Recap

A message for my Boo...






Happy Birthday, Allen! Love you!!!!

An update

Well, at first the doctors couldn't find anything on my aunt's CAT scan. They set up an MRI for today. And they found something. Boy, did they find something! She's definitely had a stroke - but it's not her first - huh? Exactly. Evidently this is her fourth stroke - you'd think she would be a pro at them by now, wouldn't you? However, no one was more surprised at the news than she was.

So. Now they're going to do a "procedure" (not a "surgery") to her carotid artery, and hopefully take care of what might be happening in there. That means that she'll be in hospital for a couple more days at least.

She currently lives with and takes care of my grandfather. At this point, we don't really think he 'gets' what her condition will mean. Of course, that could be because no one wants to tell him the entire story.

Thank you for your prayers, and I ask that you continue.

My Aunt

My aunt's function was yesterday - you know - the one I was doing those "blasted angels" for. We went to meet her for her rehearsal Thursday evening in a town about an hour or so away from home. We did the rehearsal thing, and crashed in her suite because there was no possible way I was going to be able to drive home that late at night. My aunt, bless her, was overly stressed and under rested - welcome to Grand Session! She'd been fighting an upper respiratory infection for the past couple of weeks, but had regained her voice, and was feeling better. We (the boys and I) left to see the sights and head home Friday morning.

All of us went back to meet her yesterday afternoon/evening. THIS was what she had been working for during the past two years. Everything would finally come together this night - the room was beautiful, everyone was dressed to the nines! We went to her suite to see if she needed anything, and she told me that she was feeling fine, but that her speech was slurred, and she couldn't speak earlier that morning. When I looked at her, her mouth drooped to one side. She was trying really hard not to let my grandfather know anything might be wrong. I called Allen into her room to give her a quick check. He tested her grip, checked her pupils, and told her that as far as he could tell, she was okay. She ended up telling my grandfather, and assured him that if she didn't feel better Sunday that she would go to a doctor.

Allen pulled me aside and told me he thought something was wrong, but if it had happened early this morning, there wasn't much to be done at this moment. We went to her installation, and she just wasn't herself. She definitely raised the concern of more than one person in the room. As soon as the ceremony was over, she was convinced to go to the hospital immediately.

As of right now, they've brought her blood pressure down enough that it doesn't seem to be a huge concern, but they still have her on a stroke protocol. They haven't definitively decided that that is what has happened, but today hasn't been much better - she's still slurring, and now forgetting words.

Please keep her in your prayers. Her name is Joy, and she is very dear to me. Thanks, Blogville...

Today's the *gulp* day...

I'm really doing okay with today being my birthday. Although my planned women's ministry activity was somewhat of a flop, and neither my wonderful hubby nor my sweet kids are home with me, and it's raining, and...oh, heck!

Actually, it was a nice day! I don't really FEEL any older, and the fact that this is THE BIG ONE isn't coming into play too much. I'm looking forward to everyone being home soon, and just enjoying the long weekend. (Older people need more rest, you know...lol!)

Thanks to my great friends who turned something I was planning for someone else into a surprise celebration for me last night! I was so honored! Wait till next year, JL - your turn!!

Hospitality

We are having a cookout for some of Allen's fellow firefighters in a couple of weeks, and I've been trying really hard NOT to get stressed over the house and whether or not it's perfect. I can give you a laundry list of what things need to be done, but not when or how the things are going to get done. Usually, the prospect of guests sends me into some semblance of cleaning/organizing/decorating overdrive. Two houses ago, Allen invited his entire family over to see our then-new home for Easter Sunday. We were up VERY late most of that week, trying to add some color and (eep!) wallpaper to that house. Quite a week, let me tell you!

It's even more nervewracking for me because the guests are not from our church family. I can let some things slide for some people, because they have to love me anyway. Lol! But not so with this crowd, so I'm a little edgy on how things will come together.

At the same time, I'm trying to wrap my head around a hospitality ministry at church. We're trying to determine what that exactly should be, and where it should fit in terms of a pigeonhole - should it fall under the women's ministry? Should it be a ministry all its own?

The more research I'm doing on the topic shows me that there are some very divergent ideas on what hospitality means to some churches. All of them characterize serving others. But that service seems to range from helping with parking places to finding somewhere for someone to live. Quite a range.

I try to pride myself on being hospitable to guests in our home. And I'm becoming convicted that this pride is displaced. I read this:

The Bible suggests several attributes found in a ministry of hospitality. A focus on the needs of others rather than on one’s own is exemplified in the stories of Abraham and the three visitors (Genesis 18), the Shunammite woman (II Kings 4:8-37), and the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). A willingness to share whatever one has, even if it is meager, is demonstrated in the widow of Zarephath (I Kings 17), the little boy with a lunch (John 6:9), and the disciples from Emmaus (Luke 24:13-32).

