance of others.
3. You spoke of a friend with whom you had a falling out and later reconciliation. Has your friendship been the same since the "bad times"?
While it's true there was a meeting of the minds and apologies and forgiveness offered and accepted, I'm not sure "reconciliation" is the best word to describe what happened. I think we kinda left things as they are: not a lot of contact, but the knowledge that we'll be there when we seek one another out. Sometimes I regret the distance, but most times I'm at peace.
4. At one time your job was incredible stressful for you. Are your stress levels better? Did the whole incident from December blow over?
"At one time"! HA! Actually, this past Sunday marked my fifth anniversary here, and so far, so good. I think things have blown over for the most part. We're such a small office, and stress around here tends to breed and be contagious! I am looking around for something else - just keeping my options open...!
5. Do you think your posting style or content changed any when your husband began to read your blog?
I don't think changed all that much. I have always tried to be honest and truthful, while respecting feelings and privacy. My husband has been a source of inspiration and encouragement in my blogging. In fact, I feel he's much better at blogging than I am. There are times, however, when I wish I had a completely anonymous blog where I could vent and release the screaming banshee that seems to be my alter ego - yell and vent while being completely - AHA! - invisible!!
Thanks, Donna! Anyone else...?
Monday, April 04, 2005
Monday, Monday
Happy Monday! It's the start of another week. Another opportunity to see the beauty around us, to share our lives with someone who needs to know someone cares, to enjoy the life and blessings poured out on us by our benevolent Father.
DH and I spent about an hour with a college class taught by a friend of ours this morning. It's become almost a standing engagement. When he teaches a class on multiculturalism, he invites us to come and speak about our marriage. We really enjoy it. It gives us an opportunity to share some about our faith as well. I will admit that today, though, all these college students looked really young! *sigh*
I recently finished Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. Wow! LOVED. IT. It really opened my eyes, and led me out of my happy little christian churchy cocoon. The things he writes showed me that I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I want to change. Which is very frightening. And difficult. But we've all gotta start somewhere!
DH and I spent about an hour with a college class taught by a friend of ours this morning. It's become almost a standing engagement. When he teaches a class on multiculturalism, he invites us to come and speak about our marriage. We really enjoy it. It gives us an opportunity to share some about our faith as well. I will admit that today, though, all these college students looked really young! *sigh*
I recently finished Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. Wow! LOVED. IT. It really opened my eyes, and led me out of my happy little christian churchy cocoon. The things he writes showed me that I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I want to change. Which is very frightening. And difficult. But we've all gotta start somewhere!
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