We watched "16 Children & Moving In" last night. It's about the Duggar family in Arkansas with, well, 16 kids, ranging in age from 17 to newborn, and they were moving into the home that the family had taken three years to build virtually by themselves. Allen and I were commenting on the positive aspects of their family: their love and cooperation, their organization, their faith, etc. It really is a neat story.
Anyway, after DS2 and Allen were off doing their own things, DS1 asked me if I had noticed a change in his attitude from when he was "younger." I told him that I had, and that I could see him growing and maturing alot lately. He was pleased, until I told him what we were expecting in his teen years. (And hopefully I'm wrong...) I told him that as he grew, and especially in the not to distant future, he would be challenging the rules and boundaries which we have set for him. This is part of growing up, and while we're not looking forward to it, we know it will happen. I also told him that there will come a time when mom and dad will not be 'cool' to him anymore, but to remember that we have been where he is and that we will always love him no matter what. I told him that he would be tempted to do things against what we've tried to teach him, but that I hoped that he would remember something of what he has learned. We kind of left it by saying how much we loved each other.
After the boys went to bed, Allen and I were discussing Tyler's fast-approaching teen years, and I recounted our earlier conversation. I told him that years ago, I had read something about how most of our culture has somehow lost that 'rite of passage' that declares to the child and the world that they are now seen as an 'adult.' I told Allen that I'd really like to come up with some sort of ceremony or something to commemorate our boys entrance into their teen years; something that would mark the occasion in a meaningful way. He agreed and we're trying to come up with some ideas. Any suggestions?
4 comments:
You all might want to look at the book "Raising a Modern Day Knight." It addresses that very issue.
Find & print out the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. I posted it on my blog not too long ago - it is a perfect "Rite of Passage" poem & one of my all-time favorites!!! Maybe you can present him with a new Teen or Adult Bible with his name embossed on it and fill in as much of that Geneology stuff inside that you can - that will one day hopefully become a treasure to him. (Thankfully I have a long time before I'm in your shoes, although I'm sure it won't seem that long once I'm there!!!)
I watch and read everything I can on that Duggar family. I'm fascinated by that!
That is a neat idea. I really should be thinking about that. My son turns 13 in May! I can't believe it. I've still got 6 more years before my daughter becomes a teen.
That "Raising a Modern Day Knight" really sounds like a good book!
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