I'm struggling (toying?) with the idea of becoming head of the women's ministry at church. Okay, maybe not toying...but struggling, considering, praying about - yeah those all fit. I don't know if a) I'm ready for that kind of responsibility, b) I'm prepared for the time commitment - especially since Allen is working with the leadership of the men's ministry now, and I really want to encourage him in that, or c) if it's my Type A personality coming to the fore - i.e. I'll know stuff.
Do I really want to serve because of Him or because of me? I guess that's what it boils down to. Prayers ALWAYS appreciated...
Thanks, Blogville.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Yup.
...pretty much sums up what's been going on around here...
Actually, that's not completely true. Been doing the work thing, the family thing, the church thing. I really did have some great blogging ideas, but my head is hurting pretty bad tonight, and naptime - er - the football game awaits!
We've had some unpleasant things happening in our family. Some serious (Allen's mom's heart, my uncle's Thanksgiving day stroke) and some not so serious (dryer conking out T-giving weekend) and I was starting to really get overwhelmed with the STUFF, you know? Then I realized that these aren't random acts of grumpitude, but attacks - again - by he-who-didn't-win. Allen and I have both recently taken on more responsibilities in our respective ministries, and somebody doesn't like it. Soooo...just need to keep our eyes on God and we'll make it through whatever comes our way.
By the way, a few posts ago I blogged about the young lady who was in a coma for no apparent reason. I'm sorry to say that BJ passed away November 17, 2006, after having a massive brain stem stroke. Earlier in the day, she had begun to show signs of awakening, but something happened, and her husband had to make that decision everyone dreads. If his posts are any indication of what's really going on, he seems to be doing okay under the circumstances.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Spellbound
I have always had a gift for spelling – don’t know why, don’t know where it came from, but there ya go. Didn’t do the whole huge spelling bee thing butcept in fourth grade. I spelled down my elementary school, and came in fourth at the next level. In high school, I was in an honors English class all four years. Which means very little, except that I can’t diagram a sentence - we were doing “meaningful” things, like “litrachure” (read in a high brow, snotty tone) and writing our own books, and such. I do, however, have a certain comma thing that works pretty well for me. (Hang on; I really do have a point to this…!)
This ‘gift’ or whatever it is can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I am daily called upon to confirm spelling for people at work. A curse because I can’t see the forest for the trees.
If I’m asked to read something, I will begin with the best of intentions. I want to read what’s been written, I want to know the meaning behind the words, the heart of the writer. Unfortunately, the curse shows up, the red pen comes out (okay – not on the computer screen, people – it’s just a figure of speech!) and I lose the story because I’m too busy reading the words. You remember that scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where they’re at the art museum and Cameron starts spacing out while looking at the pointillism picture? Yeah, that’s me.
I know that happens in my spiritual life, too. I get so caught up in the little things, that I miss the big things. Sometimes I’m too busy checking things off the list to realize the “why” behind the list’s existence. Same thing with singing - too worried about the technicalities of the music to hear the heart of the song.
Anyone else in this particular boat? How do we get out of it?
This ‘gift’ or whatever it is can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I am daily called upon to confirm spelling for people at work. A curse because I can’t see the forest for the trees.
If I’m asked to read something, I will begin with the best of intentions. I want to read what’s been written, I want to know the meaning behind the words, the heart of the writer. Unfortunately, the curse shows up, the red pen comes out (okay – not on the computer screen, people – it’s just a figure of speech!) and I lose the story because I’m too busy reading the words. You remember that scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where they’re at the art museum and Cameron starts spacing out while looking at the pointillism picture? Yeah, that’s me.
I know that happens in my spiritual life, too. I get so caught up in the little things, that I miss the big things. Sometimes I’m too busy checking things off the list to realize the “why” behind the list’s existence. Same thing with singing - too worried about the technicalities of the music to hear the heart of the song.
Anyone else in this particular boat? How do we get out of it?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Blog
I’ve been contemplating a blog. Trying to figure out what to write about and what to write about it. Wanting to write something meaningful, inspirational, humorous, whatever. Maybe even vent a little bit. I don’t know.
Today, I was perusing the cross-stitching blogs I read and through various links, found a new-to-me blog. Evidently, a young mother felt ill with flu-like symptoms on Halloween. She is now in a life and death struggle, with no apparent cause. The blog is now written by her husband, who is dealing with the very real possibility of losing his 29-year-old wife and becoming a single parent to his two children. In reading the grief and fear and worry he’s put out there, I sat at my desk and cried.
I don’t know this family from Tennessee. They don’t know me. More importantly, from what I gather, they don’t know Jesus. In fact, they have denied God for all of their adult lives. But now, he’s crying out to the Creator. Begging, pleading with the Great Physician to heal her, to strengthen him. He is acknowledging that there’s Something out there. He’s begun praying with his children, praying over his wife, trying to communicate his new faith-out-of-desperation to her.
He has been ending each blog entry by expressing his love for his wife. It’s overwhelming to read, nearly painful in its intensity. His words:
…makes me kinda see the big picture…Please keep them in your prayers. And go hug someone you love.
Today, I was perusing the cross-stitching blogs I read and through various links, found a new-to-me blog. Evidently, a young mother felt ill with flu-like symptoms on Halloween. She is now in a life and death struggle, with no apparent cause. The blog is now written by her husband, who is dealing with the very real possibility of losing his 29-year-old wife and becoming a single parent to his two children. In reading the grief and fear and worry he’s put out there, I sat at my desk and cried.
I don’t know this family from Tennessee. They don’t know me. More importantly, from what I gather, they don’t know Jesus. In fact, they have denied God for all of their adult lives. But now, he’s crying out to the Creator. Begging, pleading with the Great Physician to heal her, to strengthen him. He is acknowledging that there’s Something out there. He’s begun praying with his children, praying over his wife, trying to communicate his new faith-out-of-desperation to her.
He has been ending each blog entry by expressing his love for his wife. It’s overwhelming to read, nearly painful in its intensity. His words:
“I feel relief, and hope. Fatigue, numbness, headache too.
We just got back from visiting her, and she responded to me. She’s sedated, but not paralyzed, and as I talked to her she squeezed my hand. I have no doubt she was doing it to communicate. She did it a few times.
Guys, I’ve been an armchair athiest [sic] for years, and now I find myself the proverbial guy casting about for salvation in stormy waters. I think [she] sees
God. I think she squeezed my hand to tell me so. This is hard for an objective person like me to admit, but I think God is there and that she is being taken care of by it (he, her, it, whatever). If I were reading this a month ago, I’d think it’s the words of somebody in shock and grief and searching for any sign of any chance of a hope. I’d dismiss it. I can’t do it anymore. I sincerely believe that she is in the hands of a higher power, and that she is being protected, and that she will come back to us.”"She never believed in an afterlife. I did, to an extent, but we never talked about it. I wish now that we had agreed on a place to meet, just in case.”
“I love you, BJ, so very, very, very much. You are the most precious thing. Sleep free from pain, sleep free from fear. The God that we denied for years is watching you and keeping you. Come back to me.”
…makes me kinda see the big picture…Please keep them in your prayers. And go hug someone you love.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Random...
Verifiable randomness – just ‘cuz it’s my blog and I can…
When will my children be old enough to NOT go out on Halloween? So I’m still waiting for the “I’m too old to go, mom” speech – although with the prospect of FREE and CANDY involved, I’ll probably not hear it for quite a while, yet.
____________________________
So can I count it as healthy if what I eat for lunch comes from the same row as something marked with the little “sort of nutritious for all that it comes from a vending machine, so this is the best we can do” sticker?
_____________________________
Just this morning, I called my sons at home after I got to work:
DS1: “Whassup, mom?”
Me: “Hi. You need to turn off the light in the garage, please.”
DS1: “It’s still on?”
Me: “Yes, or else I wouldn’t be calling you.”
DS1 “I didn’t turn it off?”
Me: (becoming slightly irritated) “No, please do it now.”
DS1: (evidently MORE than puzzled) “Are you home?”
…for the love…
________________________________
I told Allen that I wasn’t going to sign us up to attend my company’s “Winter Celebration” party (can’t even call it a holiday party, let alone a Christmas party!) From his comments when I first mentioned the party, I assumed that we wouldn’t be going. It also happens to fall on the same day as the cookie exchange I’m heading up at church. So I told him we weren’t going to go. He looked at me and said, “But we know everybody at church already…” We’re going…could be fun…
______________________________________
I find it very intriguing that, although I work at a BIC (Big Insurance Company – an acronym I learned today from a fellow external associate whose company employees are not allowed to state where they actually go to work each day) and the place is very Dilbert-esque (many mazelike aisles and identical, anonymous cubes) it amazes me what people will do to make their cubicle their own. Inflatable, tropical fish hanging from the ceiling; pictures of just about everything you can imagine – from Chihuahuas to Harleys and everything in between; seasonal decorations (including one foreign gentlemen who has had a Thanksgiving turkey on display since my first day here six months ago); voodoo dolls (‘nuff said); lovely paintings; toys – LOTS of toys – it runs the gamut…No matter how hard the borg tries to spit out identical automatons, we won’t be forced into that mold…
When will my children be old enough to NOT go out on Halloween? So I’m still waiting for the “I’m too old to go, mom” speech – although with the prospect of FREE and CANDY involved, I’ll probably not hear it for quite a while, yet.
____________________________
So can I count it as healthy if what I eat for lunch comes from the same row as something marked with the little “sort of nutritious for all that it comes from a vending machine, so this is the best we can do” sticker?
_____________________________
Just this morning, I called my sons at home after I got to work:
DS1: “Whassup, mom?”
Me: “Hi. You need to turn off the light in the garage, please.”
DS1: “It’s still on?”
Me: “Yes, or else I wouldn’t be calling you.”
DS1 “I didn’t turn it off?”
Me: (becoming slightly irritated) “No, please do it now.”
DS1: (evidently MORE than puzzled) “Are you home?”
…for the love…
________________________________
I told Allen that I wasn’t going to sign us up to attend my company’s “Winter Celebration” party (can’t even call it a holiday party, let alone a Christmas party!) From his comments when I first mentioned the party, I assumed that we wouldn’t be going. It also happens to fall on the same day as the cookie exchange I’m heading up at church. So I told him we weren’t going to go. He looked at me and said, “But we know everybody at church already…” We’re going…could be fun…
______________________________________
I find it very intriguing that, although I work at a BIC (Big Insurance Company – an acronym I learned today from a fellow external associate whose company employees are not allowed to state where they actually go to work each day) and the place is very Dilbert-esque (many mazelike aisles and identical, anonymous cubes) it amazes me what people will do to make their cubicle their own. Inflatable, tropical fish hanging from the ceiling; pictures of just about everything you can imagine – from Chihuahuas to Harleys and everything in between; seasonal decorations (including one foreign gentlemen who has had a Thanksgiving turkey on display since my first day here six months ago); voodoo dolls (‘nuff said); lovely paintings; toys – LOTS of toys – it runs the gamut…No matter how hard the borg tries to spit out identical automatons, we won’t be forced into that mold…
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Tuesday thoughts
Okay, so I’m starting to stress myself out about these stupid angels! My wrist has been hurting, so I’ve taken a few days off, but I’m feeling a huge time crunch. Allen has told me he won’t let me fall too far behind, for which I’m very grateful. Ugh.
My fantasy football record is now blemished. Tarnished, even. As my dear husband told me after my loss to him yesterday, “You’re not undefeated anymore – you’re ‘one’-defeated!” Great. Thanks. My record is still better than his, though – mwahahaha!
Still working through some of the garbage that has come spewing out of my psyche. I’m vacillating, unfortunately, between anger/resentment/bitterness and - well, that’s actually about it. And if I remember my definitions correctly, I can’t vacillate between one thing, can I?
