Not happy

So last night I went through the box of things belonging to my grandmother that was given to me at her funeral. I'd been through it once before, briefly. There are a lot of pictures in it - mostly of me. There's also her Bible - which I'm thrilled to have!

But there's also stuff I'm not so thrilled about. My aunt let me know that my mother (from whom I've been estranged for 20 years) picked out the items and packed the box. Really, now. So I went back through it with a more cynical eye. Yes, the pictures are okay, I guess. As I said, the bible is a treasure. The cards she picked out but never got to send to us are nice.

And then are are the OTHER things. Like the pin she obviously never wore - the cheap costume zebra pin (editorial comment, mother?) still in the plastic bag. (Like it came from a cereal box!) Or the card from someone I don't even know. Or the teddy bear pilgrims that I never saw displayed. Or the ten commandments decorative plate. Really? But my favorite is the picture of a truly adorable child that ended up in my box, but I have no idea who it is. I can only assume the picture came to me because the child is African-American. Come on.

It's like my mother looked at some random, leftover stuff and threw it in the box - hey, give it to Chris - she'll never know the difference!

My grandmother was afraid something like this would happen, I think. She did give me some things before she passed, and I am so glad she did, because otherwise I'd have nothing that SHE wanted me to have.

I have to wonder what the other grandkids received in their boxes. I'm not trying to be greedy, by any means - I'm not looking for treasure, or money, or jewelry. I just want something to remember her by. Something sentimental or meaningful, or significant. Something I can pass down to my boys. Certainly not plastic teddy bear pilgrims! Is that too much to ask or expect from someone who was such a huge factor in my life?