Vengeance is mine, saith the wife

Yep. Got DH. Had a surprise party for him this weekend. Mwahaha...

I'm struggling with some stuff right now, and, once again, I can't hide my feelings. So, I was not Miss Perky Sunday morning. Sorry PT! Still struggling, but getting better at hiding it.

And as a side note to Beaner - DH asked me to make a run for pork rinds last night - and I blame you! :D

Thanx!

Thanks for everyone's encouraging words! (And yeah, I know it's just a modem...thanks honey!) It was just a temporary slump - headache, stress, busy-crazy, single parenting, yada yada yada. I'll be fine. Just need to focus on the good stuff!

Anyhoo - the friend boss is gone today and will be on into next week. So, the stress will continue. I'm terrified that one of her clients will call and I'll be left floundering with no idea how to help them! She also is the administrator for their web-site and all that entails - and, well, I'm clueless about all that! Another disadvantage to her being gone is that the yucky boss will be sticking close to the office. *sigh* And as much as he thinks he knows what goes on around here - he is truly out of the loop.

And. On top of that, I've just realized that DS2's birthday is in 11 (!) days - and I have nothing planned. Crud! I think we'll be having his party the weekend after his birthday, so I have a little more time, but sheesh - his birthday creeps up on me FAST! And if I'm not mistaken, we're having people over for a cookout on the Fourth - so there's cleaning and planning and decorating to do.

I'm feeling a little unorganized about the whole school thing too. I usually have all the important dates organized on my calendar by now, and I don't yet, and to be honest, it's freaking me out. Especially with DS1 starting a new school in the fall. I know I still have time to do everything - I'm usually just a bit more organized than this. I think I'll put that project at the top of my priority list this weekend.

Lord, give me peace and patience. Let me hear You whisper to me. Help me not be distracted from what's truly important. Remind me that I only have to do my best - nothing more.

Can't win for losing

Okay, my self-pity/lack of self-esteem demon is getting a workout today.

Ever have one of those days when you try to do something right, you think you're doing something good, and it blows up in your face? Everything just goes all pear-shaped.
And you end up in a bigger mess than when you started. Ugh. All of which sends me on some sort of downward spiral - you can't do anything right, you're worthless, why are you even here, you don't even count at this school, etc.

I'm not looking for pity or anything. Just putting it out there.

Weekend Highlights

FRIDAY
* Day off!
* Long lost family in town
* Meeting with troubled friend - and we were both laughing when he left

SATURDAY
* Family, family, and more family
* Quo's famous spaghetti
* Fishing
* Sunburn
* Ribs, chicken, macaroni salad - reunion food rocks!

SUNDAY
* Happy Father's Day
* Baseball game
* Cheap seats
* Watching DH and kiddos play ball and run the bases at the ball field
* Player autographs! On EVERYTHING!
* More sunburn

I need another day off to recover! And to heal - sunburn is killing me!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my husband's birthday. He is such a joy to have in my life! I know I am truly blessed by having him around!

He is terrific with the kiddos - much more willing to go out and throw the ball around than I tend to be! I know they will look back and thank him for all he did for them, and consider him to be their hero and inspiration.

He's an awesome cook! Yes - TRULY blessed - I know! It's such a relief to come home and find dinner waiting - you have no idea! I'll gladly do dishes for such a treat! And he enjoys doing it!

He's a servant. He will go the extra mile for anyone who asks.

He's my best friend. He's there to challenge me when I need it, and he's not afraid to tell me hard things when I need to hear them. He's my biggest supporter and fan. He listens to my fears and hopes and dreams.

He's my fountain of youth. He keeps me young because he's young at heart. He encourages me to lighten up when he sees I'm being far too serious!

He's a hero - and not just because of the job! He provides for his family, keeps us grounded, calls us higher and urges us to be our best. And if that's not a hero...!

I am a lucky woman to have you in my life, sweetie! I love you! Happy birthday!

Thursday

I have to admit that I have a great sense of relief. Last night at church, we were able to encourage and embrace the fourth party in the situation here. We got to shower her with love and acceptance and forgiveness, and I am so glad! I'm glad she was there, that she was able to go before the body, and accept what we were longing to give her.

