Truly Random...

It's very crisp and cool this morning here in the midwest. Just another sign of autumn's impending arrival. Last night, we had the doors and windows open and we heard some Canadian geese flying south. My DH and I just looked at each other and grinned. We both love autumn!

Had a great lesson with my voice coach last week. We actually got to work on one of the songs I'll be performing at the recital, and it went really well. I'm getting more excited, as well as more nervous. And it's only September! Yikes!

I'm taking next week off of work to hang out with my kiddos and DH (that and my sitter is off...) and I'm looking forward to it! My DH is going with DS1 on a field trip while I get the day truly off!

I dug out my fall - oops! Sorry, Skip! - autumn decorations last night. I'm so looking forward to autumn! I had to restrain myself from pulling them out MUCH earlier. I love autumn! Bright sunny days, cool crisp evenings, leaves putting on their best for one last hurrah...nothing like it!

Thank You for the beauty of Your creation, Lord - things You intended for our enjoyment. Open our eyes to see the love that went into Your creativity.

Candle Parable

A friend shared this with me a while ago, and it has really stuck with me.

There was a blackout one night. When the light went out, I fumbled to the closet where we keep the candles for nights like this...I lit four of them. I was turning to leave with the large candle in my hand when I heard a voice, "Now hold it right there!"

"Who said that?"

"I did." The voice was near my hand.

"Who are you? What are you?"

"I am a candle." I lifted up the candle to take a closer look. There was a tine face in the wax. "Don't take me out of here!" it said.

"What?"

"Don't take me out of this room."

"What do you mean? I have to take you out. You're a candle. Your job is to give light. It's dark out there."

"But you can't take me out. I'm not ready," the candle explained with pleading eyes. "I need more preparation."

I couldn't believe my ears. "More preparation?"

"Yeah, I've decided I need to research this job of light-giving, so I won't go out and make a bunch of mistakes. You'd be surprised how distorted the glow of an untrained candle can be."

"All right then," I said. "You're not the only candle on the shelf. I'll blow you out and take the others!"

But right then I heard other voices, "We aren't going either!" I turned to the other candles.

"You are candles and your job is to light dark places!"

"Well, that may be what you think," said the first one, "you think we have to go, but I'm busy...I'm meditating on the importance of light...It's really enlightening (no pun intended.)"

"And you other two," I asked, "are you going to stay too?" A short fat purple candle with plump cheeks spoke up.

"I'm waiting to get my life together, I'm not stable enough."

The last candle had a female voice, very pleasant to the ear. "I'd like to help," she explained, "but lighting is not my gift...I'm a singer. I sing to other candles to encourage them to burn more brightly."

She began a rendition of 'This Little Light of Mine.' The other three joined in, filling the closet with singing. I took a step back and considered the absurdity of it all. Four perfectly good candles singing to each other about light but refusing to come out of the closet.

Hmmmm...

Psalm 104

O Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty. He wraps himself in light as with a garment; he stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters. He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind. He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants. He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved. You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains. But at your rebuke the waters fled, at the sound of your thunder they took flight; they flowed over the mountains, they went down into the valleys, to the place you assigned for them. You set a boundary they cannot cross; never again will they cover the earth. He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains. They give water to all the bests of the field; the wild donkeys quench their thirst. The birds of the air nest by the waters; they sing among the branches. He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; the earth is satisfied by the fruit of his work. he makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for man to cultivate-bringing forth food from the earth: wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread that sustains his heart. The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the pine trees. The high mountains belong to the wild goats; the crags are a refuge for the coneys. The moon marks off the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down. You bring darkness, it becomes night, and all the beasts of the forest prowl. The lions roar for their prey and seek their food from God. The sun rises, and they steal away; they return and lie down in their dens. Then man goes out to his work, to his labor until evening. How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number-living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there. These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to the dust. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth. May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works-he who looks at the earth, and it trembles, who touches the mountains and they smoke. I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. But may sinners vanish from the earth and the wicked be no more. praise the Lord, O my soul. Praise the Lord.

Odd inspiration

Sometimes, you find inspiration in the oddest places. My kids and I were watching cartoons this weekend - not my choice, by the way - and they were all excited to watch the new episode of 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Creatures.' My elder asked if I had ever seen this show, and assured me that I would like it because it was 'very creative.' Uh-huh. The premise of the show is that there is kind of a half-way house for imaginary friends that now need new homes. It's run by a teenager, her very elderly grandmother, and all these creatures. Well, in this episode, the teen and her friend were making a website to help get some of the creatures adopted. (There really is a point to all this!) So, the friend was doing some videotaped interviews of the creatures, when he happens to capture her grandmother's imaginary friend (a very proper English rabbit) doing a little chant and dance for the grandmother, as he had done for her when she was very young. Well, events unfold, and the rabbit learns he's been videotaped doing this little song and dance. He becomes irate and understandably embarrassed. He questions whose business is it if he wants to make a fool of himself 'in front of his creator.' Ah-ha - the point! And I have to admit this bothered me the rest of the weekend! I even promised myself that I wouldn't - absolutely would not - let this episode become a blog. Well, there ya go.