And to top it off, my husband just HUNG. UP. ON. ME. Nice… “Accident” my left foot! I may have been born at night, butcept it wasn’t LAST night…
*sigh*
On a more positive note, I have really enjoyed the scenery around here recently. I just love the colors of the trees – makes me appreciate where I live, and the fact that we have seasons! It always amazes me to think that those colors are there all year long, but we just don’t see them. Some trees look like their lit from within – gorgeous! We have a big old sugar maple in the front yard that is just so colorful in the autumn
(that’s for you, Skip!) I know that sometime very soon, though, we’ll get a few days of cold rainy weather, and that will be the end of the leaves…
I really didn’t mean this post to be a downer, and I’m not down myself! Sorry – hey! Go out and make it a GREAT DAY!!!
(…62 more days…)
My fantasy football record is now blemished. Tarnished, even. As my dear husband told me after my loss to him yesterday, “You’re not undefeated anymore – you’re ‘one’-defeated!” Great. Thanks. My record is still better than his, though – mwahahaha!
Still working through some of the garbage that has come spewing out of my psyche. I’m vacillating, unfortunately, between anger/resentment/bitterness and - well, that’s actually about it. And if I remember my definitions correctly, I can’t vacillate between one thing, can I?
And to top it off, my husband just HUNG. UP. ON. ME. Nice… “Accident” my left foot! I may have been born at night, butcept it wasn’t LAST night…
*sigh*
On a more positive note, I have really enjoyed the scenery around here recently. I just love the colors of the trees – makes me appreciate where I live, and the fact that we have seasons! It always amazes me to think that those colors are there all year long, but we just don’t see them. Some trees look like their lit from within – gorgeous! We have a big old sugar maple in the front yard that is just so colorful in the autumn
(that’s for you, Skip!) I know that sometime very soon, though, we’ll get a few days of cold rainy weather, and that will be the end of the leaves…I really didn’t mean this post to be a downer, and I’m not down myself! Sorry – hey! Go out and make it a GREAT DAY!!!
(…62 more days…)
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
New day
I’m afraid the high that I got at Zoe is fading fast. I was hoping that it would last – I hope that every year. Church yesterday was good, but, well, you know…Allen had a good message for communion, and the worship was great, but I just wasn’t feeling it like I felt that I should. I don’t know if it was because I’m not quite feeling myself, or I’m tired, or distracted, or just life – you know? Maybe it’s because Saturday wasn’t quite what we had envisioned, or that I’m in some physical discomfort because of my back problems, or that I had yet another run-in with my elder. All I know is that satan is being a bit more sneaky this time in trying to get me down from the mountain. Singing this Sunday with the praise team may help…
I am looking forward to seeing some old friends this weekend - can't wait, actually! It's been awhile since they moved out of state, and I have missed them terribly - didn't realize quite how much til I heard they were coming back for a visit.
I feel like I’ve dumped so much out here in Blogville this last week or so that I need to lighten up a bit. Hence the “Baroo?” post of Friday. I think I need to step back a bit and think some things through before getting all deep and stuff again. Although I must say thanks for all the positive feedback and prayers...
BTW - on jury duty this week - ack!
Friday, October 13, 2006
An explanation...
A couple of days ago, I used the word 'baroo' in my post and asked you to picture a puppy with its head cocked to the side. This was the inspiration for that definition. Its also the feeling I was going for...you know, kind of a whimsical perkiness, yet questioning and perhaps slightly confused, too...
(Thanks, Cuteoverload.com!)
Thursday, October 12, 2006
What is enough?
A couple more tough questions from Rhonda Lowery:
Am I completely in love with Christ? What if I got to heaven, after having lived my life in anticipation of heaven and the reunions that would take place, and Christ was the only person there? Would that be enough?
Obviously, the answer to the second part is yes, right? I mean, come on! When she asked that particular part, I thought “Score! I’ve got this one!” But the first part is a bit tougher. Am I COMPLETELY in love with Him? Can I abandon myself in worship of Him? Is He truly enough? The answer to that question may have an impact on the answer to the second question.
I confess that as a child, I think I turned to Jesus out of a sense of fear and self-preservation. I didn’t want to go to hell. Understandable. As I matured, and studied, my reason has changed. Yes, fear of hell is a legitimate reason, but it can’t be the only reason. The more I studied, the more I learned about God and His love and sacrifice.
One of my favorite songs is by Third Day – Love Song is an oldie but a goodie. I can’t listen to it without crying, though. The line in the bridge that says “and I promise I would do it all again” gets me every time, because I’ve learned it’s true. He would go through it all again, even if it was for only me. Thank You, Lord.
Am I completely in love with Christ? What if I got to heaven, after having lived my life in anticipation of heaven and the reunions that would take place, and Christ was the only person there? Would that be enough?
Obviously, the answer to the second part is yes, right? I mean, come on! When she asked that particular part, I thought “Score! I’ve got this one!” But the first part is a bit tougher. Am I COMPLETELY in love with Him? Can I abandon myself in worship of Him? Is He truly enough? The answer to that question may have an impact on the answer to the second question.
I confess that as a child, I think I turned to Jesus out of a sense of fear and self-preservation. I didn’t want to go to hell. Understandable. As I matured, and studied, my reason has changed. Yes, fear of hell is a legitimate reason, but it can’t be the only reason. The more I studied, the more I learned about God and His love and sacrifice.
One of my favorite songs is by Third Day – Love Song is an oldie but a goodie. I can’t listen to it without crying, though. The line in the bridge that says “and I promise I would do it all again” gets me every time, because I’ve learned it’s true. He would go through it all again, even if it was for only me. Thank You, Lord.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Vespers
Vespers Friday night was so tough for me. There were four stations around the room. Three were interactive areas and the fourth was an area for anointing and prayer. One of the interactive areas was for forgiveness. You were to write the name of someone who has hurt you, or you have hurt, and to symbolically release the pain and anger by dropping the paper into a box of some sort.
I was initially prepared to sit and enjoy the music. Jesus had other plans.
My relationship with my mother is, for all intents and purposes, non-existent. When I was in college, she told me that if were to date Allen or anyone ‘similar’ (what a colorless euphemism!) that I would be choosing between that person and my family. I have to give her credit – she has stuck to her guns. I am an only child, though. If there’s not a relationship with me, she doesn’t have another child to turn to. These are her only grandkids. She is certainly cutting off her nose to spite her face. I called her the day after Allen and I got engaged. That didn’t go well, as you can imagine. The next (and last) time I spoke to her was when I called her the day after Tyler was born – I figured what the heck – I’m already on pain meds! I send her cards on appropriate occasions, and I send her pictures of the boys. However, I don’t write notes in the cards anymore after I mentioned in one that her new house was nice. She viciously accused my grandmother of letting me into the house when my mother was out of town. I quickly wrote my mother and assured her that I had only driven by the house. Sheesh.
A few years ago, I felt led to write to her. I asked her if she missed me. I also told her that I wasn’t going to change things – such as my church, Allen, etc. She didn’t take that too well. She did, however, suggest that perhaps if we saw a counselor – of her choosing – that we might be able to work something out. However, she wanted us to agree to abide by certain boundaries, as in “if either one of us feels that they are as close as they want to get, then we need to agree to stop and deal with the relationship as it is at that point.” This is MY MOTHER, for the love…! I just kind of shut down after that.
Allen has been so incredibly patient throughout the drama that is my family. He wasn’t when we first started dating, and really pushed hard for some sort of confrontation. After we got back together a year later, he was much more understanding and hasn’t pushed me. Although, every anniversary he does want to send her a note: “Na na na na na na – we’re still together even though you didn’t think we’d make it!”
I confessed at the women’s retreat this year that I have held onto the garbage from this relationship far too long, because if I let it go, there wouldn’t be anything ‘unique’ about me anymore. I know, I know. I know the words. I just didn’t feel special because of anything else.
As I sat during the Vespers service, I realized how tired I was. Tired of holding on to the pain, the resentment, the anger. Tired of making jokes about Allen’s ‘good luck’ with in-laws, tired of playing off mother’s day, tired of pretending it doesn’t matter. Two of my traveling companions had been talking about how when they start crying it’s often hard to stop. Yeah. I know. The tears flowed. And flowed. And flowed some more. I didn’t physically go to the ‘forgiveness’ station. I just sat and sobbed. I wanted to be refreshed and anointed. But I felt so ugly and unworthy. I told Him that but He told me it was okay, and to go forward. I took the long way around the room. My observation was that the process went something like 1) anoint, 2) pray, 3) hug. When I got there, well, my process turned into 1) hug, 2) hug, 3) hug, 4) pray, 5) anoint, 6) pray, 7) hug.
I’ve talked to Allen about this since I’ve been home. I don’t think reconciliation is where I’m being led. I don’t know if that will ever happen. I think ‘surrender’ may be a better word. I will try to start praying for her again. It’s been a long while. I’ve finally let Jesus see the blackest, darkest area in my heart – that spot I’ve been holding on to for fourteen years. I know He’ll take care of it the way He wants. I know He was sitting next to me, holding me while I cried and prayed that evening. I know He held my hand as I walked the long way around the room. I know He’s with me now as my tears are flowing again. And I’m so grateful.
I was initially prepared to sit and enjoy the music. Jesus had other plans.
My relationship with my mother is, for all intents and purposes, non-existent. When I was in college, she told me that if were to date Allen or anyone ‘similar’ (what a colorless euphemism!) that I would be choosing between that person and my family. I have to give her credit – she has stuck to her guns. I am an only child, though. If there’s not a relationship with me, she doesn’t have another child to turn to. These are her only grandkids. She is certainly cutting off her nose to spite her face. I called her the day after Allen and I got engaged. That didn’t go well, as you can imagine. The next (and last) time I spoke to her was when I called her the day after Tyler was born – I figured what the heck – I’m already on pain meds! I send her cards on appropriate occasions, and I send her pictures of the boys. However, I don’t write notes in the cards anymore after I mentioned in one that her new house was nice. She viciously accused my grandmother of letting me into the house when my mother was out of town. I quickly wrote my mother and assured her that I had only driven by the house. Sheesh.
A few years ago, I felt led to write to her. I asked her if she missed me. I also told her that I wasn’t going to change things – such as my church, Allen, etc. She didn’t take that too well. She did, however, suggest that perhaps if we saw a counselor – of her choosing – that we might be able to work something out. However, she wanted us to agree to abide by certain boundaries, as in “if either one of us feels that they are as close as they want to get, then we need to agree to stop and deal with the relationship as it is at that point.” This is MY MOTHER, for the love…! I just kind of shut down after that.
Allen has been so incredibly patient throughout the drama that is my family. He wasn’t when we first started dating, and really pushed hard for some sort of confrontation. After we got back together a year later, he was much more understanding and hasn’t pushed me. Although, every anniversary he does want to send her a note: “Na na na na na na – we’re still together even though you didn’t think we’d make it!”
I confessed at the women’s retreat this year that I have held onto the garbage from this relationship far too long, because if I let it go, there wouldn’t be anything ‘unique’ about me anymore. I know, I know. I know the words. I just didn’t feel special because of anything else.
As I sat during the Vespers service, I realized how tired I was. Tired of holding on to the pain, the resentment, the anger. Tired of making jokes about Allen’s ‘good luck’ with in-laws, tired of playing off mother’s day, tired of pretending it doesn’t matter. Two of my traveling companions had been talking about how when they start crying it’s often hard to stop. Yeah. I know. The tears flowed. And flowed. And flowed some more. I didn’t physically go to the ‘forgiveness’ station. I just sat and sobbed. I wanted to be refreshed and anointed. But I felt so ugly and unworthy. I told Him that but He told me it was okay, and to go forward. I took the long way around the room. My observation was that the process went something like 1) anoint, 2) pray, 3) hug. When I got there, well, my process turned into 1) hug, 2) hug, 3) hug, 4) pray, 5) anoint, 6) pray, 7) hug.
I’ve talked to Allen about this since I’ve been home. I don’t think reconciliation is where I’m being led. I don’t know if that will ever happen. I think ‘surrender’ may be a better word. I will try to start praying for her again. It’s been a long while. I’ve finally let Jesus see the blackest, darkest area in my heart – that spot I’ve been holding on to for fourteen years. I know He’ll take care of it the way He wants. I know He was sitting next to me, holding me while I cried and prayed that evening. I know He held my hand as I walked the long way around the room. I know He’s with me now as my tears are flowing again. And I’m so grateful.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Post Post Zoe Post
In reading other Zoe attendee’s blogs, I’ve noticed that this year didn’t produce that amazing high like in years past. Well, for me either. Don’t get me wrong – it was incredible and powerful – but I think this year was very tough on everyone.
