Things went MUCH better last night with the kiddos! They worked together on art projects, and nary an argument was heard! Wahoo! I was able to get some rest, and didn't get blamed for it!
I've been talking to God a bit lately, again, whatever. Not too much in depth, but more like those quick 'popcorn' prayers - you know, you hear of someone's need and fire off and quick 'be with them, Lord' prayer. I'm still struggling a bit with getting 'down and dirty' with EVERYTHING in prayer, you know? This is going to sound odd, but I've been looking at the lives of some catholic saints - don't ask me why! And yes, I've been filtering...but it's been really hard for me to imagine the prayer lives of these people! Praying for days on end. I've never been a really strong 'prayer warrior' or anything like that, and to be honest, it concerns me. My attention wanders constantly, and I don't feel like I have any deep meaningful times with the Lord. And this isn't just recently - this has been since I've become a christian. Although if you ask DH, prayer is always my first reponse to him when he's facing difficulty: 'Did you pray about it?' 'Maybe this is something to take to God in prayer.' 'Let's pray. You first.'
Wow - this is so NOT what I was going to write about today!
Anyone else struggle with this?
4 comments:
I tried again to "get into it" w/God last night. I have SUCH a hard time staying in prayer for very long - my mind just wanders all over the place. I kinda do the "popcorn prayers" throughout the day too. I am struggling right now w/wanting to REALLY hear from God. I want to feel like I am 'walking in the garden w/God' like so many songs describe & yet I have never, honestly felt the presence of God right beside me. Am I looking for the wrong thing or are others fooling me (and themselves) into feeling an intimate connection w/Him? I want that intimate connection w/Him, but if I can't even stay in prayer for more than a few minutes, well, will I ever get there? So...yeah...I struggle w/that too - ALL the time!
Ditto. Sometimes I think my prayers to God are like trying to understand a conversation with a 2 year old. I send up bullet prayers constantly and I almost always either strike up a conversation w/ my husband in the middle of my prayers (b/c that's when I'm thinking about X, and who knows when it'll be on my mind next) or fall asleep before finding an appropriate ending. I've found that the best solution for me is actually praying out loud. Hearing what is coming out of my mouth instead of just thinking it usually helps (not unlike Anne of Green Gables writing her prayer out and ending it w/ "Sincerly, Anne Shirley"). And so does praying with others, though it can sometimes feel like airing dirty laundry depending on who I am praying with. Random and spastic comments, very similar to my random and spastic prayers. Anyway that they exit my body, though, I am positive that they are heard by Him.
Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one. I often think that God is probably just shaking his head in disappointment with me. Sometimes I can REALLY talk to him but, it's like I'm always asking for something. I just want to be able to praise Him and let Him know that I mean it. I just can't seem to do that like I want to.
I think we all struggle with this if we are honest. It helps me a lot to write my prayers down. Unfortunately, I am sporadic with that too! When I am accountable (like when I challenged my class to do it from Thanksgiving till January 1) I will do it, but when I miss one or two days, I become ngeligent again.
God is probably like my Mom, He wishes I would call more often, but is always glad to hear from me!
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