A loving heart seeking relationship is exemplified by Mary (Luke 10:38) and in Simon’s home (Luke 7:36-50). Courage to risk developing relationships is seen in Abigail (I Samuel 25) and in Rahab (Joshua 2).

Strikingly little is said about skills of cooking, the possession of a beautiful home, or ability in conversation. In fact, the only reference to this is Christ’s gentle remonstrance with Martha not to “fret and fuss” about the details of preparing a meal for Him. He pointed her instead to the priority of being with Him. Thus, simplicity and service characterize the type of hospitality found in the scriptures.

A counterfeit form of hospitality is often confused with true Christian hospitality. This “entertaining” is ego-centered and based on materialistic concepts sold in advertisements and the media which suggest that being a “good” host or hostess demands gourmet cooking ability, a spotless and sparkling home, witty and charming conversations, etc. This form of entertaining can result in bondage, excessive labor, preoccupation with one’s own needs, and reluctance to be spontaneously generous.

(Sorry - I can only find that the quote comes from PlusLine.)

Talk about convicting! Especially that last paragraph - bondage, excessive labor, preoccupation with one's own needs - yep - got 'em all!

Now, I'm not talking about letting the house just kinda be what it is currently - there are things that need to be done to help our guests be comfortable, etc. But I have been convicted that my brand of 'hospitality' is 'show off-tality', you know? Any tips on overcoming this?

Monday

Hope all the mom's out there had a lovely Mother's Day - I know I did! My guys made sure I didn't have to lift a finger all day! Sweet!

To the two people who are still looking for posts from me - sorry! I've really been wrapped up in stuff with family and home (ask me about my wall!) and the women's ministry. I'm just not feeling the whole blog thing right now. I don't know. I'm also not feeling the whole praise team thing right now again either. (?)

We've got plans every weekend through the end of June, so I know I need to get my ducks in a row and get busy getting ready. It's mostly things I'm looking forward to, so that's good.

Any-hoo, life goes on, and I'm continually blessed by God. Blugs!!

Question #2

What ability would you like to wake up with tomorrow?

**Sorry - wasn't thinking right - I meant to ask what QUALITY you'd like to have...

Question...

If you could wake up tomorrow with any ability or gift, what would it be and why?

Miscellania

I was paid a compliment today that I absolutely don't deserve. I have been sending short devotionals out to the women on the women's ministry servant group on Wednesdays. I've really enjoyed finding just the right ones, and rummaging through my files Wednesday mornings in order to send them out. (Yes, paper files - so?) Any-hoo, one of the women emailed me back and paid me a very sweet compliment. I was brought up short, and very convicted about all that I haven't been doing for this ministry. I know that's not at all why she sent it, but God took care of the real message...
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Got the boy's progress reports recently. DS2 will be on A-B honor roll again! And - drum roll please! - DS1 is not only passing, he's passing pretty darn well, thankyouverymuch! Has the corner finally been turned?! Wahoo!

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My goober of a husband is floating through the house this week. He's finally getting to leave on at least part of his long awaited Blues & BBQ tour. This weekend, he and another brother from church are heading to KCMO for lots of fellowship, lots of music, and lots of RIBS! As I am typing, he started playing Fats Domino's "Going to Kansas City." Albone is SOOO jazzed (no pun intended!) about going! And I'm very excited for him - he needs this trip! He deserves this trip! He's finally going on this trip!
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And my plans for the weekend? Hint: two words - a season and an unpleasant activity...guesses? Yep - spring cleaning! I'm sure my boys would appreciate prayers for rescue.

Tingly-feeling

Shhh! I'm listening in on my son's conversations as they're playing a video game - yes, TOGETHER! I know! I'm hoping they've forgotten I'm here. I can't remember when the last time was they played a game together, on the same 'team', and were so complimentary! I've heard so many 'good jobs!' and 'yessss!' and 'way to go!s' spoken to one another - it's almost like they were - *gasp* - FRIENDS!?! Usually I hear the hitting and sniping and insults and eventually the younger one throwing his controller, 'cuz he's not as good as the older one and then stomping upstairs in tears 'cuz he's mad. THIS is SOOO refreshing! Makes me all happy and glowy and tingly...

Hope it lasts...!

Creamed corn, anyone?

I've seen this on some other blogs I read, and thought it could be fun. (And, I needed to post something!)

List five weird things about yourself. Ready? Go.

To be honest, I had a hard time coming up with things that aren't simply pet peeves. But, here goes...

1. Milk MUST be ICE. COLD. No leaving it out on the table for the length of a meal for me! The less time it's out of the fridge, the happier I am. I have a real problem with spoiled milk - blech!

