moving on

Got back not too long ago from my grandfather's funeral. It was a very nice ceremony, if those things can be considered "nice."

I was doing okay - no, really - considering how uncomfortable I was with this side of the family (I don't really know anyone!) etc, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around expecting to find a long lost relative who hadn't seen me since I was "this high!" But it was two very dear sisters from our church. Down tumbled my calm facade like the walls of Jericho...I was so grateful they would take the time to travel out of town to be there for us. And even though they weren't able to sit with us, it was so comforting just knowing they were in the building.

The other thing that set me off was when the Job's Daughters formed the cross. They do it at the end of every meeting/function, but it still held a great deal of meaning. Even big old tough guy Allen was weepy.

And the third thing was when my boys put a Cubs ball cap on his casket at the cemetary. He was a HUGE Cubs fan! He's even wearing a Cubs tie, and my aunts had incorporated a ball cap into the casket arrangement.

The down side, other than the obvious, is that no one can locate my father. He's disabled and can't be by himself. No one has heard from him for quite awhile. He lives out of state, and we've been trying to contact him to let him know about grandfather's passing, but we can't find him. My aunt called the local law enforcement agency to do a welfare check and inform him, but we haven't heard back from them yet. Prayers appreciated...

...

My grandfather passed away tonight. He'd had a heart attack yesterday evening, and was deprived of oxygen for quite awhile. Allen and I went to see him today, and spent a few hours with my aunts at the hospital. He's finally back with my grandmother after nearly a decade apart.

Ugh...

Ever have one of those, well, lives? It seems like we are high up on satan's list, 'cuz we can't win for losin'! The past few weeks have been really tough, and I'm frustrated and discouraged and whiny and grumpy and...well, you get the idea.

Not looking for anything, really. Just needed to vent...