When was the last time I made a fool of myself for my Creator? When I just laid everything out in front of Him without caring what anyone else thought...

Happy Anniversary

Our anniversary is Sunday, and I can tell the flush of new love has kinda worn off for us. Not that we're any less in love, mind you. Just a bit more practical. My DH enjoys having some of the guys from church over on Sunday afternoons to watch football. I enjoy it as well. So, he took me to lunch the other day and I told him that he could do football this coming Sunday.
"You do realize what this Sunday is, right?", he asked.
"Uh, of course I do!"
"You're also assuming that I don't have something planned for our anniversary," he responded.
"Do you?"
"Well, no - but..."
Enough said.
I think the kids are more excited about our anniversary than we are. They're looking forward to our traditional anniversary dinner of fried chicken. DH and I also have traditional wine coolers. It was what we had our wedding night - it was a long day, and we hadn't eaten. Our best man and his wife gave us a basket of goodies including chilled wine coolers. When we got to our hotel, there was a KFC across the street. So. We spent the evening of our wedding day eating KFC, drinking wine coolers, going through our card box and watching Star Trek:TNG. Man, that sounds really pitiful! But it wasn't! We had a blast just relaxing after the stress of the day.

Thank You for my husband, Lord. Thank You for his heart, and his love for me, but most of all, his love for You.

'Mommy Dearest'

So, my mother retired recently. Her company gave a big fancy schmancy party for her. The whole family was invited to attend and even speak. I know because I saw the pictures. I was not invited. And I guess I'm feeling a little bitter. My mother hasn't voluntarily spoken to me in more than twelve years. Sometimes my heart just aches. Then there are times when I just want to cut off all relations and turn my back. I play the dutiful daughter and send cards on the appropriate holidays, but I'm not allowed to do anything else. I guess today it's bothering me more than usual. And I'm kind of in a funk, so it's not turning to depression or sadness, it's more like anger spiked with a more than a little bitterness. I don't want to feel this way. But my hands are tied. I don't feel that I can just sever the 'relationship' (and please read that with sarcasm!) but it's certainly not going anywhere.

Lord, thank You for not being swayed by our petty idiosyncrasies and tempers. Thank You for loving us with an everlasting love.

Selfish

I've been realizing recently how selfish I am. Not in a cranky, sleepy toddler kinda way, but a bit more subtly than that. I've noticed that I seem to have a lot of 'BC' thoughts when it comes to helping other people. I'm very disturbed by this discovery, as I've always thought of myself as a very generous and giving person.

For example, a family in my neighborhood recently lost their home in a fire. And I sympathized with them. Really, I did. But I was chagrined to get to church the next Sunday, and realize that another family in the body was asking for assistance for the fire family. It had never even occurred to me to do that! I was taken aback at the idea that I hadn't thought to ask for help on their behalf!

Lord, help me see others through Your eyes. Let me love them as You do. Let me pour myself out in Your service.

BOR-RING

As I look back over my last few blogs, I realize that my life really isn't that interesting...

Things have been really odd lately, and I guess my entries are reflecting that. I need to find time to be still and know. There's either been knowing or the stilling, but not really simultaneously.

In our marriage, I tend to be the encourager. Well, our roles were reversed this morning, and my dh spent some time encouraging and reassuring me. It was wonderful! It helped me to see how much it helps him when I encourage him. It truly did give me courage, today!

Thank You for my wonderful husband, and his tender heart. Watch over my family today, Lord, and protect them. Shield those in the path of Ivan and keep them safe.

In the beginning...

Ahhh - nothing like Monday during football season...

Have you heard the new Steven Curtis Chapman song? Love it! And it's got me thinking...
Imagine being witness to creation. Nothing. Then suddenly, a light! Then the waves crashing against the newly made shore. Can you imagine how loud that would be? After no sound at all? Wow! Eventually, the first trill of a meadowlark, singing praise to its Creator - no other reason than the joy of existing.

Thank You Lord for this beautiful world and the things You have placed here for our delight! Help me to remember to praise You unabashedly - just because You made me.

Are ya ready...?

Football season has started!!! Wahoo!!!

*ahem* Thank you for your indulgence - and yes, I feel much better now!

Things were going along swimmingly today, when I got some bad news. I won't go into the specific news, but I think I handled it well. Which is a switch. We'll get through this, and I am choosing to not get down and depressed. So there.

Lord, You know the circumstances in each of our lives. Thank You for being in control! Help me to live with grace and graciousness and be encouraging to those around me.

Where's my broom?

It was a wonderfully relaxing and quiet evening last night. The kiddos were wonderfully behaved (actually CLEANED their rooms!) dinner was a breeze, the house was clean, and I got to spend time cross stitching. All was right with the world.