2. I pop my joints - fingers, wrists, elbows, etc. But I can't do just one side. I have to do both.

3. I hate it when people say EYE-talian. Enough said.

4. I can't lay on my back without bending my right leg. It reminds me of someone laying in a coffin, and ever since I was a child, that right leg has managed to bend. As a result, I had really good turnout on the right side for the ballet section of dance class. (Left side, not so much...)

5. I dislike the number four. Don't ask me why - I simply don't know.

So there ya have it. Me in a NUTshell - lol! What's weird about you?

A new creation

Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down.

I received this in an email message today. The sender's name isn't important, because the true sender was God. His hand has been on me all day today.

Allen and I have been trying to deal with 'stuff' from my past. It's not been easy, but he's been incredibly patient. But he's also been incredibly frustrated. Understandably so. Last night, he asked me if I truly believed I was a new creation in Christ or if it was just something I was paying lip service to. This question has been uppermost in my mind all day.

During some downtime today, I did a topical search on new creation. I was directed to the predictable verses about being a new creation, but I dug a little deeper, and was directed to different verses dealing with regeneration. Like this one I blogged about a while ago:

GOD, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your
children's hearts, freeing you to love GOD, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live.

And this one:

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the
next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ jesus. Saving is all
his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do
it.

And a quote from a christian novel I'm reading (modified):

I know I don't have the power within myself to initiate or complete lasting
changes in my life. Only God can do that.

See what I mean? It's been like this ALL DAY. He's been challenging me: "Do you really accept that I will complete the good work I began in you? Do you believe I am committed to you?"

I'm starting to. I don't want this promise especially to be a minor part of some christian litany of promises. I want it to be real! I want so much to get rid of what has been causing me pain and fear and holding me back from what I really want. I WILL NOT let my past keep me in bondage any longer.

Elhoy Mikarov - God who is near, be near me now as I put my past behind me. Help me put it as far from me as you have put my sins from you. Be with Allen and me.

El Emet - God of truth, make your promises TRUTH to me. I want to hold unswervingly to your words.

Jehovah Shalom - Lord of peace, give me your peace and comfort. Give me courage and don't let me miss the love that my fear is hiding.

Jehovah Ropheka - Lord our healer, heal me. Heal my spirit, heal my mind. Free me.
Jehovah Shammah - Lord who is present, be real to me.

Amen

Sound the retreat!

I thought the retreat went really well considering all that the enemy tried to pull to get us down. The lesson was very good, and sparked lots of discussion, and the object lessons written were well-played! I have to agree with Jeanna that Sunday's testimonies were probably one of the high points for me. In the past, Sunday had become sort of anti-climactic - the lesson was over, one more thing before we pack and leave - but anymore, Sunday mornings at the retreat have been amazing! He has really been evident!

I was thrilled to have some rookies join us this year. And no, we didn't haze them too badly - lol!

I thought the entire weekend was very encouraging, and I can't wait to see the changes that will come from it!

Wait - I thought it was Tuesday - not Monday

Ever have one of those days...? Got up early, doin' the shower thing, everything's going great, Allen heads out to work - early (see? we're both doing well...!), get the kids up, pet the dog, pack for work - wait - back up - Tyler is in his room whining. *sigh* What's wrong? Headache & stomachache, and feels warm. I hear coughing - oh, good! It's not Tyler - um, er - it's Ryan - not good! Get them taken care of. Tyler goes back to bed, Ryan gets ready to head to school. I head out to work. THUMP thump thump thump...for the love - a flat tire?!!? NOT. COOL. Nurse the car back home. Call wonderful, sweet, beloved, heroic hubby at work. He comes home to change my tire - 'cuz he's AWESOME! Finds that my spare tire is also flat...

Anyway...I'm home with the sick ones (child and car) and I've got too much to do to be here. Our retreat is this weekend, and I've got shopping and packing and preparing to do. We leave Friday for a weekend of study, and prayer (and chocolate.) I'm really excited because we've got some rookies coming this year!

Tyler is feeling better. Temp's down and he's eating. Haven't checked the car. Gorgeous, forgiving, patient, handsome husband still loves me (whew)! Hopefully this evening will go better than this morning did...! LOL!

Dilemma

So I've been at this job almost a year now, and I'm really enjoying it. Butcept...

Today I got an email from the 'home' office here in town, asking me to complete a performance self-evaluation. Ugh. First of all, isn't that supposed to be the job of my supervisor? How did she get off so easily, huh? Not. Fair.

Secondly, this darn thing is asking me to evaluate what I do. Like, am I a good leader? Do I follow directions well? Am I organized?

