We are having a cookout for some of Allen's fellow firefighters in a couple of weeks, and I've been trying really hard NOT to get stressed over the house and whether or not it's perfect. I can give you a laundry list of what things need to be done, but not when or how the things are going to get done. Usually, the prospect of guests sends me into some semblance of cleaning/organizing/decorating overdrive. Two houses ago, Allen invited his entire family over to see our then-new home for Easter Sunday. We were up VERY late most of that week, trying to add some color and (eep!) wallpaper to that house. Quite a week, let me tell you!
It's even more nervewracking for me because the guests are not from our church family. I can let some things slide for some people, because they have to love me anyway. Lol! But not so with this crowd, so I'm a little edgy on how things will come together.
At the same time, I'm trying to wrap my head around a hospitality ministry at church. We're trying to determine what that exactly should be, and where it should fit in terms of a pigeonhole - should it fall under the women's ministry? Should it be a ministry all its own?
The more research I'm doing on the topic shows me that there are some very divergent ideas on what hospitality means to some churches. All of them characterize serving others. But that service seems to range from helping with parking places to finding somewhere for someone to live. Quite a range.
I try to pride myself on being hospitable to guests in our home. And I'm becoming convicted that this pride is displaced. I read this:
The Bible suggests several attributes found in a ministry of hospitality. A focus on the needs of others rather than on one’s own is exemplified in the stories of Abraham and the three visitors (Genesis 18), the Shunammite woman (II Kings 4:8-37), and the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). A willingness to share whatever one has, even if it is meager, is demonstrated in the widow of Zarephath (I Kings 17), the little boy with a lunch (John 6:9), and the disciples from Emmaus (Luke 24:13-32).
A loving heart seeking relationship is exemplified by Mary (Luke 10:38) and in Simon’s home (Luke 7:36-50). Courage to risk developing relationships is seen in Abigail (I Samuel 25) and in Rahab (Joshua 2).
Strikingly little is said about skills of cooking, the possession of a beautiful home, or ability in conversation. In fact, the only reference to this is Christ’s gentle remonstrance with Martha not to “fret and fuss” about the details of preparing a meal for Him. He pointed her instead to the priority of being with Him. Thus, simplicity and service characterize the type of hospitality found in the scriptures.
A counterfeit form of hospitality is often confused with true Christian hospitality. This “entertaining” is ego-centered and based on materialistic concepts sold in advertisements and the media which suggest that being a “good” host or hostess demands gourmet cooking ability, a spotless and sparkling home, witty and charming conversations, etc. This form of entertaining can result in bondage, excessive labor, preoccupation with one’s own needs, and reluctance to be spontaneously generous.
(Sorry - I can only find that the quote comes from PlusLine.)
Talk about convicting! Especially that last paragraph - bondage, excessive labor, preoccupation with one's own needs - yep - got 'em all!
Now, I'm not talking about letting the house just kinda be what it is currently - there are things that need to be done to help our guests be comfortable, etc. But I have been convicted that my brand of 'hospitality' is 'show off-tality', you know? Any tips on overcoming this?
6 comments:
I have ALWAYS struggled with hospitality. I saw hospitality growing up - my mother is #1 at hospitality but I worry about what others would think.
I know now that they don't look at my house any more than I look at theirs and I'm just excited to go somewhere where somebody cooks a meal!
I'm sure you'll have a great time!
The very things that I worry about in my own house are the very things I NEVER notice in other's homes! I never notice if someone's carpet is vacuumed or not. What I remember most are the conversations - the people.
I tend to apologize for my house deficits - that's a big struggle for me! Why do I need to be sorry for having a roof over my head & sharing that with others??? It's silly.
As far as advice goes - Don't stress yourself out - it'll just make you a harried host. Try to relax & be thankful for the blessings of the day, including your house, Allen's job, etc.! Have a fun day!
Firefighters enter homes all the time when the conditions are less than ideal. We are then asked to perform at the best of our ability to mitigate extrordinary circustances. In the process, we learn to tune out the things that don't matter and to concentrate on doing our jobs. Then, when it's time to relax, we have no problem taking advantage of the down time.
I assure you, the guys are looking forward to the opportunity to get together away from work, relax, and have a good time eating barbecue and enjoying each other's company. YOU should do the same!
It's not like the roof is gonna come down on Steve's head or Kevin is gonna fall through the floor. We need new carpeting and new furniture and we have a couple of minor issues that will be taken care of by the time they come over.
As long as the only flames we see are in the grill, it's all good!
You may not know these guys as well as our church family, but the fact of the matter is I actually know them better than our church family! That's just what happens with this job.
This is set up to be a much needed relaxing day for these guys and their families and as an opportunity for the wives to get to know each other better and have a good time.
Trust me, these guys have already heard me complain about the carpet and the know we are going to be getting new furniture before too long. In spite of this, they have decided they want to come over anyway!
Let's see to it that everyone has a fun, relaxing, good time. That means YOU too!
BTW-We're talking firefighters here. The house could be falling down around us but as long as the food is good and the drinks are cold, we'll be just fine!
I feel your pain!! With the approaching graduation party for Aaron I had to struggle with the same thing. All of our friends here have very, very nice and expensive homes. I was very self conscious about it all!! Then I made myself come to grips with the fact that we are who we are, we have the resources we have and I didn’t want to make myself crazy ‘getting the house ready’. I decided really what I want is to have fun day and enjoy our family and friends. I’m at peace with it now, but it was process of making my head believe what I knew was right!!!
I agree, don't worry. Be a Mary and not a Martha. The only time I've noticed someone else's house was involving termites, and I'm sure that is not your house :) (Darn those ISU apartments.)
Happy Birthday sweet Chris!!
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