In my last post, I mentioned some self-examination that I was forced – and no, I don’t think that’s too strong of a word choice – to do. I wasn’t forced by a person, but rather by my own soul-state, and by my desire to go deeper, to grow – dare I say it? – closer.
For the second track, Rhonda, our instructor, cut class short and told us she wanted us out of the building. Baroo? (You’re supposed to picture a puppy with its head cocked to one side, by the way!) We were supposed to go outside. And sit. No Bibles, no notebooks, no electronic communications devices. Just you. And God. Together. Crud. I have tended to avoid those kinds of situations. Heck, I’ve tried to even not participate in break-out groups lately. Me? Alone with Him? Oh, and while you’re out there – think about these two questions: What is satan using to keep me away from God’s party – the one He’s throwing for me, the prodigal child? And what compels me to be a part of God’s family – why am I here? Ready…GO! *sigh*
Tough questions. She had some other doozies, but I’ll ask those of you later.
So. I sat and contemplated. Once I got past my discomfort at just sitting, I started thinking about the questions posed. And He was quick to let me know why I’m on the outside looking in at my own celebration. Not in a condemning way – I did plenty of that on my own – but rather like He’d been waiting for me to finally, finally, get to the point where I was willing to ask. My answers weren’t really surprising – fear, pride, selfishness, distraction – the usual suspects. But the victory was that I actually took the time to identify and really feel that these were MY usual suspects – not the accepted roll call common to everyone. I claimed them as mine. And while that may sound strange, it was a pretty big moment for me. I’ve been Teflon-coated for a loooooong time. Okay, through the first question, thank You, Lord. On to the second.
Why am I here? Not the big ‘what is the meaning of life’ question, but why am I here – where I am, what made me become a christian? I’m still mulling and ruminating this one over to some degree. My time was quickly coming to a close, and to be honest, I’m not thrilled with the answers I had.
How would you answer these questions?
In my last post, I mentioned some self-examination that I was forced – and no, I don’t think that’s too strong of a word choice – to do. I wasn’t forced by a person, but rather by my own soul-state, and by my desire to go deeper, to grow – dare I say it? – closer.
For the second track, Rhonda, our instructor, cut class short and told us she wanted us out of the building. Baroo? (You’re supposed to picture a puppy with its head cocked to one side, by the way!) We were supposed to go outside. And sit. No Bibles, no notebooks, no electronic communications devices. Just you. And God. Together. Crud. I have tended to avoid those kinds of situations. Heck, I’ve tried to even not participate in break-out groups lately. Me? Alone with Him? Oh, and while you’re out there – think about these two questions: What is satan using to keep me away from God’s party – the one He’s throwing for me, the prodigal child? And what compels me to be a part of God’s family – why am I here? Ready…GO! *sigh*
Tough questions. She had some other doozies, but I’ll ask those of you later.
So. I sat and contemplated. Once I got past my discomfort at just sitting, I started thinking about the questions posed. And He was quick to let me know why I’m on the outside looking in at my own celebration. Not in a condemning way – I did plenty of that on my own – but rather like He’d been waiting for me to finally, finally, get to the point where I was willing to ask. My answers weren’t really surprising – fear, pride, selfishness, distraction – the usual suspects. But the victory was that I actually took the time to identify and really feel that these were MY usual suspects – not the accepted roll call common to everyone. I claimed them as mine. And while that may sound strange, it was a pretty big moment for me. I’ve been Teflon-coated for a loooooong time. Okay, through the first question, thank You, Lord. On to the second.
Why am I here? Not the big ‘what is the meaning of life’ question, but why am I here – where I am, what made me become a christian? I’m still mulling and ruminating this one over to some degree. My time was quickly coming to a close, and to be honest, I’m not thrilled with the answers I had.
How would you answer these questions?
Monday, October 09, 2006
Post Zoe Post
So. Back from Zoe. Wow. I don’t know if I’ve ever NOT come back from Zoe and NOT said “wow.” What else can you say? The teaching at the leadership conference was really good. Lauren Winner inspired our little group to explore Sabbath more fully. Jeff Walling – well, come on! – he’s Jeff Walling, for the love…! And Mike – always an inspiration! My track choice was taught by Rhonda Lowery, and she really challenged me.
There was a lot of self-examination this weekend, and unfortunately, personally, when there’s self-examination it usually leads to self-recrimination. Just part of my charm, I guess. Rhonda gave the class some tough questions to consider, and well, when you ask the Lord to meet you, He’ll be there with bells on. In spite of the afore-mentioned self-recrimination, He was there, holding me close and telling me how much He loves me. It was a time of renewal and recharging – above and beyond the fact that this particular introvert got some “alone” time she desperately, but unknowingly, needed. I’m still ruminating over a lot of the stuff I went through this weekend. Some of the best times were outside of classes – outside the church campus, even. I received wise counsel and huge amounts of love and encouragement from my compatriots – thanks, guys! Hopefully, I’ll be in a better position to share some of the highlights soon. Right now, though, I’m worn out – physically and spiritually.
As you may have read on other’s blogs here in Blogville, some of us were able to meet IRL at Zoe. I FINALLY got to meet Terri and Donna – and as a bonus met Amy, Paul, Happy, Jenni, Snapshot (although not formally) and saw other names that I recognized (Drew, Phil Wilson, etc) – very cool! Definitely a highlight! Although two of my traveling companions consider “blog” a four letter word…bah– what do they know?! (LOL!) And I can now say with absolute certainty – we are a quirky bunch here in Blogville!
My family survived – flourished, even – in my absence. I must say their hugs and stuff were very welcomed when I got back. The dog survived – not as well as the humans, but maybe now he’ll appreciate me a bit more – HA!
There was a lot of self-examination this weekend, and unfortunately, personally, when there’s self-examination it usually leads to self-recrimination. Just part of my charm, I guess. Rhonda gave the class some tough questions to consider, and well, when you ask the Lord to meet you, He’ll be there with bells on. In spite of the afore-mentioned self-recrimination, He was there, holding me close and telling me how much He loves me. It was a time of renewal and recharging – above and beyond the fact that this particular introvert got some “alone” time she desperately, but unknowingly, needed. I’m still ruminating over a lot of the stuff I went through this weekend. Some of the best times were outside of classes – outside the church campus, even. I received wise counsel and huge amounts of love and encouragement from my compatriots – thanks, guys! Hopefully, I’ll be in a better position to share some of the highlights soon. Right now, though, I’m worn out – physically and spiritually.
As you may have read on other’s blogs here in Blogville, some of us were able to meet IRL at Zoe. I FINALLY got to meet Terri and Donna – and as a bonus met Amy, Paul, Happy, Jenni, Snapshot (although not formally) and saw other names that I recognized (Drew, Phil Wilson, etc) – very cool! Definitely a highlight! Although two of my traveling companions consider “blog” a four letter word…bah– what do they know?! (LOL!) And I can now say with absolute certainty – we are a quirky bunch here in Blogville!
My family survived – flourished, even – in my absence. I must say their hugs and stuff were very welcomed when I got back. The dog survived – not as well as the humans, but maybe now he’ll appreciate me a bit more – HA!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Quote
Interesting quote from Rick Warren:
"When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, 'God, if
I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You
better.' God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list.
He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings."
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Oh Happy Day
I just got off the phone with my beloved grandmother, who told me all about her birthday celebration. She told me about how people came to her celebratory dinner, and how she got to visit with people - family - that she hadn't seen in quite awhile. She kept telling me how much fun she had, and also how stuffed she was! I had to laugh. She said that everytime someone new came along, they'd want to go get something to eat. My aunt worked really hard on coordinating schedules and getting people to the party. My understanding is that she's been working on this for months.
I just kept listening to my grandmother, and how happy she was to see all these people, and fighting back tears because I had missed it, but thinking, too, how much like heaven sounds like her party. People I haven't seen in years, or even knew I had impacted somehow, will greet me - will tell me that they've been waiting for me - how they couldn't wait to hug me. Then we'll all sit and share a meal - feeling more satisfied than the best meal here on earth. And the Host, well, the Host will be first in line to embrace me - ME! And He'll welcome me with more love than I can comprehend. He'll laugh and rejoice and sing over me, so glad that I could be with Him. What a day of rejoicing that will be! I can't wait!
I just kept listening to my grandmother, and how happy she was to see all these people, and fighting back tears because I had missed it, but thinking, too, how much like heaven sounds like her party. People I haven't seen in years, or even knew I had impacted somehow, will greet me - will tell me that they've been waiting for me - how they couldn't wait to hug me. Then we'll all sit and share a meal - feeling more satisfied than the best meal here on earth. And the Host, well, the Host will be first in line to embrace me - ME! And He'll welcome me with more love than I can comprehend. He'll laugh and rejoice and sing over me, so glad that I could be with Him. What a day of rejoicing that will be! I can't wait!
Monday, September 25, 2006
...and so it goes
Howdy all! Things around here have settled in to a comfortable rhythm, I think. We got the first progress report for the boyz: DS1 is doing very well - with a couple of exceptions, but is gearing up to raise those two grades. DS2 has B's across the board. Way to go, guys!!! Tyler told me that Morgan broke up with him today. Ah, well...
We're shooting our last (woot!) wedding this weekend. I'm looking forward to having it over with. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy for the families and all, but from a purely selfish standpoint - DONE means DONE!
My beloved hubby and I actually were able to sit together in church yesterday - hasn't happened in I don't know how long! I'm out of the praise team rotation for about a month due to many reasons. Maybe while I'm not singing, I can shake whatever is lurking in my lungs and making me cough.
We're shooting our last (woot!) wedding this weekend. I'm looking forward to having it over with. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy for the families and all, but from a purely selfish standpoint - DONE means DONE!
My beloved hubby and I actually were able to sit together in church yesterday - hasn't happened in I don't know how long! I'm out of the praise team rotation for about a month due to many reasons. Maybe while I'm not singing, I can shake whatever is lurking in my lungs and making me cough.
I have finished another angel - stitching, at least, if not the beading. This is the time of year when the Just Cross Stitch Christmas Ornament issue comes out, but I'm really having a heck of a time finding it around here! Not sure why, but none of the book stores around here are carrying the parent magazine, Just Cross Stitch. I really don't want to have one missing of my collection, so I guess I'll keep looking...*sigh*
Things at my old job are really in a tizzy right now, and I know that prayers would be appreciated...
I'm mulling over some inspirational, spiritual-type thoughts. Hopefully, they'll decide to make an appearance in an upcoming blog soon...
Monday, September 18, 2006
I am, in every thought of my heart, yours...
I took Monday and Tuesday off in celebration of our 14th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. Nothing planned, really; just time to hang out together. The kiddoes are in school both days, so we're not going anywhere or anything.
I can't believe it's been 14 years! Some days it seems forever ago we got married, then there are the days when it feels like we're still honeymooning!
My husband is one of the sweetest, most gracious, best-looking, kindest, big-hearted people I know. I cannot believe that God has given us this time to be together - He's truly good!
Allen is so romantic! I get tears in my eyes when I read some of our old love letters (and some of his blogs, too) He wants to take care of me and our boys more than anything. I am truly blessed!
Here's to the past fourteen, and many more to come, babe! I love you!
I can't believe it's been 14 years! Some days it seems forever ago we got married, then there are the days when it feels like we're still honeymooning!
My husband is one of the sweetest, most gracious, best-looking, kindest, big-hearted people I know. I cannot believe that God has given us this time to be together - He's truly good!
Allen is so romantic! I get tears in my eyes when I read some of our old love letters (and some of his blogs, too) He wants to take care of me and our boys more than anything. I am truly blessed!
Here's to the past fourteen, and many more to come, babe! I love you!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
New territory
*phew* What a busy weekend! The lock-in Friday seemed to be a success - we're really trying to get the women in our church to go deeper in their relationships. We had a better turnout than any of us expected, and more spent the night than we thought would. Found out some interesting things about some of my sisters - um, yeah, let's just leave it at that...But it was lots of fun!!