So why was I a real witch to my kids?! Ugh! Even as I was yelling at them, I was trying to figure out why I was being so ugly! Selfishness, perhaps? I don't know. But I'm determined to let the 'good mom' have more time on the outside, and hopefully banish 'bad mom' to the dungeon!

Good news/bad news

Well, I totally blew it last night! I was supposed to be at praise team practice and completely forgot about it! I think that's the first time in three years, but still...! :(

My elder DS called me yesterday after school to let me know he had received a 100 on a school paper. This is a HUGE deal, as we were unsure whether he would move on to a new grade last year! So we celebrated appropriately on the phone and I encouraged him as well as I could without huggin' the stuffin' out of him.

Later last night, as the kids were going to bed, younger DS gave my DH an envelope which he had received from his teacher last week, and the contents of which we were supposed to review and return Tuesday. Grrr! So we went through the homework - all of which were very high scores - hooray! And then I found it - the 'I will...' sheet! Basically, the 'I will' sheet is a half sheet of paper on which the student takes responsibility for some rule violation. Sneaky little dickens gave it to us right before bedtime too! So we discussed the event this morning, and he understood that vengeance is the Lord's - not his - and he can't push someone just because they pushed him first.

All of which made me think - how often do I run to God with good news, and thanksgiving? Or do I try to hide the stuff I know He won't like?

The Passion

Tuesdays. Nothin' like 'em! Labor Day weekend was relatively uneventful family-wise. Found out that some of the Florida family made it through the storms, but still waiting to hear from the others.

My DH decided to get creative this weekend with some yummy Mexican food. Black bean and corn salsa, spicy chicken, brown rice - love that man o' mine!

We were going to go to the Labor Day parade Monday, and then DH informed the kiddos that we could actually be IN the parade - well, there was no stopping them at that point! My youngest DS got to ride shotgun in an antique fire engine while the rest of us walked the parade route drumming up donations for MDA. Except for the breakneck pace of the parade, fun was had by all (although I'd like to know whose idea it was to put those two big hills in the middle of the route!)

Later Monday evening, with a great deal of discussion, gentle leadership and timely questions and answers, we watched 'The Passion' as a family. The kids were probably still a bit too young (my older child flat out stated he was too young! But I think that was because his friends wanted to play!) They both had some very intelligent questions, and were okay with watching it. I hope we didn't try to over-explain things.

So, in essence, I got nothing done that I had intended or even wanted to accomplish this weekend, but overall, I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out!

Lord, thank You for the time of rest we had this past weekend. Work is a good thing, but rest is so needed!

Unclean

Isn't it funny how someone else's mood and attitude can change your own? We can be such reactionary creatures - someone is mad in our general direction, and in my case anyway, I'm all ready to get mad back. Even toward strangers. Thankfully, Jesus wasn't that way. I'm so grateful He took the time to talk to those undeserving souls who were grateful to have contact with anyone - let alone God Almighty! Today, I have felt kinda like a leper. Just cut off from the rest of the world, affected by the smallest hint of anger in my area.

Lord, help me to connect with You. Let me see the love in Your eyes just for me.

Tender heart and tuna

My hubby - the biggest softie in the world! He was out mowing the lawn last night and came to ask for a can of tuna. Obviously puzzled, I asked him why in the world he needed tuna to finish mowing the lawn. He informed me that there was a very pretty stray cat in the back and before he sent it away, he wanted to feed it first. Uh-huh. So I forked over a can of yummy fishy stuff and off he went - all the while telling me that he doesn't want a cat and that I don't want a cat. Yeah, right.

On a more serious note, my brother in law finally got in touch with the northern half of the family after Charley and let us know he and his were fine, and, oh, by the way, we're living in Vero Beach now. That's right. Ground zero for Hurricane Frances. So, I know we'd all appreciate prayers sent for those in that area.

Waaah!

I must admit I really was struggling with some issues yesterday evening. I really wanted to be selfish, and, to be quite honest, pout because something I adore doing is being delayed yet again due to circumstance$ that should not be out of our control. I understand that the whole family is tightening the proverbial belt a bit to get caught up, but I really wanted just to stamp my foot and throw a royal hissy. I realize my DH is also making sacrifices, and this is difficult for him as well, if not more so, but last night, that whole compassion thing just wasn't working for me real well.

Ever feel that way? I mean, I know in my head that I need to just suck it up and deal with it, but the 'other' side of me wants to act like a spoiled brat - what a release I sometimes feel it would be! Just get it out of my system and go on.

But I didn't. I was supportive, and concerned, and loving. And I felt better after that than I would have after a hissy fit. But the temptation was soooo strong...

Lord, remove that temptation from me! I want to be a good wife and encourage my husband instead of being a burden. Rein in my inner child! And show me that I may have some of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman somewhere in my character - strength, capable, honor, wisdom.