I know God is working here at Northside! It's amazing to see how this body of believers has pulled together and rallied around those who are hurting.

Lord, please continue to work here. Continue to pour out Your grace and love and comfort. Let healing begin!

Come, Lord Jesus

Sometimes I just ache for Jesus to come back! I want Him to return and save me and those I love from the pain of everyday life. Isn't pain avoidance a legitimate defense mechanism? Or is my prayer a cop-out?

As I was working on my Christmas gifts last night, I came across a quote which, well, to be honest, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. "Much of what [God] allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up!"

I'm not sure if this is a helping thing for me today or not. I kind of understand the idea behind the statement, but it doesn't make things easier to bear.

Storms

We had some pretty heavy thunderstorms roll through the area last night. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it rained a bit Sunday too. Just seems like the heavens are weeping. I know that sounds melodramatic and overblown, but it's just the mood. I'm always fascinated by storms, and after it was over last night, I stepped out on the deck looking at the clouds. The light was so odd. It was that weird, otherworldly yellow-sepia tone in the sky that makes everything and everyone look jaundiced. And everything was so still. The birds hadn't restarted their songs yet. Everyone was still inside, protected. Everyone but my family. We all stepped out and saw the most beautiful full rainbow. All of us just stood and watched the clouds move through the rainbow. The breeze was cool and refreshing. Restorative after the heat of the day. A tonic. The clouds shifted, the earth turned, and the rainbow started to fade quickly. The breezes blew, the sun moved and the rainbow returned, brighter than before.

DH and I just watched in awe. He leaned over and said quietly, "I hope they saw that."

Me, too.

Lord, please keep pouring out Your love! Give us strength, peace and rest. Please let the healing begin!

Sunday

I have never - NEVER - seen bravery and humility and love and Jesus like I did today. In the midst of the pain, He began healing. In the midst of anger, He brought love. This has been a really hard time, but I pray this is the beginning of reconciliation and healing. Please continue to be on your knees for our church family and individuals.

Thank You Lord! Please continue to cover them and protect them!!!

Desperately in need of prayer covering!

Blog family, I covet your prayers for a situation here. Please pray for restoration, reconciliation, forgiveness, healing and strength. I don't want to get into the reasons for the need for you to be on your knees - that's not my place. Just, please - PLEASE - be praying for our church family.

Lord, sometimes it's hard to find You. I don't understand why these things happen. I'm sick at heart. I just wish things were right. Lord, be with us as a church. Be with us as individuals. If understanding can't be given to us, then let us at least draw together.

Back for a quick question

Do you believe anticipation is worse than the actual unpleasant event? I mean, if you have to do something or experience something decidedly un-fun, is waiting for that time worse than actually doing/experiencing it? Granted, execution is probably an exception to this hypothetical-osity-ness...

Just wonderin'...

Thursday

Thursday again. I feel like I'm just now getting caught up at work. Ugh. I just keep plugging away...

Don't hate me, but I've started working on Christmas gifts. Only about 200 days until Christmas for those of you who are counting...!

Oops - gotta go - boss just walked in...Buh bye! Have a good day!

Back to the salt mines...

Well, last week was great! Vacations are usually terrific, and though we didn't do anything 'special' or anything, I know I had a great time! Monday, of course, was the cookout/surprise birthday party thing; Tuesday - well, to be honest, we recovered! Wednesday I took the kiddos to see Star Wars; Thursday we went to Peoria; Friday - off to Chicago for the day. Saturday I went to see family, while DH and the kids went bowling and then over to see his family in the evening. And Sunday, we recovered - again!

Then today - work - ugh. I really tried to have a good attitude about coming in today. And I think I succeeded. (Getting the brain started again this morning was a little tough, but I did it!) But all the stuff piled up is really starting to get to me. So, I decided to go into denial and blog a bit.

I admit that I did miss my work computer last week! I have all my daily blog reading available at the click of my mouse, instead of having to type the addresses in one at a time. I guess I never realized how many blogs I actually read in a day. Sheesh! So, while I didn't do much writing or commenting last week, I did read!

Take it easy, folks - I know I am! lol!