Ryan and I went to a bonfire/cookout at the home of my "boss" Saturday night. She asked me if I was alright, because despite my best efforts, evidently I looked like I had been up all night (which, ironically enough, I had been!) I explained to her that I hadn't slept all night, and had been at a lock-in. Later, I told her that we would be leaving soon, because I really needed to get home and sleep. As she's walking across the yard, she calls back to me, "Well, thanks for coming anyway! I'm so glad you came out here after you'd been at a lock-up yesterday!" Uh, that's lock-IN, Beth, lock-IN. Oh, well.
Today, we sang a song we'd never done on mics before. I had the opening solo, and it just sounded completely different to me - weird! This afternoon, there was a concert at our church to benefit our local food bank, and the PT was asked to kind of be the opening act. Interesting, to say the least...
And my elder son just asked me if he could take his girlfriend on a double date to the movies next weekend. I'm SO not ready for this! I mean, he's had "girlfriends" in the past, but this is the first time he's ever actually DONE anything with any of them besides point them out to us as we pass in the car and tell us that one's his girlfriend. ACK!
So, yeah, I can't wait to go to work to get some rest! And hey, PT gals - Moooo! ;-D
Ryan and I went to a bonfire/cookout at the home of my "boss" Saturday night. She asked me if I was alright, because despite my best efforts, evidently I looked like I had been up all night (which, ironically enough, I had been!) I explained to her that I hadn't slept all night, and had been at a lock-in. Later, I told her that we would be leaving soon, because I really needed to get home and sleep. As she's walking across the yard, she calls back to me, "Well, thanks for coming anyway! I'm so glad you came out here after you'd been at a lock-up yesterday!" Uh, that's lock-IN, Beth, lock-IN. Oh, well.
Today, we sang a song we'd never done on mics before. I had the opening solo, and it just sounded completely different to me - weird! This afternoon, there was a concert at our church to benefit our local food bank, and the PT was asked to kind of be the opening act. Interesting, to say the least...
And my elder son just asked me if he could take his girlfriend on a double date to the movies next weekend. I'm SO not ready for this! I mean, he's had "girlfriends" in the past, but this is the first time he's ever actually DONE anything with any of them besides point them out to us as we pass in the car and tell us that one's his girlfriend. ACK!
So, yeah, I can't wait to go to work to get some rest! And hey, PT gals - Moooo! ;-D
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Thankful
Tyler and I had a pretty good talk this evening about counting the cost, and standing up for what's right. I kept feeling like I was talking in circles, but he got it. (Thank you, Lord, for giving him the understanding even when I didn't have the right words.) I asked him how his Bible study was going. I had encouraged him to start with John. He admitted that it wasn't going so well. I hesitantly asked him if he'd like to study together. I say 'hesitantly', because, well, you know how pre-teens can be. The first thing he said was, "When? Can we start tomorrow?" (Yay!)
I was reading something today in a daily Psalm study by Warren Wiersbe, and it talked about Psalm 103:6-12. It said that while we usually give thanks for something God has done for us, we also need to be thankful for what He hasn't done. Verse 10 says, in essence, that He hasn't dealt with us as we deserve. He deals with us through Jesus, and the cross. Thank God, today, for what He hasn't done!
I was reading something today in a daily Psalm study by Warren Wiersbe, and it talked about Psalm 103:6-12. It said that while we usually give thanks for something God has done for us, we also need to be thankful for what He hasn't done. Verse 10 says, in essence, that He hasn't dealt with us as we deserve. He deals with us through Jesus, and the cross. Thank God, today, for what He hasn't done!
Monday, September 04, 2006
What Day Off?
Happy Labor Day, Blogville! Hope y'all had as good of a time as we did! My beloved hubby and the men's ministry put on another slammin' cookout at the church today. Baby back ribs (with homemade sauce!), chicken, burgers, hot links, bratwurst, hot dogs, and a deep fried turkey topped today's menu. Then add in all the yummy stuff people brought in - oh, man! Then there was flag football, volleyball, basketball, etc, etc, etc...It was a lot of work, but I think it was worth it! I'm so proud of Allen, and his planning and cooking skills!
So, we didn't do much Friday evening, in preparation for the rest of the weekend. Saturday, we shopped for the cookout, and went to some friends' house for game night - VERY fun. Sunday was church, and well, we didn't get the email from Jeff informing us that he was too unwell to perform at his vocal recital, so we went to that. It was very nice, and it was great to see my voice coach again! I haven't seen her in a long time - just hasn't worked out to get together. Then after the recital, we had our fantasy football draft/fish fry at our house. Good times! Although, we're all exhausted...
I really did have something deep and meaningful to share, but right now, I'm doing pretty good to find the keyboard...
Until next time...
So, we didn't do much Friday evening, in preparation for the rest of the weekend. Saturday, we shopped for the cookout, and went to some friends' house for game night - VERY fun. Sunday was church, and well, we didn't get the email from Jeff informing us that he was too unwell to perform at his vocal recital, so we went to that. It was very nice, and it was great to see my voice coach again! I haven't seen her in a long time - just hasn't worked out to get together. Then after the recital, we had our fantasy football draft/fish fry at our house. Good times! Although, we're all exhausted...
I really did have something deep and meaningful to share, but right now, I'm doing pretty good to find the keyboard...
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Paranthetically speaking...
Life's moving on, it seems. While I was away from Blogville, our elder turned 12. Thaaaat's right - one more year of non-teenagerhood. He's growing up to be such a handsome young man - well-mannered, loving, strong-minded. We're still working on that whole unselfish part, though...I'm so proud of him and his desire this school year not only to pass, but to get onto the honor roll! How's that for a goal?! (Especially after last year!) I think it may have just recently occurred to him that extra credit projects and points are good things! Woot!
So, we're heading into a crazybusy month. September is filling up super fast! Allen and his cohorts on the men's ministry group (they SO need a name!) are doing a Labor Day cookout at church on Monday. The women's ministry group (we're taking our name from the novel series by Robin Jones-Gunn - Sisterchicks!) is having a good old-fashioned lock-in at the church building - how fun is that! Our 14th wedding anniversary is this month (sorry about Memphis, dear!) We're shooting a wedding (hopefully our last!) at the end of the month. And then Zoe (thank you, Boo!) And then, of course, there's the other stuff thrown in there - craziness! Good thing my job gives me access to spreadsheets and organizationsl tools - ROFL!!!!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Breaking news...?
I'm back! Surprise surprise - internet at home! Woot!
So, what's been happenin' in my little corner of the world...? Well, if you've read my husband's blog, you may have noticed that our elder son has been promoted! Hooray! Even tho' in May, I was told that there was no way he was moving on. I called the principal when we got the letter welcoming him to the seventh grade and she told me it was an administrative decision based on what his teachers said and the year's worth of work, but "I can hold him back if you really want me to." Uh, no. Thanks! So we spent all summer preparing him for coping with sixth grade again, but fortunately, it was not needed. Unfortunately, we had already bought sixth grade supplies, but that was easily remedied...Son, of course, is over the moon! We sat him down to tell him, and started out by asking him what mercy meant to him. LOL!
In other news, my job is still going well. Now, I'm working on getting my old office manager (friend boss) to leave and come work with me. We'll see.
My grandmother turns 80 this year, and my aunt called me a couple of weeks ago to let me know what was going on. My mother, who has since moved out of state, will be returning for the birthday, so my family will not be joining in the "regular" celebration. We'll be having, evidently, some of our "own" time with grammy either before or after her birthday. Which is all well and good, but I'm wondering how they'll handle her eventual (but please not soon) funeral. Will we get a separate funeral to go to? For the love...!
So we're working on stuff for the Women's Ministry Servant Group for the autumn. (That was for Skip!) Sounds like we've got some good things planned. I'm really looking forward to them!
...and just for you, Donna - C-word holiday is in 120 days! Lol!
So, what's been happenin' in my little corner of the world...? Well, if you've read my husband's blog, you may have noticed that our elder son has been promoted! Hooray! Even tho' in May, I was told that there was no way he was moving on. I called the principal when we got the letter welcoming him to the seventh grade and she told me it was an administrative decision based on what his teachers said and the year's worth of work, but "I can hold him back if you really want me to." Uh, no. Thanks! So we spent all summer preparing him for coping with sixth grade again, but fortunately, it was not needed. Unfortunately, we had already bought sixth grade supplies, but that was easily remedied...Son, of course, is over the moon! We sat him down to tell him, and started out by asking him what mercy meant to him. LOL!
In other news, my job is still going well. Now, I'm working on getting my old office manager (friend boss) to leave and come work with me. We'll see.
My grandmother turns 80 this year, and my aunt called me a couple of weeks ago to let me know what was going on. My mother, who has since moved out of state, will be returning for the birthday, so my family will not be joining in the "regular" celebration. We'll be having, evidently, some of our "own" time with grammy either before or after her birthday. Which is all well and good, but I'm wondering how they'll handle her eventual (but please not soon) funeral. Will we get a separate funeral to go to? For the love...!
So we're working on stuff for the Women's Ministry Servant Group for the autumn. (That was for Skip!) Sounds like we've got some good things planned. I'm really looking forward to them!
...and just for you, Donna - C-word holiday is in 120 days! Lol!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Blessings
Isn't God great!?!?
We kind of ran into a slight (okay, insurmountable to us) issue financially this past week. Not really wanting to go into details at the moment, but suffice it to say that we couldn't even rob Peter to pay Paul. And then God stepped in. I had to leave my desk before the last mail run yesterday, and when I came back there was an envelope waiting for me. It was addressed in an unfamiliar handwriting and it was a bank envelope. Curious, I opened it. Inside was an anonymous note saying that the Lord had put on this person's heart that we were in need of a helping hand, and to use this as we saw fit to His glory. This was wrapped around a money order made out to me, but unsigned. Let's just say it was what we needed. Don't have a clue where it came from, no idea who to thank, except God!
I know we don't deserve this blessing, and there are others in as much need, if not more, than we are. I don't know how or why we were chosen this time - I will admit that I'm struggling with feeling extremely unworthy and guilty, even. I just pray that someday, we'll be in a position to do the same thing for someone else.
Join us, saints, in thanking Him!
We kind of ran into a slight (okay, insurmountable to us) issue financially this past week. Not really wanting to go into details at the moment, but suffice it to say that we couldn't even rob Peter to pay Paul. And then God stepped in. I had to leave my desk before the last mail run yesterday, and when I came back there was an envelope waiting for me. It was addressed in an unfamiliar handwriting and it was a bank envelope. Curious, I opened it. Inside was an anonymous note saying that the Lord had put on this person's heart that we were in need of a helping hand, and to use this as we saw fit to His glory. This was wrapped around a money order made out to me, but unsigned. Let's just say it was what we needed. Don't have a clue where it came from, no idea who to thank, except God!
I know we don't deserve this blessing, and there are others in as much need, if not more, than we are. I don't know how or why we were chosen this time - I will admit that I'm struggling with feeling extremely unworthy and guilty, even. I just pray that someday, we'll be in a position to do the same thing for someone else.
Join us, saints, in thanking Him!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
What day is it again?
Hi! Remember me? Your friendly neighborhood absentee often lurker/sometime blogger? Yeah, that's me! So, this is my chance to toss something meaningful, deep, spiritual, funny, moving, encouraging, fill-in-the-blank for general web/internet perusal. No pressure. *eep*
So let's get this party started...
Job-type thingy:
Going pretty well, thank you! I like what I'm doing, I'm getting along with MOST people around here (although there are a few people that I just can't seem to get through to with my winning smile and charm - and wouldn't you know it - ALL of them were my first mail deliveries Monday morning - great!) Most people are smiling and greeting me now - some even initiate - whoa! I've found some folks around here that are really kinda cool - like the older gentleman who shares my affinity for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (no, not the movie - which was AWFUL!) It's such a riot to get an email from him with a quote from Zaphod Beeblebrox as his signature. He's also our resident baker - and Wednesday is cake day! How cool is that!
