This weekend I think I came to a decision. That sounds weird, huh? Either I came to a decision or I didn't. Whatever.
Anyway, I am officially declaring my orphan-hood. I have one parent who doesn't want anything to do with me. Or my husband. Or my kids. At. All. That's one parent gone - by her choosing.
We have finally heard from my father. After six months. And he's just as warm and loving and concerned as EVER! (Please note the sarcasm...) After finding out his father and only remaining parent has died, his concern is not for his sisters, or his daughter or her family. No, his concern, and I quote, was "How much do I get and will it be in a lump sum?" Niiiice... Nothing about why he hasn't called or tried to contact anyone, nothing about the woman in the background feeding him questions. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
I know I should be the Christian woman I say I am and forgive and love and be sympathetic and all that, but I just don't feel it. Yet. And I know I should be grateful to still have my parents living, seeing as some people don't. But, the way I'm currently feeling...
Anyway.
3 comments:
It is liberating to cut ties with those who drag you down. You are a great Mom and your boys will never suffer this way. You don't have to think of yourself as an orphan, just blessed with a new and better family!
It's the "shoulds" that tie us down with guilt. Your parents made the choices that they made & the consequence is that they have distanced themselves from their family. I second Donna's sentiments that you are providing your own children with a stable home environment & are really blessed from that perspective.
But I know that doesn't necessarily make anything better either.
This post really spoke to me.
I have kind of considered myself an orphan for quite a long time, even before my dad died; because basically both of my parents gave up on their responsibility to parent. And when you have no parents that are really "there" for you, you really are basically an orphan.
I have yet to be able to completely cut the ties with my mother, but I can't help but think how liberating it would be to do so.
My prayers are with you.
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