There are a handful of ratings to apply to myself and my performance. So, do I go for the one that makes me the perfect employee, and yet everyone will know that the ratings are a complete sham because NO ONE is THAT good? Or do I go for the more truthful and humble ratings?

I know that I should 'sell' myself at this evaluation, but I really struggle with doing that. For instance, one of my co-workers asked me to print something for him for some binders he was constructing, and I printed what he needed and then I completed the binders for him. No big deal. It's my job, after all. I am in the position of serving the people around me at work. He was thrilled that I did this for him and promised to send a positive memo to my superiors. I thanked him, but told him it wasn't necessary - I'm doing my job.

I'm really having a hard time with puffing myself up, when that's not how I feel I should be. Any advice?

Raise your hands...

Allen asked me recently if I was ever going to blog again. I told him I wasn't sure. But, here I am again...

Today's message at church was very thought-provoking. Jarrod preached on the Israelites fighting the Amelekites, and how Aaron and Hur kept Moses' arms lifted for him when he couldn't do it himself. He talked about encouraging, and how these two men made things better for all of God's people by encouraging (or giving courage) to only one of God's people. The most moving part of the service was at the close of the message, when Jarrod asked us to get into groups of three, and have the person in the middle let their arms be held up by the other two while they prayed for the person in the middle. It was really amazing to see how many people were willing to get out of their little Sunday-church-this-is-my-pew-and-my-space-and-I-don't-need-to-interact-other-than-bland-generalities boxes, and let other people pray for them, touch them. Very inspiring. I've always considered myself somewhat encouraging, but it's made me really consider whether I am. I must admit that I definitely wasn't encouraging to my kids or my husband the rest of the day. Sorry, guys...

Regardless, thank you, Blogville, for encouraging me, and for lifting my arms when I couldn't.

Monday

I got a call this evening, telling me that someone, a lady from church, passed away suddenly this weekend. I was shocked. Granted, she had not been in the best of health, but I never expected this! She was disabled to some degree, and had other physical challenges.

I called a few sisters that I knew were close to her, to check if they were handling the news okay. I mentioned to one that I didn't know her well, and that I really didn't have the opportunity to get to know her. I then corrected myself - yes, there was the opportunity. The chance to serve a sister in need, the chance to take her to church or to the store, the chance to send her a note, the chance to call and check on her.

I think that may be the most tragic thing: evidently no one knows how long she'd been dead before she was found. It could have been anytime between Thursday and Monday morning. I remember noticing her absence at church Sunday, and I was hoping she was feeling alright. But I didn't call. She had just joined us on the women's ministry servant group, and was very excited about the events we have planned.

I just feel bad, you know? I mean, I know where she is now, but what were her last moments like? Had she taken a fall? She was unable to get back up if she had. Was she frightened? Was it sudden, like a stroke or heart attack? Was she in pain? Did she cry out for help?

Please pray for her family.

I'm HOW old again?!?!?

I really thought I wouldn't have a problem with my upcoming birthday - even though it's THE dreaded milestone one. And I don't think I will when it finally gets here. However, I AM having a problem with the idea that I have close friends old enough to be the mother of the bride. I spent a good number of years helping friends with their weddings: singing, decorating, even doing hair & make-up. But never helped their MOTHERS, if you know what I mean. I have a friend whose daughter got married at the end of December, and another one whose daughter will be married in May. When the heck did this development occur?! I don't feel old enough for this to have happened! I mean, did my mother's generation feel this way, too?! Too weird...

You know what they say: At your age, just go braless - it'll pull all the wrinkles out of your face...(just checking to see if anyone's still reading...lol!)

Sunday

Finally! Something halfway decent about the no-longer-going-to-be-a-stuporbowl - Go Indy!

Today was my last Sunday singing with the praise team for awhile. I really tried to put aside my personal feelings about the day and the songs and (fill in the blank)...and just worship. I'll just say that I'm glad I'm taking next month off.

I took Friday off - not feeling well - and I'm not looking forward to going back tomorrow. I can't shake this headache for very long at all. It comes and goes in waves, it seems. Ugh.

Plans seem to be coming together for the retreat. I'm so blessed to be working with a great bunch of women! And I'm learning to delegate...lol!

...and then reality set in...

So, yeah, Sunday was great. Monday, my coworker returned to work after two months, and I started feeling less confident about what I've been doing while she's been gone. Then Tuesday comes, and I blow it from the beginning of the day - lousy quiet time (my fault), so-so work day, practice (meh - again - my fault).

I hate it when Satan attacks so quickly! And so completely! In every area. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. Blech.

So, I'm home tonight, I'm about to put on my comfy flannel jammies, and watch AI - or something mindless, at least - just zoning out...if you need me, I'll be the lump under the blanket...