Allen and I were talking this week about how this work environment is completely different than any other place at which I've worked. There are so MANY people - different cultures, races, and lifestyles - it's AMAZING to me!
Got a call from friend-boss a few days ago and she told me it's the beginning of the end for her at my old company. Yay her! She's had it with mean boss, and isn't all that crazy about new guy, and feels like she doesn't have anyone to turn to since I've left. While I'm sorry about her situation, her comments made me feel kinda good.
Home/Family Stuff:
So far, so good. (I hope I didn't just jinx us...) The kids are behaving (or "being haved" as they used to say) The dogs being pretty good when he can. Allen and I are adjusting fairly well to the new schedule, although we really miss each other on those mornings when he gets home from work. We used to try to take a few minutes and chat, but that doesn't happen anymore.
We're going to see my grandmother this weekend (yay!) and she's insisting on buying school supplies for the boys again this year (double yay!) Can you believe school starts in just a few weeks?! Woot! It's going to be interesting to see how Tyler handles things this year.
So, I got one of those certified letter notifications in the mail the other day. Yikes - what is THAT about?! And then I notice the sender's name - it's my MOTHER! Uh...is she going to sue me for something?! So I call my grandmother who tells me what's in the letter (just papers I should have had a long time ago) I start wondering whether she has included some sort of note. Is she going to tell me about the move, the new house, the new town? I picked up the letter and inside was a smaller envelope containing the documents. And that's it. No letter, not even a stick note explaining her reasoning behind the stuff she's sending me. Sheesh! Her birthday was this week, and yes, I sent a card. Someone asked me if I sent if certified - RIOT! Wish I had - LOL!
Stitching:
Still working on those durned angels. Finished one in pretty quick order last week. (Confidentially, I did a whole lot of stitching while I was at work - shhhh!) I finished it while we were at the "Nothin' But The Blues" Festival this past weekend. I was racing the sunset, trying to get those last few stitches in. Now, on to the next one...I can't wait to finish them so that I can finish up some other WIPs and start on some of the pretties that I've got lying around.
God Stuff:
Isn't God awesome!?!? I've been doing a Bible survey - which, by the way, I've almost finished. Next, I'm looking at doing a chronological study. I've been kind of working on next year's women's retreat - just 'cuz I didn't know what else to do, really. But I've taken a couple of steps back from that, due to some verses I read during my study. Just letting things simmer for awhile, waiting to see if this is what He wants...
...so in a nutshell (watch it!) that's me recently. Hopefully that will hold everyone (all two of my loyal (or really bored) readers) until my next post...
As one of our happy, peppy coworkers signs his emails - "Have an extraordinary day!" Of course, the flaky font he uses makes it look like "Have an extra ordinary day!" LOL...
So let's get this party started...
Job-type thingy:
Going pretty well, thank you! I like what I'm doing, I'm getting along with MOST people around here (although there are a few people that I just can't seem to get through to with my winning smile and charm - and wouldn't you know it - ALL of them were my first mail deliveries Monday morning - great!) Most people are smiling and greeting me now - some even initiate - whoa! I've found some folks around here that are really kinda cool - like the older gentleman who shares my affinity for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (no, not the movie - which was AWFUL!) It's such a riot to get an email from him with a quote from Zaphod Beeblebrox as his signature. He's also our resident baker - and Wednesday is cake day! How cool is that!
Allen and I were talking this week about how this work environment is completely different than any other place at which I've worked. There are so MANY people - different cultures, races, and lifestyles - it's AMAZING to me!
Got a call from friend-boss a few days ago and she told me it's the beginning of the end for her at my old company. Yay her! She's had it with mean boss, and isn't all that crazy about new guy, and feels like she doesn't have anyone to turn to since I've left. While I'm sorry about her situation, her comments made me feel kinda good.
Home/Family Stuff:
So far, so good. (I hope I didn't just jinx us...) The kids are behaving (or "being haved" as they used to say) The dogs being pretty good when he can. Allen and I are adjusting fairly well to the new schedule, although we really miss each other on those mornings when he gets home from work. We used to try to take a few minutes and chat, but that doesn't happen anymore.
We're going to see my grandmother this weekend (yay!) and she's insisting on buying school supplies for the boys again this year (double yay!) Can you believe school starts in just a few weeks?! Woot! It's going to be interesting to see how Tyler handles things this year.
So, I got one of those certified letter notifications in the mail the other day. Yikes - what is THAT about?! And then I notice the sender's name - it's my MOTHER! Uh...is she going to sue me for something?! So I call my grandmother who tells me what's in the letter (just papers I should have had a long time ago) I start wondering whether she has included some sort of note. Is she going to tell me about the move, the new house, the new town? I picked up the letter and inside was a smaller envelope containing the documents. And that's it. No letter, not even a stick note explaining her reasoning behind the stuff she's sending me. Sheesh! Her birthday was this week, and yes, I sent a card. Someone asked me if I sent if certified - RIOT! Wish I had - LOL!
Stitching:
Still working on those durned angels. Finished one in pretty quick order last week. (Confidentially, I did a whole lot of stitching while I was at work - shhhh!) I finished it while we were at the "Nothin' But The Blues" Festival this past weekend. I was racing the sunset, trying to get those last few stitches in. Now, on to the next one...I can't wait to finish them so that I can finish up some other WIPs and start on some of the pretties that I've got lying around.
God Stuff:
Isn't God awesome!?!? I've been doing a Bible survey - which, by the way, I've almost finished. Next, I'm looking at doing a chronological study. I've been kind of working on next year's women's retreat - just 'cuz I didn't know what else to do, really. But I've taken a couple of steps back from that, due to some verses I read during my study. Just letting things simmer for awhile, waiting to see if this is what He wants...
...so in a nutshell (watch it!) that's me recently. Hopefully that will hold everyone (all two of my loyal (or really bored) readers) until my next post...
As one of our happy, peppy coworkers signs his emails - "Have an extraordinary day!" Of course, the flaky font he uses makes it look like "Have an extra ordinary day!" LOL...
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Tuesday
Well, nothing's going on. At all. Allen has a REALLY bad back this evening, so I'm in the process of calling him in sick for tomorrow. Okay, that's done. So. Yeah. Um...
...oh! I know! I've been really stewing over the situation with the neighbors behind us, and their attitude towards us. I was pondering tonight, wondering what, if anything I could do to improve their opinion of us'ns. But I wanted it to be subtle, so I was thinking baking some cookies and leaving them on the doorstep, or "tagging" them with a RAK, but nothing really jumped out at me. And I am ashamed to confess that it took me an unreasonably long time to think of praying for them.
That's how I guess I operate most of the time: what can I do? instead of God, show me what You want to do.
I'm doing a Bible survey, as I've mentioned previously, and I'm doing it out of The Message. I found a statement of Jesus' that I actually printed out and put up in my cubicle: You can't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. Makes me watch how I say things a lot more closely...
...oh! I know! I've been really stewing over the situation with the neighbors behind us, and their attitude towards us. I was pondering tonight, wondering what, if anything I could do to improve their opinion of us'ns. But I wanted it to be subtle, so I was thinking baking some cookies and leaving them on the doorstep, or "tagging" them with a RAK, but nothing really jumped out at me. And I am ashamed to confess that it took me an unreasonably long time to think of praying for them.
That's how I guess I operate most of the time: what can I do? instead of God, show me what You want to do.
I'm doing a Bible survey, as I've mentioned previously, and I'm doing it out of The Message. I found a statement of Jesus' that I actually printed out and put up in my cubicle: You can't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. Makes me watch how I say things a lot more closely...
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Looks like we made it...
Wow - we seem to have survived! Ryan's birthday sleepover, that is...he just kept inviting people, bless his heart. At final tally, we were supposed to have 9 boys in our home last night. However, two were unable to be here, so we ended up with 7 sweaty, smelly, preteen boys funkin' up the living room last night. They didn't stay up too terribly late, but I was not pleased when they were up and laughing before 7am - grrrr...
My co-worker/trainer type person is back. She took some time off when her father died, and then a few weeks later, went on a planned vacation. She was back for a day, and then had finger surgery and was out over the holiday weekend. I've kinda gotten used to doing things my way by now. Not sure how that's going to go over. I feel like I'm taking over her job - which is not good - but it's never been clear to me which duties are hers and which are mine.
Speaking of the ol' jobaroonie - I got audited while she was on vacation. Great. One of the two people that for some reason intimidate me showed up one afternoon and announced rather imperiously that she was here for the bimonthly audit of the floor. *gulp* Um, okay, what do I need to do? And she proceeded to do her thang, as it were. Fortunately, I passed! Woohoo! I mentioned it to my co-worker when she returned, and she was "sorry" she missed it - why do I doubt that?
Off to work on those blasted angels...
My co-worker/trainer type person is back. She took some time off when her father died, and then a few weeks later, went on a planned vacation. She was back for a day, and then had finger surgery and was out over the holiday weekend. I've kinda gotten used to doing things my way by now. Not sure how that's going to go over. I feel like I'm taking over her job - which is not good - but it's never been clear to me which duties are hers and which are mine.
Speaking of the ol' jobaroonie - I got audited while she was on vacation. Great. One of the two people that for some reason intimidate me showed up one afternoon and announced rather imperiously that she was here for the bimonthly audit of the floor. *gulp* Um, okay, what do I need to do? And she proceeded to do her thang, as it were. Fortunately, I passed! Woohoo! I mentioned it to my co-worker when she returned, and she was "sorry" she missed it - why do I doubt that?
Off to work on those blasted angels...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Remember me?
Howdy, Blogville! Been awhile, I know. Man, I wish I could blog at work...grrr!
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Anyway...on to bigger and better things! Namely, today my baby hit double digits. That's right. My "Rybie" turns ten today. He has been a sweetheart from day one. Always pretty patient, definitely sensitive and loving, an all-around good kid. He's smart, funny, goofy, handsome (gets that from his father, by the way), and a real giver. God is so good! Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I am in awe that He trusted us with these two wonderful kids!
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Anyway...on to bigger and better things! Namely, today my baby hit double digits. That's right. My "Rybie" turns ten today. He has been a sweetheart from day one. Always pretty patient, definitely sensitive and loving, an all-around good kid. He's smart, funny, goofy, handsome (gets that from his father, by the way), and a real giver. God is so good! Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I am in awe that He trusted us with these two wonderful kids!
Happy Birthday Sweetie!
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Now, back to our regularly scheduled (more or less) newsy bits...
So, my worst nightmare at work happened a few days ago. We have these revolving doors which are activiated by our name badges. You swipe your badge, the door turns like twice and FREEDOM! Well, I swiped my card, stepped into the door thingy, and the door started to turn. And then the door stopped. With me trapped inside, like a hamster without a wheel. You have to understand that I'm pretty claustrophobic, so this was not a great place for me to be. I started motioning frantically to some passersby to swipe their badges. Unfortunately, their grasp of English wasn't great, and I got some uncomfortable smiles and head-shakes. Panic is starting to set in - air running out - daylight fading...*cough* Go on - save yourselves! Actually, the door realized that it needed to spit the crazy woman out of its gullet and spun backwards to let me out. I wouldn't say that our relationship is necessarily adversarial at this point, but we do give one another a pretty wide berth...
I think that's enough for one day...and besides, I have a birthday cake to frost...Tuesday, June 20, 2006
It's here...
Blogville...please join me in wishing my DH a very happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOO!
Love you!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOO!
Love you!!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Epiphany
Yeah, I think I had an epiphany this week.
I've always considered myself a good listener. I believe it's a gift God has bestowed upon me. I can be a sounding board. I will make the proper sympathetic sounds, encourage you to find the answer, love you, and be there anytime you need to talk. So what was my epiphany? Being a good listener is nothing more than a copout for me. If I just listen then I won't have to challenge you, or myself for that matter.
For a LOOOOOONG time I have prayed for wisdom and insight and discernment. I actually looked up what wisdom and discernment meant. Wisdom is, in essence, common sense. Discernment is knowing something hidden. I recently read the passage where Solomon asks God for wisdom. Well, that's how I always learned it, anyway. He asked for WISDOM. However, the NIV actually says he asked for a discerning heart. A heart that seeks to understand God's will. Wow. Yeah. That's what I want!
And then I read The Message's translation. Solomon asked for a God-listening heart.
Solomon then used that gift to rule God's people. He let them in on what he heard from God.
How do I know that God has granted me wisdom and insight, a God-listening heart if you will, if I won't open my trap?!
I've always considered myself a good listener. I believe it's a gift God has bestowed upon me. I can be a sounding board. I will make the proper sympathetic sounds, encourage you to find the answer, love you, and be there anytime you need to talk. So what was my epiphany? Being a good listener is nothing more than a copout for me. If I just listen then I won't have to challenge you, or myself for that matter.
For a LOOOOOONG time I have prayed for wisdom and insight and discernment. I actually looked up what wisdom and discernment meant. Wisdom is, in essence, common sense. Discernment is knowing something hidden. I recently read the passage where Solomon asks God for wisdom. Well, that's how I always learned it, anyway. He asked for WISDOM. However, the NIV actually says he asked for a discerning heart. A heart that seeks to understand God's will. Wow. Yeah. That's what I want!
And then I read The Message's translation. Solomon asked for a God-listening heart.
Solomon then used that gift to rule God's people. He let them in on what he heard from God.
How do I know that God has granted me wisdom and insight, a God-listening heart if you will, if I won't open my trap?!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
*sigh*
Wow - somewhere along the way I posted for the 300th time. Didn't know I had it in me...or that I decided to throw it out for the world to see!
Things are okay around here. Trying to amuse the children is getting old REALLY fast. Trying to encourage our elder due to his current scholastic status is wearing thin. Preparing for the annual family reunion this weekend is frightening because it's come upon us so fast. Figuring out something special for my wonderful husband for both Father's Day and his birthday has me stymied. Stitching on these #$)@(*% angels is tap dancing all over my last nerve.
Other than that, it's all good.
Things are okay around here. Trying to amuse the children is getting old REALLY fast. Trying to encourage our elder due to his current scholastic status is wearing thin. Preparing for the annual family reunion this weekend is frightening because it's come upon us so fast. Figuring out something special for my wonderful husband for both Father's Day and his birthday has me stymied. Stitching on these #$)@(*% angels is tap dancing all over my last nerve.
Other than that, it's all good.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
A mile in my shoes?
I will admit it. Proudly, even. Although, geographically, I should be considered a Yankee - in my heart and heritage, I am all HICK! You can thank my grandmother - I do! She was born and raised in the Smoky Mountains, came from a coal mining family, married young into another coal mining family, one leg's shorter than the other from walking on the side of the mountains - LOL! I can very easily fall into a thick Southern drawl. I know how far "yonder" is, and I know when to stop when I've gone "a fer piece." And I am barefoot whenever possible. Seasons don't matter. I've been known to go to my car in the dead of winter, snow on the ground, with no shoes on. (What's your point?)
As a result of this penchant for shoelessness, my feet aren't really attractive. They're tough. They have rough spots. They are callused. Calluses formed from doing the same things repeatedly, and not taking care of the damage immediately. I hate those calluses! they are ugly and, well, just plain gross! When they get too much for me, I will attempt to remove them with a razor or something else which, especially in my hands, is dangerously sharp. Let's just say I'll never be a foot model.
I was reading in Deutoronomy today. Chapter 30, verse 6 says: "GOD, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart...freeing you to love GOD, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live." (The Message) I'd never thought about my heart being callused, but the more I meditated, the more I realized how thick and tough and impenetrable my heart can sometimes be. Life has bombarded my heart. Each blow has caused a place on my heart to harden in an effort to protect itself. This verse tells me that I can't remove the thick covering which is, in essence, suffocating my heart - He must do it. And since I've done the same things repeatedly, and the calluses are so thick and dense, He'll have to cut it away. Once that faulty "protection" is gone, I will be free! Life will still bombard my heart with pain and fear and disappointment, but HE will protect me. HE will shield my heart much more effectively than anything I can do on my own. And my heart will remain soft and tender. I wouldn't mind being able to model that...
As a result of this penchant for shoelessness, my feet aren't really attractive. They're tough. They have rough spots. They are callused. Calluses formed from doing the same things repeatedly, and not taking care of the damage immediately. I hate those calluses! they are ugly and, well, just plain gross! When they get too much for me, I will attempt to remove them with a razor or something else which, especially in my hands, is dangerously sharp. Let's just say I'll never be a foot model.
I was reading in Deutoronomy today. Chapter 30, verse 6 says: "GOD, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart...freeing you to love GOD, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live." (The Message) I'd never thought about my heart being callused, but the more I meditated, the more I realized how thick and tough and impenetrable my heart can sometimes be. Life has bombarded my heart. Each blow has caused a place on my heart to harden in an effort to protect itself. This verse tells me that I can't remove the thick covering which is, in essence, suffocating my heart - He must do it. And since I've done the same things repeatedly, and the calluses are so thick and dense, He'll have to cut it away. Once that faulty "protection" is gone, I will be free! Life will still bombard my heart with pain and fear and disappointment, but HE will protect me. HE will shield my heart much more effectively than anything I can do on my own. And my heart will remain soft and tender. I wouldn't mind being able to model that...
Friday, June 02, 2006
Friday
So it's the weekend. Finally. I've not had a great week - not feeling the best. Work has been okay. My co-worker is back again. She seems to be doing pretty well. I felt like I had held down the proverbial fort pretty well while she was gone, but I guess I could have done better. At least that's how I felt.
I don't know what it is - just not feeling myself. It's been kind of a frustrating week for me.
I started a 61-day Bible survey study yesterday. Highlights of each book. Read about Abraham yesterday - and it was the verses that confound me a whole lot! Just don't understand why they're kinda stuck in where they are, and what they're trying to teach, what God was doing what He was doing - all of which added to my frustration of the week. Oh well, I'll keep praying for enlightenment.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
I don't know what it is - just not feeling myself. It's been kind of a frustrating week for me.
I started a 61-day Bible survey study yesterday. Highlights of each book. Read about Abraham yesterday - and it was the verses that confound me a whole lot! Just don't understand why they're kinda stuck in where they are, and what they're trying to teach, what God was doing what He was doing - all of which added to my frustration of the week. Oh well, I'll keep praying for enlightenment.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Saturday
Allen and the boys took me out to one of my favorite restaurants last night, and then we went to a movie - it was so nice just to go out and relax! Tonight we may be going to listen to Allen's saxophone teacher play at a local coffe house.
So yeah, yesterday was my birthday - one before a milestone, too. My grandmother told me that this was my last one - that I wasn't going to have anymore because I didn't want that "other number" to be in my age. Actually, I'm okay with my age. I had no problem letting people know. Most people (bless their hearts) don't believe that I am as old as I am. Sweet!
I had considered making something to take in to work Friday, but there was pretty much only me there, so no use in making something for me...
Back to the laundry, I guess. Happy Memorial Day, everyone - and hey, take Monday off!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
...you can't go home again...
It's been simply amazing to discover how many people I know that now work in the same general place that I do. People I didn't realize work there. People I haven't seen since Allen and I got married. People who have dropped out of my life for some reason. I recently discovered a couple working here that fall into that last category. We were - I thought - very good friends. We cat-sat, they baby-sat. We vacationed together once. They were very involved in the life of our elder son, even going so far as to keep him overnight when we went to the hospital to have our younger son. So, what happened? Younger son was born in July, and they just kinda fell out of our lives. By Halloween, it was pretty obvious that something was very wrong. I couldn't get it out of her - just lots of hemming and hawing and nervous laughter. Then they announced they were moving across country. Wow. Okay.
That was nearly a decade ago, and they've been back here for a number of years, now, and haven't tried to contact us. I think I may have a clue as to why they may have dropped us. I think that we were to them like some people a couple of years ago were to us. I think we became too dependent, too needy, too too, and speaking now from our experience, that's too too too much.
When I first found out they were back in town, I actually went so far as to write a letter, explaining my theory, and apologizing. I never sent it. I don't know why. I'm torn now as to whether or not to drop them an email at work. I don't think I will, though. I'm not hurt so much anymore. I think I've just moved on. I will always think of them as friends, and treasure the times we spent together so long ago, but I don't think we could ever go back to that kind of friendship.
______________________________
Please be praying for my co-worker/trainer. Her father, who had been very ill for a long time, passed away Friday. She was his primary care-giver. She lost her mom within the last year as well, and I know this is a very difficult time for her.
That was nearly a decade ago, and they've been back here for a number of years, now, and haven't tried to contact us. I think I may have a clue as to why they may have dropped us. I think that we were to them like some people a couple of years ago were to us. I think we became too dependent, too needy, too too, and speaking now from our experience, that's too too too much.
When I first found out they were back in town, I actually went so far as to write a letter, explaining my theory, and apologizing. I never sent it. I don't know why. I'm torn now as to whether or not to drop them an email at work. I don't think I will, though. I'm not hurt so much anymore. I think I've just moved on. I will always think of them as friends, and treasure the times we spent together so long ago, but I don't think we could ever go back to that kind of friendship.
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Please be praying for my co-worker/trainer. Her father, who had been very ill for a long time, passed away Friday. She was his primary care-giver. She lost her mom within the last year as well, and I know this is a very difficult time for her.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
De-lurking
Yes, yes, I know - I need to get here more often!
I was thinking about how much free time I had at my old job - TOO much, now that I think about it. And I spent that time on the 'net. Reading blogs, reading news, reading ads on the bay of evil. I can say with a great deal of confidence that I probably checked around fifty blogs every day. Yikes!
But now, since I'm too afraid to get online at work, and getting online at home often takes more effort and time than I'm willing to give, I notice that my online habits have been greatly curtailed. I've also observed that my blog reading has diminished tremendously. It's almost like the cream has risen to the top - and I'm only reading blogs that mean the most to me, that encourage me. And although I may not comment, know that I'm still checking, and thanks!
I was thinking about how much free time I had at my old job - TOO much, now that I think about it. And I spent that time on the 'net. Reading blogs, reading news, reading ads on the bay of evil. I can say with a great deal of confidence that I probably checked around fifty blogs every day. Yikes!
But now, since I'm too afraid to get online at work, and getting online at home often takes more effort and time than I'm willing to give, I notice that my online habits have been greatly curtailed. I've also observed that my blog reading has diminished tremendously. It's almost like the cream has risen to the top - and I'm only reading blogs that mean the most to me, that encourage me. And although I may not comment, know that I'm still checking, and thanks!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Thursday already?
I'm still here! Just really busy, and too new at work to even THINK about accessing anything on the web! Not gonna do it! So, you'll just have to wait until I get home in the evenings to hear about the job! (Yeah, I know you're all out there waiting with bated breath...)
Actually, the job is going pretty well. The woman training me is very nice, if a little distracted by some stuff at home. I am starting to get a handle on the layout of my floor, but I'm still overwhelmed with the idea that there are around 300 people there! Just on my floor! And it's even more overwhelming remembering that I am coming into this from an office of 6 on a busy day! Eep!
It would be so easy to drown in my introvertedness! But I'm really surprised at what the Lord is providing for me in terms of, well, of personality! I know that sounds weird, but I have felt incredibly comfortable for the most part around these new people. I've even been known to crack a few jokes - lol! (But I am trying to keep a short leash on the sarcasm...!) God has been blessing me with confidence and openness. Sometimes, I kinda step back and watch myself and think, "Wow - I know her - and that MUST be God working!" So, thanks for that, Lord!
It's been so nice to meet old friends. Today I had lunch with my matron of honor - someone I hadn't seen or talked to in years. I also had another friend visit me this morning - just to check on me! Yesterday, two other brothers came by to see how I liked being there. I've been getting emails from some of the sisters - suffice it to say my social life has improved! LOL!
So, I guess in spite of my initial rejection of the whole idea of a new job, God has been showing me that - for once, at least - I may have actually done the right thing!
Actually, the job is going pretty well. The woman training me is very nice, if a little distracted by some stuff at home. I am starting to get a handle on the layout of my floor, but I'm still overwhelmed with the idea that there are around 300 people there! Just on my floor! And it's even more overwhelming remembering that I am coming into this from an office of 6 on a busy day! Eep!
It would be so easy to drown in my introvertedness! But I'm really surprised at what the Lord is providing for me in terms of, well, of personality! I know that sounds weird, but I have felt incredibly comfortable for the most part around these new people. I've even been known to crack a few jokes - lol! (But I am trying to keep a short leash on the sarcasm...!) God has been blessing me with confidence and openness. Sometimes, I kinda step back and watch myself and think, "Wow - I know her - and that MUST be God working!" So, thanks for that, Lord!
It's been so nice to meet old friends. Today I had lunch with my matron of honor - someone I hadn't seen or talked to in years. I also had another friend visit me this morning - just to check on me! Yesterday, two other brothers came by to see how I liked being there. I've been getting emails from some of the sisters - suffice it to say my social life has improved! LOL!
So, I guess in spite of my initial rejection of the whole idea of a new job, God has been showing me that - for once, at least - I may have actually done the right thing!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Day 1
...breathe in...breathe out...
I am so overwhelmed at the sheer size of my new place of employment! Crikey! It's HUGE!!! Especially since I'm coming out of an office of 6 people on a busy day. *whew*
So. I get to work at an INSANE hour of the morning - one that I thought existed only in legend, by the way - and discover that this will now be the norm of my life. I was shuffled and shuttled (yeah, I got to do that too), was introduced and interviewed, walked and walked and walked and walked and...well, you get the idea. My mentor is a sweetheart, so I think (I hope!) I'm on the way to making a new friend. Everyone was very happy for me when they found out I was to be working with her. As someone told me - "You're in good hands!" Umm - not at THIS company!! LOL!
I had happy welcome emails awaiting me this morning, and I managed to respond to a couple of them without sending them company-wide. I didn't blow anything up, I didn't set anything aflame, I didn't make the boss mad - all in all, a pretty decent day!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...
I am so overwhelmed at the sheer size of my new place of employment! Crikey! It's HUGE!!! Especially since I'm coming out of an office of 6 people on a busy day. *whew*
So. I get to work at an INSANE hour of the morning - one that I thought existed only in legend, by the way - and discover that this will now be the norm of my life. I was shuffled and shuttled (yeah, I got to do that too), was introduced and interviewed, walked and walked and walked and walked and...well, you get the idea. My mentor is a sweetheart, so I think (I hope!) I'm on the way to making a new friend. Everyone was very happy for me when they found out I was to be working with her. As someone told me - "You're in good hands!" Umm - not at THIS company!! LOL!
I had happy welcome emails awaiting me this morning, and I managed to respond to a couple of them without sending them company-wide. I didn't blow anything up, I didn't set anything aflame, I didn't make the boss mad - all in all, a pretty decent day!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Perspective
I will admit it. My focus hasn't exactly been where it should have been this week - it's been busy, I've been training and being trained, packing my work stuff, doing kid things, doing house things, etc.
Today was my last day at my job. And I, again, will admit that I came home just a little upset (LOL) because all I got out of six years of service to this firm was a card. Granted, I was out of the office training for my new job for a big chunk of the day, but still. So, again, not focusing on the other - good - stuff.
Tyler went the teen thing this evening, and was going home with the 'boyz' to spend the night. It doesn't end til quite late, so I was very surprised to get a phone call about an hour before this was supposed to be over.
"Hello?" (me - sleepily)
"Mom?"
"What Tyler." (just a little irritated that he was calling this late...)
"I'm getting baptized. Tonight. Now"
"What?!" (shock, surprise - pick an adjective)
"I'm. Getting. Baptized."
"But...but...you haven't studied it out yet. You can't do that. Why are you doing it?" (me -wondering if this will count if he hasn't done a one-on-one study-over-soda and completed a checklist or some sort of official document - it is late, after all)
"I want to do this. I know this is what I need to do. A bunch of us are getting baptized."
"Do you want me to come out to the building?" (still looking for an adjective, but leaning more toward the "thrilled" end of the spectrum)
"Do you want to? You don't have to."
"If you're getting baptized I wanna be there." (try and keep me away!!!)
"Well, then, come out soon."
THIS is the kind of phone call I want in the middle of the night.
I talked to Tyler before he went back to get ready. I asked him if he was sure about this. He said he was. I wanted him to tell me why. Bless his heart, he did. He told me that he wanted to go to heaven, that he loved Jesus and wanted to serve Him and wanted to teach other people about Him. We prayed, I cried - good times...
We talked on the way home about what this means. He has it down pretty well. Had a few things not quite there yet, but hey, don't we all?
As I was talking with him on the way home about what this decision means for him and the rest of his life, I relived my baptism, and found that I was telling the 'old, old story' to myself as well. I realized how out of whack I've been. I need to get back to my first love. I need to forget about the petty problems and imagined wrongs, and focus on the Lord. Especially now.
Lord, thank You for this evening. Thank You for working on my son's heart, in spite of the example I sometimes set for him. Watch over him and keep him true to his decision. Help him to remember this night for the rest of his life. Help me to be a better sister in Christ to him. In Your Son's Name, Amen
Today was my last day at my job. And I, again, will admit that I came home just a little upset (LOL) because all I got out of six years of service to this firm was a card. Granted, I was out of the office training for my new job for a big chunk of the day, but still. So, again, not focusing on the other - good - stuff.
Tyler went the teen thing this evening, and was going home with the 'boyz' to spend the night. It doesn't end til quite late, so I was very surprised to get a phone call about an hour before this was supposed to be over.
"Hello?" (me - sleepily)
"Mom?"
"What Tyler." (just a little irritated that he was calling this late...)
"I'm getting baptized. Tonight. Now"
"What?!" (shock, surprise - pick an adjective)
"I'm. Getting. Baptized."
"But...but...you haven't studied it out yet. You can't do that. Why are you doing it?" (me -wondering if this will count if he hasn't done a one-on-one study-over-soda and completed a checklist or some sort of official document - it is late, after all)
"I want to do this. I know this is what I need to do. A bunch of us are getting baptized."
"Do you want me to come out to the building?" (still looking for an adjective, but leaning more toward the "thrilled" end of the spectrum)
"Do you want to? You don't have to."
"If you're getting baptized I wanna be there." (try and keep me away!!!)
"Well, then, come out soon."
THIS is the kind of phone call I want in the middle of the night.
I talked to Tyler before he went back to get ready. I asked him if he was sure about this. He said he was. I wanted him to tell me why. Bless his heart, he did. He told me that he wanted to go to heaven, that he loved Jesus and wanted to serve Him and wanted to teach other people about Him. We prayed, I cried - good times...
We talked on the way home about what this means. He has it down pretty well. Had a few things not quite there yet, but hey, don't we all?
As I was talking with him on the way home about what this decision means for him and the rest of his life, I relived my baptism, and found that I was telling the 'old, old story' to myself as well. I realized how out of whack I've been. I need to get back to my first love. I need to forget about the petty problems and imagined wrongs, and focus on the Lord. Especially now.
Lord, thank You for this evening. Thank You for working on my son's heart, in spite of the example I sometimes set for him. Watch over him and keep him true to his decision. Help him to remember this night for the rest of his life. Help me to be a better sister in Christ to him. In Your Son's Name, Amen
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Welcome to my pity party
Yeah, so I'm feeling very unnecessary - looks like the new gal is going to far surpass anything I've EVER been able to do around here.
New boss decided to have a welcome party for her today. Yeah.
And I know I have the better end of the deal, but still...I feel like I'm not going to be missed, and all that I DID accomplish is nothing. I mean, yay her, but geezlouise - at least wait til I'm gone to make me look bad...!
*sigh*
I'll get over it...
New boss decided to have a welcome party for her today. Yeah.
And I know I have the better end of the deal, but still...I feel like I'm not going to be missed, and all that I DID accomplish is nothing. I mean, yay her, but geezlouise - at least wait til I'm gone to make me look bad...!
*sigh*
I'll get over it...
Friday, April 21, 2006
Resistance is Futile
I am officially being assimilated into the Borg Collective - as we locals fondly refer to the 'neighborly' behemoth employer in town - the epicenter of conservatism and yuppie-ism. We like to joke about it, obviously. Still not sure where exactly in the myriad of buildings yet, but I hope to find out soon. And, as I was telling my recruiter - I hope this job sticks because they hired my replacement the day after I gave notice. *gulp* So. Started cleaning out my desk, little by little, yesterday. Not much more to do.
New guy kinda paid me a compliment when we talked about me leaving. He told me that he had observed that I am very intelligent (!), that I don't like to show my intelligence (?), and that I was obviously a spiritual person. Wow. Then he started quoting scripture at me (no, not to me) - just kind of a weird 'chat' all the way around, you know?
New guy kinda paid me a compliment when we talked about me leaving. He told me that he had observed that I am very intelligent (!), that I don't like to show my intelligence (?), and that I was obviously a spiritual person. Wow. Then he started quoting scripture at me (no, not to me) - just kind of a weird 'chat' all the way around, you know?
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Why?
...and now I know the reason for our lunch/picnic - I probably won't have as long of a lunch hour at my NEW JOB!!!!!
YAY ME!!!!!
Thank You, God, for this opportunity! Please let me be a light in my new office.
YAY ME!!!!!
Thank You, God, for this opportunity! Please let me be a light in my new office.
In the moment
Today, my beloved husband picked me up for lunch. I was expecting to hit one of our favorite lunch spots, but he surprised me by handing me chips and a sandwich. He said we're going on a picnic at the church building, and then we're flying our new kites!
HOORAY!! What fun!
Out in the warm sunshine, with the cool breeze, and the crisp snap of the kites - wonderful! I knew I'd be blogging about it, and I tried to pull up some deep, meaningful, spiritual anecdote or something, but I decided - nah! Just enjoy the moment.
So we did. Thanks, honey!!
HOORAY!! What fun!
Out in the warm sunshine, with the cool breeze, and the crisp snap of the kites - wonderful! I knew I'd be blogging about it, and I tried to pull up some deep, meaningful, spiritual anecdote or something, but I decided - nah! Just enjoy the moment.
So we did. Thanks, honey!!
Monday, April 17, 2006
A fertile what?
We had a nice holiday weekend - hope you did as well.
Allen worked OT Saturday, and while we missed him, it was worth it. (Or will be...LOL!) Tyler, or "Baldy," worked with the teens Saturday morning doing the egg hunt at church. He said he really had a good time.
Ryan participated in the hunt and made a haul. He wasn't feeling well, and I was getting a bit concerned. He was diagnosed with asthma when he was younger, but hasn't had a problem for years now. But, Saturday, he was sounding pretty wheezy and kept complaining of being light headed. NOT good. I asked him if he felt like he did when he was having asthma problems, but he didn't remember how it felt. Sunday he said he was feeling much better.
We were discussing Ryan's health Sunday at dinner, when Tyler asked if we still had the "fertile negulator" for Ryan's asthma. For the love. The conversation kinda went downhill from there. LOL! This is the child who called cement mixers "mixuppersers" for the LONGEST time.
Allen worked OT Saturday, and while we missed him, it was worth it. (Or will be...LOL!) Tyler, or "Baldy," worked with the teens Saturday morning doing the egg hunt at church. He said he really had a good time.
Ryan participated in the hunt and made a haul. He wasn't feeling well, and I was getting a bit concerned. He was diagnosed with asthma when he was younger, but hasn't had a problem for years now. But, Saturday, he was sounding pretty wheezy and kept complaining of being light headed. NOT good. I asked him if he felt like he did when he was having asthma problems, but he didn't remember how it felt. Sunday he said he was feeling much better.
We were discussing Ryan's health Sunday at dinner, when Tyler asked if we still had the "fertile negulator" for Ryan's asthma. For the love. The conversation kinda went downhill from there. LOL! This is the child who called cement mixers "mixuppersers" for the LONGEST time.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Dilemmas & Dramas
As you may or may not know, we've been, ummmm, concerned about Tyler's grades for quite a while now. Today I got the dreaded letter from the school - our beloved, intelligent, handsome, wonderful son is in real danger of failing this year. Or as the school so PC-ish-ly put it - non-promotion at the end of the school year. We have talked, we have encouraged, we have cajoled, we have bribed, we have scolded, we have yelled, we have grounded - all to no avail.
Tyler is a very sociable child. He loves getting together with friends, and weekends are made to have buddies spend the night playing video games. He really, REALLY enjoys the Friday night programs at church with the youth group.
Here's my dilemma:
A) Do we punish him at all? I just got off the phone with him. He read the letter aloud to me and understands the situation. I have also told him that I will not try to prevent his teachers from failing him if his grades are not good enough.
B) If we punish him - what should the punishment be? Losing privileges such as phone, TV, video games does not seem to have any effect. Grounding also seems to just irritate him as opposed to teaching a lesson.
The only thing I have seen that seems to work is preventing him from attending those beloved Friday evenings. Hence my dilemma. I really don't want to deprive him of activities related to the church/youth group. I know that these relationships will hopefully last him a lifetime. *sigh*
I haven't talked about this with Allen, so this may be a moot point...who knows?
Tyler is a very sociable child. He loves getting together with friends, and weekends are made to have buddies spend the night playing video games. He really, REALLY enjoys the Friday night programs at church with the youth group.
Here's my dilemma:
A) Do we punish him at all? I just got off the phone with him. He read the letter aloud to me and understands the situation. I have also told him that I will not try to prevent his teachers from failing him if his grades are not good enough.
B) If we punish him - what should the punishment be? Losing privileges such as phone, TV, video games does not seem to have any effect. Grounding also seems to just irritate him as opposed to teaching a lesson.
The only thing I have seen that seems to work is preventing him from attending those beloved Friday evenings. Hence my dilemma. I really don't want to deprive him of activities related to the church/youth group. I know that these relationships will hopefully last him a lifetime. *sigh*
I haven't talked about this with Allen, so this may be a moot point...who knows?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Deep thoughts...
Saw this on a sampler - no, really - and it's been on my mind...
"Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything."
Happy Tuesday!
"Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything."
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, April 10, 2006
...and how's your week so far?
Is it a bad sign when your eyelid has been twitching for oh, about three weeks straight? Just wondering, you know - purely hypothetical...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
I hate bunnies!
Actually, no, I don't hate bunnies, but that phrase became part of family legend last night. We christened the fire pit Allen got for Christmas yesterday evening. Allegedly, if this phrase is said when smoke from the fire is billowing over you, it will change directions. Poor Ryan kept having to say it - too funny!
It was a 'fire' kind of evening. Started off with Allen cooking out on the grill, and then the fire pit, and ending with Allen and I playing Burnout Revenge - sensing a theme? It was a very nice evening - and I so needed it after the past few days here at work. The only thing missing was a couple of fuzzy berries - LOL!
Woke up to rain this morning, which is nice. Soothing, calming, refreshing - I need to stop - I'm making myself sleepy!
Have a great day!
It was a 'fire' kind of evening. Started off with Allen cooking out on the grill, and then the fire pit, and ending with Allen and I playing Burnout Revenge - sensing a theme? It was a very nice evening - and I so needed it after the past few days here at work. The only thing missing was a couple of fuzzy berries - LOL!
Woke up to rain this morning, which is nice. Soothing, calming, refreshing - I need to stop - I'm making myself sleepy!
Have a great day!
Monday, April 03, 2006
So, if this is limbo, could purgatory be far behind?
No, I'm not changing beliefs. Just kind of weird around here today. Nice boss has officially left, and new guy is theoretically in charge. However, no one has actually talked to us peons about it, so we don't know how to answer the phones, which financial accounts to open or close, etc. Ugh. Just call us mushrooms - keep us in the dark and feed us, well, you know. For the love. Plus it sounds like new guy is cut from the same cloth as mean boss. Great!
So - come on new place - gimme a call soon!
So - come on new place - gimme a call soon!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Fluff...'cuz I can...
*NOTE* - for some reason - my page is loading VERY slowly today - my apologies!
What time did you get up this morning? Um...around 6:45
Diamonds or pearls? Yes, and if you have to ask, you probably don't know me well...
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wow. Been so long, I'm not even sure.
What is your favorite TV show? SVU, American Idol (yeah, I know)
What did you have for breakfast? Some trail mix
What is your middle name? Marie
What is your favorite cuisine? Italian, although I can do some damage to Southern cuisine and some Chinese foods
What foods do you dislike? Organ meats *shiver*
What is your favorite chip? Well, since I don't think chocolate counts for this one, I'll have to say Fritos or Pringles
What is your favorite CD at the moment? Zoe In Christ Alone
What kind of car do you drive? Honda 626
What is your favorite sandwich? Rare roast beef on sourdough with lettuce, tomato, mayo and cheese - oh, and I'll take a non-caffeinated soda - easy ice - thanks! Need gas money?
What characteristics do you despise? Dishonesty and arrogance
Favorite clothing? Flannel jammies
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? UK or Belgium (come on - a country whose main exports are chocolate and diamonds?! Yeah, baby!)
What color is your bathroom? To be determined...stay tuned
Favorite brand of clothing? Clothing comes in brands?
Where would you want to retire? Barbie's dreamhouse - have you SEEN that thing? Okay, seriously probably the northeast or northwest - not really a beach kinda gal
Favorite time of day? Early morning before the dog is doing his puppy-potty dance and everyone is still sleeping, especially if it's the weekend and we have nothing planned.
Where were you born? Pekin, IL
Favorite sport to watch? Football!
What type of detergent do you use? Whatever's on sale.
Coke or Pepsi? Coke
Morning person or night owl? As much as I like mornings, it's easier to stay up late than to get up early
Shoe size? 8
Pets? Yes, one very spoiled Brittany - Wrigley AKA Fuzzbutt
Any new and exciting news to share? Jenn? Can I?
What did you want to be when you were little? Well, I told my mother that I wanted to be a nurse, but she gave me the 1970's feminist party line about being more than that - that I could be a doctor if I wanted to - but all I wanted was the cool nurse hat.
Favorite candy bar? Heath or frozen Snickers
What is one of your best childhood memories? ...childhood memory...childhood memory...hmmm...nope - drawing a blank
What are all the different jobs you've had? Um...games manager in a carnival, retail clerk, desk attendant in college, deputy circuit clerk, administrative assistant/gofer
Piercing? Ears
Eye color? Green
Ever been to Africa? No
Ever been toilet papered? My house? No. Myself? Yes. At my wedding shower.
Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes
Been in a car accident? Yes
Croutons or bacon bits? Neither
Favorite day of the week? Saturday or Sunday
Favorite restaurant? We don't go out very often, so I don't know that I have a favorite right now.
Favorite flower? Lily of the valley, ranunculas, tea roses
Favorite ice cream? Yes. *j/k* I like those yummy decadent flavors, but in a pinch, I can be appeased with mint chocolate chip
Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney
Favorite fast food restaurant? Probably McDonald's or Burger King (onion rings...yummm!)
Carpet color? Ugh - do we have to go there? Okay. Blue. Yes, I know. Fortunately, Wrigley sheds an awful lot, so if it doesn't get vaccuumed for a couple of days, it's kind of a grayish.
How many times did you fail your drivers test? Once. But I drove anyway. (Shhhh!)
From whom did you get your last email? The Bay of Evil
What store would you choose to max out a credit card? Probably Hobby Lobby.
What do you do most often when you're bored? Watch TV, read, stitch
Ford or Chevy? Not really crazy about Chevy Chase, so I'll have to say Harrison Ford.
What are you listening to right now? Me typing and one of my collectors on a phone call.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Okay, well, I have an answer to that one, but not one I'm actually willing to tarnish my good girl rep with on my blog.
Time you finished this? Not a moment too soon.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Skills Test = OVER
Yep - all done. And she told me I did great on it. *whew* It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, although there were precious moments of sheer panic and terror thrown in for good measure...Then she decided to beef up my resume AGAIN. I was uncomfortable with some of the things she added - you know, little things, like that I know how to use certain programs and software that I've never even seen before. Yeah. Great. Now it's just a waiting game. And learning that software I'm already supposed to know.
Watched Hotel Rwanda last night. (Yeah, I know I'm a bit later than EVERYONE in the world!) Allen was curious to know what I thought of it. It was a very hard movie to watch. I consciously tried to disengage to some degree, but I couldn't. I told Allen that it was hard to figure out who the good guys were, besides Paul, of course. I found that to be very disturbing. I was really needing some clear cut boundaries and there were none. It was challenging.
Happy Wednesday!
Watched Hotel Rwanda last night. (Yeah, I know I'm a bit later than EVERYONE in the world!) Allen was curious to know what I thought of it. It was a very hard movie to watch. I consciously tried to disengage to some degree, but I couldn't. I told Allen that it was hard to figure out who the good guys were, besides Paul, of course. I found that to be very disturbing. I was really needing some clear cut boundaries and there were none. It was challenging.
Happy Wednesday!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday
This is getting ridiculous! Still not feeling great, still not wanting to be at work, still not able to be a full speed at anything. Stupid flu...
So. Skills test tomorrow afternoon - provided things go well until then (see previous rant) and happy thoughts are welcomed and appreciated. Now, if I could just learn the program I need by osmosis...
Gotta run!
So. Skills test tomorrow afternoon - provided things go well until then (see previous rant) and happy thoughts are welcomed and appreciated. Now, if I could just learn the program I need by osmosis...
Gotta run!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
...even more from my vast store of knowledge...
FLU + VERY TEMPTING (and yummy!) BEEF STROGANOFF = STILL BAD (ugh!) I simply couldn't resist - especially after not having eaten anything since Sunday.
__________________________________
So why do you think the demons come out and bother us at night? I was so tired last night, from a combination of things, but I simply could not sleep. My mind kept racing and I was sorely tempted to try to solve all of the world's problems. Bad, bad idea. Everytime I tried to relax and remind myself how much I needed to sleep because of my health, the demons responded by uncovering another layers of problems to solve. I tried some of my old faithful 'drowsy-makers' to get my brain to focus on something else, but the one I rely on most often just reminded me of yet another task in my every-increasing load. I have found that prayer often wakes me up more, so that wasn't an viable option. I finally resorted to alphabetical hymn-naming - hey, when all else fails...
_______________________________________
Reading a novel called "Club Sandwich" by Lisa Samson - highly recommend it - btw! The main character is in the so-called sandwich generation - taking care of ailing parents, but still has young children at home. Just wanted to share this snippet with you:
__________________________________
So why do you think the demons come out and bother us at night? I was so tired last night, from a combination of things, but I simply could not sleep. My mind kept racing and I was sorely tempted to try to solve all of the world's problems. Bad, bad idea. Everytime I tried to relax and remind myself how much I needed to sleep because of my health, the demons responded by uncovering another layers of problems to solve. I tried some of my old faithful 'drowsy-makers' to get my brain to focus on something else, but the one I rely on most often just reminded me of yet another task in my every-increasing load. I have found that prayer often wakes me up more, so that wasn't an viable option. I finally resorted to alphabetical hymn-naming - hey, when all else fails...
_______________________________________
Reading a novel called "Club Sandwich" by Lisa Samson - highly recommend it - btw! The main character is in the so-called sandwich generation - taking care of ailing parents, but still has young children at home. Just wanted to share this snippet with you:
I fix my cup of tea and settle in at the computer. I should work on a new column; Tony hated the antifeminist one, and I failed to convince him of its merits. But boy, did that feel good to write! I think I'll write about the insignificance of an organized pantry in the grand scheme of living. I'm going to write about the messy things of life, like love and family and watching your children become their own persons who will make many mistakes. One error they shouldn't make, however, is thinking they're better people if their pantries are organized or they can actually make it through a year of Bible Study Fellowship or a Beth Moore book
I've never made it through either one of those, and the Lord knows I've tried. I want desperately to be one of those people God ushers gently aside for a time of rejuvenation and growth. But so far I'm still careening to the right on the Snow Emergency Route of faith. I don't just lean on the everlasting arms, I weigh them down. I wonder why God isn't sick of me yet, and for every situation I handle with grace, two bovine scenarios precede it. For every word seasoned with salt, four are covered in crushed aspirin.
...any one else...?
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